TerryK celebrates 4 years of sobriety and indifference to alcohol thanks to baclofen

[terryk]

Still here. Still sober*. Still healthy, sane, and sharp. The only thing that has changed is my dose, down to 180mg/day (for about 10 months now) from 280mg/day on 9/26/10. Here's a shout out to friends old and new who've helped me along the way: Ne, Redhead77, bleep, serenity, Redthread12, StuckInLA, Dr. Levin, Cinders, craving, ZenStyle, Tiptronic, beatle, Slippery Pete, Neophyte, and to Olivier and lo0p (wherever you are).

* I have a couple of beers every couple of weeks - but I haven't been drunk in over 1400 days (so the app on my phone tells me - I've never had the need to count the days)..

-tk

EDIT: Thanks everybody for the kind words!

Also, I went back and corrected the links in the next post, and here's some links to some of my favorite posts over the years:

The Safety of High-Dose Baclofen

What to do if you are running out of Baclofen

Baclofen and Beyond - June 6 2014

Phenylethylamine-like properties of baclofen (Baclofen/Mania/Bipolar/Schizophrenia).

Baclofen Potency

Thoughts on Baclofen's anti-craving mechanism

[terryk]

TerryK celebrates 4 years of sobriety and indifference to alcohol thanks to baclofen

Last Year, from https://www.mywayout.org/community/fo...s-to-baclofen

Today marks 3 years since I found indifference to alcohol with high-dose baclofen.

My dose has been stable at 200mg/day for the pretty much the past two years. At this level I experience no cravings and zero side-effects.

I'm still here and I'm happy, healthy, sane, and sober.

As I've done for the duration of my indifference, I have a beer or two occasionally - every few weeks (maybe even a couple of days in a row around the year-end holidays). During those instances, I experience no pleasurable effects or further desire to get drunk (or ability to drink to excess even if I try and "test" myself), nor any cravings returning the next day. I'm not condoning moderation, and I do not want to give anyone the impression that baclofen is a pathway to it.

I said "sober" because I haven't been drunk (literally or legally) in 3 years*. That might not fit your definition of sober, but that's the way I see it for me. And it's how I know that baclofen works. Alcohol is such a non-issue in my life: it's not on the radar - as a reward, or a threat. I have a hard time remembering how it fit so completely in my life before, and I'm continually amazed when I realize that I've gone on with my life for days (or weeks) and not even remembered to think about it, let alone miss it. This isn't spontaneous remission - baclofen simply makes the booze not fit anymore.

* Shortly after finding indifference, I tested it with Ameisen's "drink a bottle of scotch and see if cravings return in the morning" - I passed/they didn't/obviously I was ostensibly drunk here (though it didn't feel like it).

I find that 200-220mg/day is my magic number - any lower and I start having "drunk dreams," though no real cravings and even at that lower dosage I find drinking completely unenjoyable. But the mental game is no fun and I'd rather this whole business be effortless, which lucky for me it is at the proper dosage. In the interest of taking the smallest dose that remains effective, and hoping that my (alcohol damaged) brain may be healing, I will continually attempt to reduce my dose in the future.

I can titrate down comfortably ~10mg/week. Any faster than that and I experience some anxiety and depression. Much faster than that (like when I dropped 40mg in 2 weeks) and I invite panic attacks towards the end of week 2.

It's been a tough year with the passing of Olivier Ameisen and the licensing action against Dr. Levin. I feel as though I owe both men for saving my life: Ameisen through his original discovery and the few emails I shared with him, and Levin for returning my calls from the hospital I was admitted to for overdosing on baclofen with guidance that eventually enabled me to find indifference.

Thanks for reading and thanks to the usual suspects who helped me along the way. I'm always around and I'll certainly be here in another 365 to tell you how year 4 went.

-tk
Two years ago, from https://www.mywayout.org/community/fo...se-of-baclofen (9/26/12):

22 years ago - I started drinking in college.

16 years ago - I was drinking most nights, and probably pretty heavily on the weekends. It never got in the way of my life, my job, or anything really. I could stop if I really wanted to, with maybe a sweaty, sleepless night or two. I took a couple of weeks off here and there only when I had to.

10 years ago - I was drinking pretty heavily every night, and getting shitfaced on the weekends. I powered through my daily hangovers with aplomb. I could always wait until after work, or even after the gym, to start drinking, but absolutely, I needed at least 5 or 6 to fall asleep. I was concerned, but I wasn't able to cut back.

6 years ago - I could barely wait to get home from work to start drinking. I planned my days around where I could get alcohol. I carried a hip flask. I hid bottles in my house. I hid my drinking from my girlfriend. I considered a six-pack of pounders (8 US units) a sober night for me on weekdays, then I would get completely obliterated Friday and Saturday (and then Sunday) hoping to be able to taper back down to my 6 (8) beers a night maybe by Wednesday with Friday just around the corner. If I wasn't drunk enough when I went to bed, I would wake up after a few hours without being able to fall back asleep. I started drinking in the middle of the night. I started drinking in the morning. All efforts to cut back failed over and over.

