My baclofen journey

[Mentium]

The forum seems to be in a bit of a lull today and as I am feeling the need to be engaged in this experiment I am performing on myself with baclofen. And also as a number of people have started threads about their own experiences with the drug I thought I would too! And it is here in the 'research and support' forum because that is what I hope it will elicit - support that is. And of course this is research. On me. I'll try to post something every day.

I have had a drinking problem most of my adult life. I'm now on the verge of getting properly old and this is my last chance to get and stay sober - or free of the tyranny that an addiction to alcohol has had over me for over 30 years. I won't do a drunkalogue here (there is one in the 'my story' forum), but I have drunk more or less consistently all those years - the equivalent of a litre of wine most evenings. The amount has rarely exceeded that though it has probably crept up slightly over time. I have attended AA, had counselling, participated in on-line forums (other than this one) , attended secular support groups and used will power, but I have never attained contented sobriety. Cravings get me every time: a few days, a few weeks or a few months into sobriety. I miss the effect of alcohol more than I can bare it seems.

I knew I had a big problem when one day, in my early 40s I made a decision to quit for a few weeks. By the evening I was walking to the corner shop with tears streaming down my face because I didn't have the will power to stick to a decision I had made a few short hours earlier.

Like lots of people here I read The End of my Addiction and suddenly I had hope that I could once and for all beat this thing.

I've been taking baclofen for 31 days now. I keep a spreadsheet of my dosage. I know that is pretty anal, but it helps me to keep track. I had a glitch a week or so ago when a combination of side effects and a sudden feeling of negativity combined to make me decide to lower the dose and perhaps have a re-think. So I wound down to 60 a day but in the end decided to go for it again. What was the alternative? Certainly not some other route to contended sobriety - I think I have tried pretty much all of them. I have built up the dose again to 100 mg as of today since then.

I do seem to be rather prone to SEs. I get very heavy limbs - my legs feel they weigh more than they do. Muscle pain, electrical 'snaps', a heavy feeling of weight in my upper chest, periods of nasal congestion, which puzzled me until I read here that it is quite a common SE. I will tolerate a lot of these if I have to. This is the last chance saloon for me I think.

Which brings me on to here.

I think this forum is great. What a decent humane bunch of drunks you guys are.

Well that's it for now. Onwards!

[neophyte]

hi Mentium, its a great idea to keep an only journal on your progress, be 100% completely honest, there is no judgement from the majority here. We've all been there and were here to help.

I've been taking baclofen for 31 days now. I keep a spreadsheet of my dosage. I know that is pretty anal, but it helps me to keep track

I do exactly this, and im up to day 835. I would write the spread sheet, here is an example. The baclofen tritation scheduled i followed in that document was my journey at that time

Neos baclofen log

Alot of people here have a mental illness or another, so i also used it to log meds i was on and how i felt, just a few bullet points suffices.

It's really handy to go over the beginning and realize how much of a mess i was, I'd tend to only write out my negative feelings, so generally that column gets left blank these days.. The mind tends to forget about pain, so its good to have that log. hope it serves you well

[nicnak68]

I'm so glad you found the site mentium and will be following this the thread with interest

[Molly78]

Mentium, can you point me to your drunkalogue please? I like reading other people's stories. One of my favourite books is" Drinking ;a love story" by Caroline Knapp (I think I have that name right) which I reread many times because it resonated so much with me.

I can't see a forum called "My story" although I'm sure it exists, is it called something different?

DOI: had a stressful day, brain not working even at its usual slow rate.

Sorry, found it. Just needed to scroll down. D'oh!

[kronkcarr]

Mentium,

I'm glad you're here and posting as you go. Keep taking the pills and posting and things will turn around for you. It worked for me and I'm so grateful to Dr A for writing his book and for those who help me on here. Hang tough!

[dundrinkn]

So great that you're hear and it is super helpful to have your own thread. I started one, but mostly post on other's threads which makes it hard sometimes to track things -- like at what dosage I switched at which time, etc. So good on you for getting one started. Just keep taking the pills and keep track of how it's going. The SEs will ease over time and probably disappear all together.

[Mentium]

Well I make it to 100 MG yesterday. As I am not working I may try increasing the dose a tad faster again. Perhaps increasing by 20 mg every couple of days? If anyone thinks that is unwise please let me know. I can always slow down if needs be.

Possible side effect here - waking quite a bit earlier in the morning - 6.30 or so rather than later. Also, there is a cold doing the rounds here - quite a nasty one. Woke up unable to breathe through my nose and wondered if I am getting it or if it is that blocked nose thing that seems quite a common SE. A blast of nasal spray seems to have cleared it, so perhaps it isn't a cold. Kath, my partner, who is super fit - goes to the gym three times a week and eats very healthily has had two colds in six weeks! Arf! Lazy arsed me has (so far) escaped it! Maybe not..shall see.

We have two border terriers, talking of keeping fit. We got them when I knew I would be getting early retirement. I always wanted a dog but to my way of thinking it is sheer cruelty to get one and then leave it alone in the house all day when everyone goes to work. They are pack animals for goodness sake! Anyway I walk them twice a day - an hour each time in the summer and less so in the winter (it gets dark very early this time of year in this neck of the woods). I have spectacular walking country very near here - the Lake District, so I am lucky. That and house work provides my exercise 'regime'.

Enough rambling. I hope everyone is doing well. Shocking news from Paris. Stay safe.

