My baclofen journey

[Mentium]

Thanks Ne. I already feel better having decided to stay at this level - maybe even drop 10 for a couple of days. The sense of alarm has abated thank goodness.

Sadly I don't have medical support other than the consultant I saw and who is very expensive! Our own GP surgery is a lottery and you see someone different every time, so the thought of explaining all this is rather too daunting and would in all likelihood be dismissed.

Not sure why SF is posting in my threads. I can't and won't read anything he writes on this forum.

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Hmmm. It might actually work to your benefit that you don't see the same person every time. You go in, tell 'em you're suffering from some short term anxiety and sleeplessness, and they give you a med or two. Voila.

Glad you're feeling better.

And there is no explaining the reasons for his actions. I'm pretty sure we've established that.

[Mentium]

Thanks for all the kind words both here and in the other current thread. Reduced the bac by 10 mg yesterday and either because of that or perhaps just relief to be backing away from the effects I was experiencing I slept a bit better, though I woke a couple of hours earlier that I would do normally. I drank about half of my usual amount last night which was a bit of an effort and that might explain the waking early of course. I've always associated a skin full of booze with a good night's sleep which is a stupid self imposed kind of myth. My breathing is still a bit dodgy but I feel a lot better. Oh, and to add to it I've had to run to the toilet for a couple of days!

I'll stick to this dose and give some serious thought about whether to continue this route over the next few days. I'm really not sure if I can do this if I go back to the territory I felt I was in for two or three days.

In the mean time I should hear from SMART in the next day or two. Whatever happens if there's a local or even regional group I'll definitely go..if they'll have me of course! This really does feel like a last chance given how long I've been drinking. The thought of never defeating the demon is just too depressing.

[Ne/Neva Eva]

It is very hard to make a decision when you're experiencing things that can likely be avoided in the future. Especially since they were so alarming!

Just sit tight and try to relax, Mentium. Many ways to skin this cat. (What a horrible saying! Ha!) Frankly, it's the biggest danger of rushing it, and why I keep trying to tell people to take it slow and steady. The SEs can be scary, though not dangerous unless one is really, really stupid about it. (Sorry, terryk. lol)

If you're still uncomfortable tomorrow, go down to 120mg. Find a place where you're not uncomfortable, and stay there. Not that I'm giving direction or anything, since we're really not supposed to do that. But whatever. I really hate to see you give up when there is a way to do this without harrowing side effects.

I hope you have a good and comfortable day, Mentium. I'll be thinking of you.

[Ne/Neva Eva]

You know what else, Mentium?

It took me three or four tries to get it right with baclofen. A big part of that was fear. The first time, I overdosed because I was an idiot and thought that I would go from 30mg to 75mg because I was on vacation. I was drinking like a fish, too. That ended very poorly and is a completely different story. But because of it, I had my first ever panic attack. That was in June 2010.

The second and third times, I was too worried about having a panic attack and my fear and anxiety kept me from getting much higher than 30mg. Every time I tried to take more, I experienced panic.

By late September, though, when yet another birthday rolled around and I was still a miserable drunk, I decided it was time to Just Do It. I'd been reading here for 9 months at that point. Gotten to know some people, just a tiny little bit. And THAT made all the difference.

I guess what I'm saying is that it doesn't have to be right now. Baclofen will always be here. It's been said by too many of us for you to not know that those of us who have achieved indifference think it's worth a great deal of discomfort. I would give up quite a lot to be in that position again, and will soon be.

That said, if this isn't the right time and place and space, it just isn't. And that's okay, too. Forcing it might be the worst thing you can do. It was for me.

[Spiritfree]

Ment -I will not mention this again, but I do hope that others will:
You are taking a powerful prescription medication that can be dangerous (Baclofen) for some.
I can only hope that others will advise you to seek medical oversight while taking Baclofen or stop taking the med. Sure, there are many that have no problem taking Baclofen without a doctor's oversight, but then there a few that experience 'real' problems.

Ment does not read my posts, but I know that some still do, and as such, please pass on the information to Ment regarding the possible dangers of Baclofen (without medical supervision).