4 years ago - My life was completely unraveling. I would wake up sometimes with a dry heaving, retching sickness that I could only stop with a couple of shots of liquor. I missed work. I snuck drinks on the job. I obtained some benzos to stave off my withdrawal during the day and wound up propelling my drinking to the stratosphere. I switched to the cheapest vodka. I sometimes drank mouthwash. My health was failing (Liver Panel, Gout, Blood Pressure). I felt like I was dying. I wanted to die. I went to the ER a handful of times; Outpatient detox twice, and inpatient detox twice.

3 years ago - I got home from my 2nd inhouse detox and white-knuckled for the next 5 months without alcohol. Everyday seemed like a waste - I was miserable, and I made everyone else miserable.

2 years, 7 months ago - After reading "The End of My Addiction," I started self medicating with baclofen that I purchased online, soon after from a local psychiatrist.

2 years, 4 months ago - I was hospitalized while trying to titrate too quickly on baclofen. 150mg/day to 235+mg/day.I talk a little about it here

2 years ago - I reached my "switch" - indifference to alcohol @ 280mg/day

1 year ago- https://www.mywayout.org/community/fo...ks-to-baclofen

Today - Still cured of my alcoholism! Completely indifferent!

I've been high dose baclofen consistently for over 2 1/2 years, currently taking 200mg/day (I was at 280 for about 6 months, then dropped to 220, was at 240 for more than a year, and then recently dropped to 200).

Though I had severe side-effects throughout my titration (even continuing for a few months after my switch) I am 100% side-effect free today.

I occasionally have a beer or two (every couple of weeks or so). Except for the time I tried Amesien's "drink a bottle of whisky on baclofen and see if you have cravings the next day" experiment (I passed with flying colors) I haven't been drunk in 2 years (BAC or otherwise), as it is, baclofen makes drinking more than a couple pretty unpleasant for me.

I'm happy, healthy, sane, and as sharp as ever.

-tk
Three years ago, from al-baclofen-and-other-medications/51291-terryk-celebrates-1-year-of-sobriety-and-indifference-to-alcohol-thanks-to-baclofen">https://www.mywayout.org/community/fo...ks-to-baclofen(9/26/11):

It's been 365 days since I reached my "switch," indifference to alcohol at 280mg/day baclofen. I'll try and keep this short and sweet....

Some background: I'm in my 40's I drank heavily for 20 years, just about every night for the first 15, and more often during the days, then 24/7 towards the end. Typical week night for me was 8 beers and almost a pint of scotch, weekends were no holds barred.

In my late thirties I had 4 trips to the ER, 2 outpatient detoxes (lorazepam), and 2 inpatient detoxes (phenobarbital). Attempts at moderation invariably put me in the exact place I left off in a month or less. CBT, SSRI's, counseling, did zero. AA was a profoundly poor fit for me as well (to put it mildly). I did try Moderation Management online, and had no luck finding Rational Recovery.

I heard about, then read Ameisen's book in early 2010. I stumbled upon MWO soon after. I began titrating in March 2010 with Fexobac baclofen ordered online from India, 4rx.com. I was also extremely lucky to find a psychiatrist who began writing me a legit script in late spring 2010.

Post "switch," my indifference has been effortless. My titration, however, was *definitely* not. I had very, very severe side-effects and wound up restrained in the ER and hospitalized for 5 days when I tried to increase my dose too high, too soon (recounted here). Increasing 20mg/week was too rapid for me and I settled closer to 10mg/week, and even then, day 2 after the increase was always a doozy, with intense hallucinations and shocks to my hands/fingers. All in all, it took 7 months of slow, steady titration for me to find indifference @280mg/day.

I am very happy to report that today I am indifferent *and* side-effect free on high-dose baclofen (currently 220mg/day). I have been taking baclofen continuously for 19 months.

My simple answer to overcoming side-effects is 1)slow, consistent titration 2)even dosing on an even schedule 60/60/60/60 at 6am/12pm/6pm/12am 3)consistency in brand of baclofen - don't interchange brands day to day and if you need to switch brands do it this way: (100% Brand A to 75% Brand A + 25% Brand B to 50% Brand A + 50% Brand B to 25% Brand A + 75% Brand B to 100% Brand B ).

I've had a beer or 2 (or 3) a few times and that probably doesn't fit many people's definition of sobriety, but I know that baclofen has cured my alcohol addiction. I don't think about drinking, I don't remember about drinking, when I try and make a plan to drink a beer to enjoy the taste of it, I always forget it. I don't like to have more than 1 or 2, I don't like the feeling (it doesn't get me buzzed or drunk anymore) and I don't like how I feel in the morning. I don't have any of the cravings that made me feel like every night I was missing out because I couldn't drink a beer. I don't know if it will last forever, and maybe it's a slippery slope, but that's the way it is, and I feel confident, sane, and sharp as ever. Thank you Dr. Olivier Ameisen for making this journey possible, and Dr. Levin, Ne/Neva Eva, RedHead77, Lo0p, Cinders, craving, ZenStyle, beatle, ignominious, XXXXX, bleep, _serenity_, moglor, guardian, birdy02, Otter, and anyone I've left out, for helping me along the way.