[Lostinspace]

Mentium - That’s great that you’re going to keep your own thread! I did the same thing, as you’ve probably seen, and it’s been really helpful to me. I do think going up 20 mg every two days (if that’s what you mean by a “couple”) might be a wee bit too fast. It’s usually recommended to go up every three to five days. But as you said, you’re not working right now, so there’s no time like the present to push it up as quickly as you can manage, and you can always drop down a little if it’s too much. I agree with you about dogs. That’s the main reason I won’t get one even though I’ve really wanted one for years. I’m gone from 6:45 in the morning until at least 5:00, and my husband doesn’t have time to take away from his business to entertain the little pup, so it would basically be left alone all day. OK, now I’m the one who’s rambling on your thread, so I’ll stop. Anyway, it’s good to see you’ve set up your own space here on MWO

[Molly78]

Mentium, I also have the problem of early morning waking, in my case about 3am. I theorised that this was the point at which the previous day's bac left the system, so I altered my timings to try to make sure it was all gone by bedtime. So, last dose 4pm. I thought this was working, but last 2 days, awake at 3am again. Theory wrong, obviously. When I wake at this time, I take an additional 20mg bac, which puts me eventually puts me back to sleep til about 5.30am. This is acceptable in summer, not so much with the dark mornings. I am also taking 50mg quetiapine at night (which I read about on here), so obviously that's not working either, although again it seemed to initially. Back to the drawing board!

Early waking tends to happen as you get older anyway I'm afraid. You & I are same age.

Hope today is going well.

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Hi, Ment. So glad you started your own thread. It was extremely helpful for me. It's a great way to get support. And it's fun to look back and see how messed up it was in the beginning. Well, maybe fun isn't the right word. But interesting.

I never really suggest that people rush baclofen. It can lead to side effects. And perhaps the side effects are worse when things are rushed. I know they were for me. While not everything on this bac journey were on is unique, side effects definitely are obviously. I've seen more people quit because they rushed, rushed, rushed and couldn't take the SEs than I have for any other single reason.

Which stands to reason for another reason. It's hard to wrap the mind around not drinking for a living. Drinking for me wasn't optional so I think the fact that it took me four months to find indifference was partially due to getting used to the idea. That and the fact that I wasn't totally consistent about what I took and when. And also, it just takes what it takes.

It's VERY hard to back off when an intolerable side effect hits, too. Do you have a doctor you can turn to for things like sleep aids or other things that might come up? That's helpful.

Man, I wish I had a nice place to walk the pup. I keep trying to retrain my brain to enjoy the suburbs, but I just don't. And there aren't any woods around here, because, you know, it's the suburbs. Great that you walk your dogs for TWO HOURS. Wanna take mine?

Hope it's a good day!

[Mentium]

Thanks all for the comments. I'll take your advice on board re not rushing Ne and LIS. I do seem prone to SEs, which I didn't think I was at the beginning Just hadn't taken enough at that point I guess!

Ne - I don't have a friendly doctor I'm afraid. Our medical service is free here of course but it means you take what you get and in my case unless you want to wait weeks you see a different doctor every time pretty well. It isn't conducive to developing any sort of relationship with your so called 'named' doctor. And the surgery is a small rural practice which I suspect would strongly disapprove of the sort of self medicating we are dabbling with - as they would see it anyway. I can live with interrupted sleep for a while if that is what it takes.

The notion of getting used to being a non drinker is an interesting one too. It raises a couple of questions for me. I don't drink enough to have serious withdrawal symptoms, but when I do stop I don't sleep much the first night or two and then it improves. I also get antsy and crawly skin for two or three - maybe four days and feel uncomfortable in my skin, but then it wears off. I found myself wondering this morning how that works with 'indifference' when and if it hits. One surely has to withdraw at some stage?

Today has been tough. A touch of real life drama - in a small way anyway.

-----EDIT: Cut this after a bit of thought. It was a rather too long off-topic rant about my day, for which apologies-------------

Dash home and go straight to my bedside drawer and gulp 20 MG straight down..damn it should have been 30 I have just realised.

Anyway that was my baclofen afternoon. Thank you very much.

Amusing now it is over..every so slightly.

[nicnak68]

I bought a small round pill box with 3 compartments from eBay and I always make sure I take it with me everywhere I go and it helps me remember if I have taken my last dose or not.
You can buy ones with 4 compartments but to be honest I only have 2 of them filled because
I take my morning dose then fill up 2 compartments with my afternoon and evening doses

[Mentium]

Apologies for the long and rambling post above. It really was 'off topic' as they say. It was a long day and I still had a lot of nervous energy to get rid off!

End result of all that was I took 70 mg yesterday instead of 100. Hopefully back on track today.

[Lostinspace]

Mentium - Long rambles are welcome and encouraged There’s no need to apologize for or delete them. It’s YOUR thread. You don’t have to limit it to discussions about baclofen if you don't want to. God knows I didn’t do that on my thread. My baclofen journey was discussed, of course, but so was the rest of life. Baclofen, alone, is not going to cure us of everything that ails us, and part of sorting out the rest of life is to talk about our problems and get advice/encouragement/support along the way. I found it really helpful to not limit my thread to having a single purpose. The purpose of my thread is what it evolved to be over time, and it’s a lovely, supportive atmosphere where anyone can talk about anything.

[Mentium]

Noted for the future LIS! I hope you won't regret it! :exclaim: