Not new, but back again

[Samandkatharine]

Hi guys,

I've been off the radar for a short time. I made the decision to go off Bac and ease off of my sleep meds. I had been taking diazapam for 2 years at night for sleep, but became tolerant and went into what's called tolerance withdrawl. Not fun! Since both are GABA related I decided to taper off both and start fresh. I'm down to 1mg diazapam and started 30mg Bac yesterday. I already feel the calm returning. Benzos are evil and are prescribed far too often.

The downside to being off Bac for two months is that my social anxiety reared it's ugly head and I became a hermit. Thankfully I did not stop exerciseing so I don't have too many issues to reverse. I did start to open the wine at night too, so I know from the past that that will lessen as I get up to around 60mg. I switched at 80mg so I'm crossing my fingers I won't have to take more. If I do so be it.

Sam

[Lostinspace]

Not new, but back again

Hi Sam. Welcome back to the forum. I was wondering where you had gone. I'm sorry to hear you had so much trouble with the diazepam and had to taper down on both that and bac. But I'm glad you can already feel the calm returning now that you're titrating back up on bac.

Social anxiety can be rough, but at least you've been through this (going up on bac) before and you know the benefits it can bring. Good luck in your titration and keep us posted on how you're doing. :l

[Samandkatharine]

Not new, but back again

Thanks Lost,

I'm glad someone wrote back to my post. Slinking back after a couple months makes me uncomfortable. That's the social anxiety I hate. I used to post here a lot. Now it seems everyone is gone, or not checking in as much as before.

I know bac works for the anxiety, but I had to go off everything to get the valium gone. It was not doing much if anything since the beginning of the year, but you can't just stop taking it. Tapering off everything seemed cleaner to me, so I did that.

Thanks again for posting!

Sam

[Ginger999]

Not new, but back again

Sam, Head back to the Newbie Nest. The long timers are still there. I'm glad you came back so stick around. See you in the nest!

[StuckinLA]

Not new, but back again

Hi Sam. We haven't talked much in the past but I feel like I 'know' you a little bit and have always, always appreciated your posts. Please don't feel like you're 'slinking' back. You're a valuable voice here, and anything you have to share (god, yes, I do hate that word but still) is good for not only you but the rest of us and the lurkers and those pesky 'newcomers' Spirit's always talking about. Forgive me dear, I've had a couple this evening, but I was a moment ago so heartbroken to read that last post of yours and realizing I didn't respond at all. So here I am, saying welcome back or something similar. I hope we talk more soon.

[Samandkatharine]

Not new, but back again

Ginger999;1687820 wrote: Sam, Head back to the Newbie Nest. The long timers are still there. I'm glad you came back so stick around. See you in the nest!

Not a newbie. I've been on the boards for a year.

Sam

[Fred_The_Cat]

Not new, but back again

Hi Sam,

Sorry you've had a rough go of it- but flushing destructive substances out of your system is way better than slowly losing it all and having to do it in the future anyway. Kind of like the "tower of Hanoi" puzzle where you have to temporarily work away from the goal to ultimately reach it.

For information purposes- when you went off back how much did your wine intake go back up to as compared to before?

[Samandkatharine]

Not new, but back again

StuckinLA;1687840 wrote: Hi Sam. We haven't talked much in the past but I feel like I 'know' you a little bit and have always, always appreciated your posts. Please don't feel like you're 'slinking' back. You're a valuable voice here, and anything you have to share (god, yes, I do hate that word but still) is good for not only you but the rest of us and the lurkers and those pesky 'newcomers' Spirit's always talking about. Forgive me dear, I've had a couple this evening, but I was a moment ago so heartbroken to read that last post of yours and realizing I didn't respond at all. So here I am, saying welcome back or something similar. I hope we talk more soon.

That's ok Stuck. No biggie. Things have changed around here...good and bad.

Sam

[Samandkatharine]

Not new, but back again

Fred_The_Cat;1688028 wrote: Hi Sam,

Sorry you've had a rough go of it- but flushing destructive substances out of your system is way better than slowly losing it all and having to do it in the future anyway. Kind of like the "tower of Hanoi" puzzle where you have to temporarily work away from the goal to ultimately reach it.

For information purposes- when you went off back how much did your wine intake go back up to as compared to before?

Hi Fred,
It went from a NA beer to 1/2 bottle of wine. I'm at 40mg now and the taste of wine is getting funky again. A good sign for me.
I went off Bac knowing I may get cravings again. It's only been 2 months so I have confidence things will be fine again. I will read xadrians thread again about the brand issue and the loss of indifference. It creeps up on you.

Sam

[Ginger999]

Not new, but back again

Hi Sam, I realize you aren't a newbie but that's where all the "old timers" are still posting. I thought you said that it seemed like everyone was gone. There are some people there with months and years of sobriety. Anyway... good luck to you.

[Samandkatharine]

Not new, but back again

Thanks Ginger,

I didn't mean to be snarky, and I appreciate your suggestion.

Titrating up on baclofen makes me bitchy:argh:

Sam

[spiritwolf333]

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Hi Sam -again. The cycle is hell -as we both know. I am glad to see you back posting.

Sam, I only wish that Baclofen were the total answer to my alcoholism. But I am glad that it is the answer to physical and mental cravings. Do participate much in other areas of the forum? Please consider doing so -in case that you don't.

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Not new, but back again

Hi, Sam.
I had no idea you were struggling so much. I don't know if I missed something you posted, or if it just wasn't something you were ready to talk about. Either way, I'm sorry to hear about it and glad you're back and posting.

I'm sorry, too, that you didn't get immediate responses. This place can certainly be a challenge in many ways...Participation is key, as you know. And that can be difficult to do, as you also know. It can be particularly frustrating because this place ebbs and flows with no telling what's going on in any given period. Anyway...

The thing that most disturbs me, though, is that you wrote that you felt you were "slinking back". I'm pretty sure that we have all been there and the worst thing is to feel like this isn't a place to return to in times of need. It has been for me. I hope it is for you.

Take good care and hang in there. We're here. :l

[kronkcarr]

Not new, but back again

Sandk,

Welcome back. I'm late to your post and I apologize. I'm not here much these days. It sounds like you have a plan and in keeping with everyone here: please don't feel bad about another time around the baclofen block.

[Spellbound]

Not new, but back again

Samandkatharine;1688031 wrote:
I will read xadrians thread again about the brand issue and the loss of indifference. It creeps up on you.

Sam

Hello Sam and welcome back - I'm a long-term lurker and 2nd time thru the switch - coming up to my 3rd month alcohol-free. Would you mind bumping the thread you refer to? I recently switched brands. Also the loss of indifference crept up on me last time, and I want to avoid that happening again. Thank you.