I decided last night that as I believe that I am now indifferent to alcohol I don't really need to worry myself too much about the drinking experiment.I am not going to go out and buy beer just to see if I have indeed lost the obsession and compulsion,I am just going to wait without concern for the opportunity to have a drink to pop up.
I started thinking to myself that the controlled drinking experiment idea is becoming for me slightly obsessive and maybe I have not reached a place of indifference.I actually walked into the bottle shop part of a supermarket yesterday to see if I had any thoughts of excitement or craving.I definitely didn't have excitement or craving,I actually looked at all the prices and went "wow,the price of my favourite beer has gone up".This began the thoughts of maybe I really do not need to worry too much about this.
Kronkcarrs words that "alcohol doesn't run him anymore" were a revelation to me.I have done so much AA and NA that I believe that I have in a sense been brainwashed to believe that nothing could ever achieve what Baclofen can,short of a spiritual experience(I have no problem with the spiritual aspects of the fellowships).I actually believe that God(whatever that is)could and can provide a medication that can and does do what most alcoholics are essentially searching for ie.Baclofen.I have begun to understand that even though I might get decades of AF time up in the fellowships I would still be to some extent under the control of alcohol.I would like to say here that I know that the fellowships have changed countless lives for the better and am in no way trying to belittle the great changes to so many lives that they have made.I definitely like the idea of having the power of choice back.
I have been where you were too Spiritfree and do not want to go back there,I see this as a motivator at this stage to know until I am convinced of my indifference to be careful,but as I said in the beginning of the post I am not going to give much thought to it and feel that I don't need to either until the opportunity arises.
Thankyou again for your input guys(meaning everyone who has contributed to this thread) and I am glad that this topic is considered interesting for others out there.What began for me as a thread to find out others opinions on whether controlled drinking was possible with Baclofen has now become for me(and hopefully others) a thread about achieving a true freedom from alcohol.
Cheers Steve.
P.S. Hudstar I hope that you achieve it too mate.
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