I have just got back from a work get together. Sober.
I have only been (virtually) AF for 2 years & during that time I have avoided social occasions such as this, feeling I could not face them. I gave excuses like it was too far - I do live a long way from my work base. Like many others on this forum, I spent decades medicating my social phobia with alcohol. A few years ago if I had to go to a work social I would pre load on vodka. I was over the limit before I got in the car, then I would take a bottle of juice laced with vodka to see me through the evening so that I could be seen to have just the two "permitted" units during the meal.
This occasion I couldn't avoid. "My" secretary is getting married & we had clubbed together to get her a present & arranged a meal to hand it over. This person took me in hand when I started the job 5 years ago & patiently saw me through the IT training needed. I remember her hilarity when I said "Don't tell me to do right click, my IT skills aren't that advanced." She not only helped me with right click but with cut & paste, entering data, removing it when incorrect, sending tasks, all the requirements of a new system which seemed overwhelming to an IT numpty like me. It's thanks to her that I can use the internet more efficiently, & even post on this forum. So I just had to go tonight. It was a 40 minute drive. I was not looking forward to any of it. It didn't help that some of the younger admin had car pooled so they were knocking back the wine & getting giggly & hysterical & basically just enjoying themselves. Half of me wished I could join them. The other half thought "Aren't drunk people boring?". I was ready to leave at 9pm but had to hang on til the bill was paid, & the first person said they had to go.
The drive home under a full moon on clear roads, with Classic FM on the radio was a joy. I saw blue flashing lights in my mirror at one time & actually briefly hoped they would stop me & breathalyse me, so I could have the satisfaction of being negative!
A first time, but now I have the confidence to do it again. Remains to be seen whether I will ever enjoy it.
I have only been (virtually) AF for 2 years & during that time I have avoided social occasions such as this, feeling I could not face them. I gave excuses like it was too far - I do live a long way from my work base. Like many others on this forum, I spent decades medicating my social phobia with alcohol. A few years ago if I had to go to a work social I would pre load on vodka. I was over the limit before I got in the car, then I would take a bottle of juice laced with vodka to see me through the evening so that I could be seen to have just the two "permitted" units during the meal.
This occasion I couldn't avoid. "My" secretary is getting married & we had clubbed together to get her a present & arranged a meal to hand it over. This person took me in hand when I started the job 5 years ago & patiently saw me through the IT training needed. I remember her hilarity when I said "Don't tell me to do right click, my IT skills aren't that advanced." She not only helped me with right click but with cut & paste, entering data, removing it when incorrect, sending tasks, all the requirements of a new system which seemed overwhelming to an IT numpty like me. It's thanks to her that I can use the internet more efficiently, & even post on this forum. So I just had to go tonight. It was a 40 minute drive. I was not looking forward to any of it. It didn't help that some of the younger admin had car pooled so they were knocking back the wine & getting giggly & hysterical & basically just enjoying themselves. Half of me wished I could join them. The other half thought "Aren't drunk people boring?". I was ready to leave at 9pm but had to hang on til the bill was paid, & the first person said they had to go.
The drive home under a full moon on clear roads, with Classic FM on the radio was a joy. I saw blue flashing lights in my mirror at one time & actually briefly hoped they would stop me & breathalyse me, so I could have the satisfaction of being negative!
A first time, but now I have the confidence to do it again. Remains to be seen whether I will ever enjoy it.
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