Thread 'Half way on Bac'
I'll just rip off the band aid and come straight out with it. After an astonishing change brought about by 150mg of baclofen I enjoyed about four weeks of real, blissful indifference to Al. It felt like going back in time 20 years. But then it happened. One weekend I was home alone and then the old 'voice' surfaced. You know the one. The one that says 'see, you're okay now. Have a little drink'. I did and as night follows day, and as alcoholics ever fall into the same old trap, it began a ten day bender as dark as any I've had.
(I was actually a little ashamed to come back here and report that. How soon I forget that recovery is a twisted road, with all its ups and downs, victories and defeats.)
When it abated I had to take stock. I concluded that I had only experienced a 'honeymoon' period with baclofen but that I had to commit to increasing my dose until... well, until what? Another three months on top of the three before of further titration with all the same grimy side effects (that did wear off)? Hit 200mg? 250? 300? And what after that? A lifetime of popping pills?
To cut a long story short, inspired by the new possibilities that pharmacology presents for treating this horrible affliction of mine/ours, I researched the Sinclair Method, Dr Eskapa's book 'The Cure for Alcoholism' and the film 'One Little Pill' and naltrexone.
I'd heard of the method before but that was back in the days when I was still conditioned by AA to mistrust medicine to help with addiction. Now, with my eyes opened, the science makes so much sense to me. The fact that it has been rigorously trialled and has been approved only helped further. (I hope baclofen will achieve the same approval but my feelings are that it needs a lot of refinement).
I wrote to Dr Chick and he prescribed it and I have been taking naltrexone for two weeks, slowing titrating down from baclofen. So far I can feel a difference when I drink and can finish far sooner. This is good. But following the book and the advice I've seen in this forum I know it's a commitment of months. And then a lifetime.
Which doesn't frighten me at all. If I can lose the addiction over several months, lose the compulsion to drink - even if I DO drink! - and only have to take one silly, amazing little pill should I choose to drink again, well. There's no contest. I hope to come to think of it like contraception. Like drinking 'with protection'.
So these are my thoughts and a little update since my last posts. As ever I'm so impressed and grateful for the experiences I read here.
Wish you all well in your recovery - whatever form that takes.
Hud
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