Commemoration of the ones we lost

[Xadrian]

Today, it's 2 years ago that Anna (Clearhead247) committed suicuide.
I miss her posts.

Let our thoughts go out some moments to all the ones we lost to alcohol and depression.

[available]

Commemoration of the ones we lost

My brother would have turned 53 on the 13th September 2014 if he had not lost his battle with alcohol 7 years ago.

[spiritwolf333]

Commemoration of the ones we lost

Thanks for this thread X. My older brother died 14 years ago as a result of his battle with chemical addiction. He would would have been 53 this year. All told, I have had 4 family members and several friends in my life time die as a result of alcoholism. So much suffering and pain to the afflicted and the families. My thoughts go out to all.

[skullbabyland]

Commemoration of the ones we lost

Thanks for posting this thread, X. Anna, Evan, Dr. Amiesen, and our other friends and colleagues... they're greatly missed.

[YouKayBee]

Commemoration of the ones we lost

If it wasn't for Lo0p giving me the advice to quit, go AF I'd not have 1 year and almost 2 months of abstenance - I'd never have thought I'd do that.

[skullbabyland]

Commemoration of the ones we lost

UKB- I'm so happy to hear you have so much AF time. Well done

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Commemoration of the ones we lost

Man. This thread...There are so many. My very first boyfriend, Matt, died when he ran his family's van into a tree when drunk. We were 17. That was almost 30 years ago. Since then? Let me put it this way...I can count almost everything else without losing track, but every time I sat down to think about the people to whom I would pay tribute to on this thread, I remembered more.
The best man at our wedding.
My best friend from college.
Two more boyfriends. (That I know about.)
My friend, Michelle, whom I met here but lived only a few miles from me. She shot herself in the head with her father's loaded gun. (Why, oh why, did he keep his gun loaded in a house with a suicidal person??? I'm sure he's asking himself that question. And of course, she would have found another way...) She has an identical (and identically alcoholic) twin who calls me every now and then. She's usually sobbing, and often furious. (And usually drunk, but who can blame her?) Her phone calls leave me breathless.
This list is so endless and so sad, I don't even want to think about it anymore.
The worst, for me, is not the ones that are dead. The worst is that we're old enough now to know people who are permanently disabled because of this disease. I have a friend struggling to keep his liver and his heart functioning. He's sober now, but still bartending, and he's only 50-ish. He won't live another five years. A first cousin lives on the streets and won't stay in touch long enough for me to be able to reach out to him in a meaningful way. We have a friend who has wet brain (such a ridiculous diagnosis) who is permanently stuck in the mid-80s and lives in a home for the permanently disabled because at the end she had no relationships with anyone, even her kids. I wish those were the only ones.

I actually have a shrine of sorts in my study where I keep mementos of the people we've lost to this disease. I'm not sure it's a good idea, because it feels like an onerous burden sometimes, but I don't want to forget the people, or how easy it is to lose the battle.

Thank you, Xadrian, for remembering the anniversary of Anna's death. I know that it was really hard for you when she died. Her death was particularly tragic because she tried so hard to do everything "right" and even reached out here when she realized that she was becoming suicidal again. So, so, so damn sad. It keeps me up at night to think of the people we see here that we lose without knowing it. They don't know that we remember. It might be an anonymous internet forum for people with our disease, but that doesn't mean it's a cold and soulless place without real connection.

[Guitarista]

Commemoration of the ones we lost

Vale Anna.

Vale my best friend who died of an overdose a few years ago, and gave birth to our son 18 months earlier, who sadly didn't make it. Vale young man. She was a special woman.

We have lost too many people to this. I remember Mary Anne (Cowgirl).

[satz123]

Commemoration of the ones we lost

I don't know what to say.
:l G
And Eva - a wonderful post from you.:l
I happened on this thread by accident - but I am now truly humbled by the sadness & loss here.
And I hope the message here will go out there to those who are struggling - admit the problem & get help asap !
Just start by posting & reading here everyday to soak in the strength that is here.



Plus.....
I vow NEVER to moan again.:thumbs:

[spigot]

Commemoration of the ones we lost

Miss you every day Lo0p/Evan. Thank you so much.

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Commemoration of the ones we lost

I never thought I'd miss getting texts and calls in the middle of the night.

Me, too, Spigot. I am still angry about it, though. I don't know that I'll ever stop being angry. Such a waste.

Hope you're well.

[Tatahi5]

Commemoration of the ones we lost

I lost my Dad two years ago...died in my arms and now my Mom is dying....booze was their beginning and end. It was what I was born into and it was my middle but it will not be my end. I am so sorry for everyone's losses. I understand your pain.

[Xadrian]

Today it is 3 years ago since Anna (clearhead247) died.

http://www.standard.co.uk/lifestyle/london-life/she-said-she-d-come-to-the-end-of-the-road-she-loved-us-and-that-she-was-going-8720210.html