I was on Baclofen between about mid-July to September of this year. For the last couple years I've been struggling with crippling, non-functional alcoholism. I have not been able to keep a job, save any money, be responsible, etc. for a long time. I was getting desperate, as I found myself binging and vomiting at least every few weeks or so, and each time was traumatizing. So I started titrating up my dose very quickly. All the while I was taking Baclofen, I was drinking heavily.
Early September, I had a terrifying episode. I got blackout drunk, which happens occasionally, but I also started experiencing powerful delusions, which has never happened. I spent 3 days or so by myself trying to wean myself off the alcohol, but I was unsuccessful, and the delusions got extremely powerful. I woke up in the hospital after being in a coma for a few days. My memories of that time are nothing but nightmares and paranoid psychosis. It was awful.
I was up to about 160mg before this episode, and in my desperation, I had taken a few doses of 300mg. Upon entering the hospital, I had no access to my Baclofen, so I was on a cold turkey withdrawal from both alcohol and Baclofen. My severe symptoms lasted over a week, including hallucinations and insomnia. After that, I entered a 28-day rehab program, and now am in sober living, with over 80 days since my last drink.
Literally no one I have been in treatment with has ever heard of Baclofen, not even the counselors. I am being forced into 12-step programs right now as part of my sober living arrangement, but I can definitely tell that is just not for me. I am told on a daily basis how 12-step programs are really the "best" way to recovery right now, and if I'm not ready to do them, then I'm not really serious about quitting drinking.
I find myself very alone in seeking out Baclofen as a treatment option. It seems like no one else has ever heard of it, and the research behind it is pretty lacking. And since my last experience didn't work out well, it's making me feel like this whole thing is just a pipe dream. At least every day, the thought of getting drunk and jumping off a cliff passes through my mind, as if it was somehow my destiny to become a casualty of this disease.
What words do you guys have for this struggling alcoholic? Should I try Baclofen again? I can't take it while I'm in sober living as I can't risk it showing up on a UA, but maybe after I get out? How can I stay sober between the time I start the regimen and when I reach my switch dose?
Thanks guys, and sorry for the length.
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