[Mentium]

Thank you Ne. You have a big heart and it shows in your posts. The sense of panic you describe exactly mirrors how I felt the other night. Not only did I have a bunch of physical side effects going on -and I left out a few - but it felt like something deeply fundamental was going on. Not surprising I guess given that baclofen acts in some deep parts of the brain's chemistry. The combination of struggling to breathe comfortably, anxiety about some of the other symptoms and a very weird experience of not quite being the person I think I am in some rather strange and subtle way left me freaking out big time. The sense of panic was made worse by thinking I would have to put up with it until I had titrated down a few notches. Thus the sense of claustrophobia, something I'm prone to anyway. I can say though that I have rarely felt as weird. I'm surprised more hasn't been written about that, or perhaps I'm atypical

Anyway in the end I reduced my dose by 20 mg and I feel a whole lot better this evening. Remarkably so in fact. I hear what you are saying about taking things at the pace that suits and I will take that advice. Will stick at this dose for a while and think about how to move on in the next few days.

[_serenity_]

Mentium, that sounds like a great plan. Just stay where you are for the time being. When you are ready, you might want to take your titration much slower, maybe 5 mgs/week. I'm glad you're in a better place. :hug:

[Mentium]

Well I have made a decision after due consideration and sadly in some ways I have decided that baclofen is not for me. I am only speaking from my own personal experience and I certainly would not wish to put anyone else off, but there were a number of issues that make is wrong for me right now. The first was the impact on me, my psychology and the way it made me feel. My sense of self changed rather subtly and I felt something was happening at a deep level that was frightening me. Then there was the physical impact, including shortness of breath and quite a few other SEs as time went on. What also surprised me a little was a growing anxiety about what I had to do to get a supply and manage the whole thing, including lie to a consultant, contact companies in the Pacific and goodness knows where else for my 'supply' and anxiously count the number of pills I have stockpiled etc. etc. It made the experience anxiety provoking and actually very stressful for me - someone prone to anxiety to begin with.

It is clear that quite a few people here have used baclofen properly and wisely and have achieved effortless sobriety and they are a great example for others to follow. I think it is great. It makes me feel a little cowardly in fact that I don't seem to have it in me to follow the same trail. But there we go. I feel a lot calmer and more relaxed about the whole thing having made the decision. I feel sad too, because after reading The End of my Addiction I thought there was light at the end of the tunnel. I was naïve about how much effort it would take though.

I am in touch with SMART having recently discovered that they seem to have a presence in the north of England and I will attack the demon that is my alcohol addiction through them as a next step. In the mean time today is Day One of abstinence for me while I sort out the SMART thing.

I want to thank everyone who was so supportive. You are a great bunch! Oh - and I won't be going anywhere! Though I might post a bit more in the 'general' section.

And finally, have no fear - I am titrating down 10 mg every few days.

Thanks again!

[Stevo]

Good luck with whatever you choose Mentium.

[Molly78]

Best of luck - and I will be interested in your experience of baclofen plus no alcohol as you titrate down!

[Mentium]

There's a SMART meeting this Frida in Newcastle. Booked a place!

[Spiritfree]

Well I have made a decision after due consideration and sadly in some ways I have decided that baclofen is not for me.

I am in touch with SMART having recently discovered that they seem to have a presence in the north of England and I will attack the demon that is my alcohol addiction through them as a next step. In the mean time today is Day One of abstinence for me while I sort out the SMART thing. Thanks again!

Mentium -I certainly realize that you think that I am some kind of troll, or otherwise just a bad person in general -amd that is ok. Although Baclofen worked for me and still does to this day, I did become more of a continued believer in the fact that there are other more acceptable answers to AUD outside of Baclofen. To this day I still communicate with several people for whom Baclofen did not work (and I met them on this forum).

The medication section of the forum tends to only support Baclofen beginners or continued takers thereof, and, it was for this reason that I decided to try and stand for those many that Baclofen did/does not work.

I know that you will find a solution to your AUD situation -you are too stubborn not to. I wish you peace in finding your own way out -whatever that might entail.

[Mentium]

Made it through Day One! Phew!

[starty]

Hey Mentium WELL DONE for day one! I was sober for 6 years then relapsed and am now at almost 6 weeks. It has taken some time to get my mojo back but it is coming!! Even if you cannot use Bac there are lots of other tools that might help you. I hope we can see you over at general sometime. I find the inspiration there helps keep me on the wagon and not just on the wagon but happy too !