-tk

[available]

TerryK celebrates 4 years of sobriety and indifference to alcohol thanks to baclofen

Congrats Terry, you toot your own horn for four years, i know i would be honking mine. You deserve a huge congrats for four years being sober. Its inspiring to see others beat the beast in whatever way they can and find what works. Well done on 4 years.

[spiritwolf333]

TerryK celebrates 4 years of sobriety and indifference to alcohol thanks to baclofen

Hi Terry -thank you for making this post. You ,along with baclofen have certainly made a difference in lives of many on this forum -and, I imagine elsewhere. Congratulations big time to you. (Irrespective of your personal opinions towards me, I have always appreciated most of your posts and all of your PASSION for baclofen.) Peace to you -and again congrats.

[neophyte]

TerryK celebrates 4 years of sobriety and indifference to alcohol thanks to baclofen

I have learned a lot from you on this forum, your posts are no nonsense and insightful. Look forward to seeing the 5 year update. Your history of alcoholism resonates with my own, I can see that I was only heading for a train wreck of a life if I had continued on without baclofen.

[shamrock85]

TerryK celebrates 4 years of sobriety and indifference to alcohol thanks to baclofen

Thanks, Terry! I'm new to bac, but your journey has given me hope! I really appreciate you posting it....

[Cassander]

TerryK celebrates 4 years of sobriety and indifference to alcohol thanks to baclofen

Very nice, tk.

In light of stories like yours, its so hard to understand why baclofen is...still...not mainstream.

[bleep]

TerryK celebrates 4 years of sobriety and indifference to alcohol thanks to baclofen

This forum owes you tk. Wishing you many, many more years of the same.

[treetops]

TerryK celebrates 4 years of sobriety and indifference to alcohol thanks to baclofen

Great news TK. I am an advocate of the use of medications to help people beat the Beast and to save lives and make living in this world possible. You must take credit also for the effort you yourself have put into this as well. No medication is easy and it often requires super- commitment from the user to continue. So I applaud you.

[Ne/Neva Eva]

TerryK celebrates 4 years of sobriety and indifference to alcohol thanks to baclofen

Congratulations, Terry!
I woke up hoping to see an update from you!
Thanks for being a sounding board, as well as a wealth of information and inspiration. This board wouldn't be the same without your input, and neither would I. :l

[Lostinspace]

TerryK celebrates 4 years of sobriety and indifference to alcohol thanks to baclofen

Congrats on four years, Terry! I really appreciate all of the information you've provided to this forum, as well as your yearly updates. It's very inspiring to see this working for people long term.

[kronkcarr]

TerryK celebrates 4 years of sobriety and indifference to alcohol thanks to baclofen

terryk,

Congratulations on the good life you've built for yourself with the help of baclofen. I really appreciate and enjoyed reading your posts as each year came around.

[FlyAway]

TerryK celebrates 4 years of sobriety and indifference to alcohol thanks to baclofen

Congratulations!

[spiritwolf333]

TerryK celebrates 4 years of sobriety and indifference to alcohol thanks to baclofen

Hi TK -again. Someone suggested that I go back and review some of your early posts regarding Baclofen. They said that I could really learn a lot from your information, and now, having read some of your info, I really have. I certainly understand the challenges you faced while trying to find your point of indifference to alcohol -using Baclofen. Fortunately, I never ended up in the emergency room as a result of taking Baclofen, as you did, but still, the side effects were demanding for quite some time. I am glad that you stayed with Baclofen for 7 months to find indifference. Your information has certainly help to others besides just me.

https://www.mywayout.org/community/fo...ks-to-baclofen

"TerryK celebrates 1 year of sobriety and indifference to alcohol thanks to baclofen 09-26-2011, 06:26 PM

Some background: I'm in my 40's I drank heavily for 20 years, just about every night for the first 15, and more often during the days, then 24/7 towards the end. Typical week night for me was 8 beers and almost a pint of scotch, weekends were no holds barred.

Post "switch," my indifference has been effortless. My titration, however, was *definitely* not. I had very, very severe side-effects and wound up restrained in the ER and hospitalized for 5 days when I tried to increase my dose too high, too soon (recounted here). Increasing 20mg/week was too rapid for me and I settled closer to 10mg/week, and even then, day 2 after the increase was always a doozy, with intense hallucinations and shocks to my hands/fingers. All in all, it took 7 months of slow, steady titration for me to find indifference @280mg/day.

I am very happy to report that today I am indifferent *and* side-effect free on high-dose baclofen (currently 220mg/day). I have been taking baclofen continuously for 19 months"

[neophyte]

TerryK celebrates 4 years of sobriety and indifference to alcohol thanks to baclofen

Terry, I'm curious when you say you experience no euphoria at all when drinking, I find this not the case for me at 300mg of baclofen. If I consume 3 glasses of wine, ill get some euphoria, though its diminished. When I don't drink however I don't crave. However there is still a will power component there if i have had a bad day or the circumstances lead that way. I wonder if I actually need to go higher in baclofen, something I don't want to do.

Just interested in your thoughts on this.