I am writing because I am terrified of going through DT's again (delirium tremens). I have been through treatment 3 times... I feel like an utter failure and hopeless. I tolerate wine so well that I have never had a hangover in my life. At one point I thought it was a blessing, but now I know it is a curse. I do calculus for 'fun' after drinking, learn better, think more clearly once I am drinking... feel more spiritual, can focus better. I have severe anxiety and PTSD issues, not trying to make excuses to drink and drown out the pain in my heart, but it is a reality for me. Alcohol deadens the pain in my heart and mind. I have been through withdrawl so many times that I know and realize how the brain becomes much more sensitive to GABA recepitors sensitivity to 'kindling' affect. If anyone has any advice I would appreciate it, especially from a medical standpoint. Detox is not really an option that i am likely to take, due to the fact they won't really admit you unless your B.A.C. is extremely high. I have been . 50 before and then they took me in, but I felt completely fine at that high of a B.A.C... my normal is .24. I know because I own a breathalyzer. I guess I am a 'functioning' alcoholic in some ways. Just am writing on the forum to ask anyone if they have experienced DT's before. They are the things nightmares are made of.
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This place is helpful but AA ignorance reigns ...their not into the science of addiction more a moral aspect and one day at a time ..for ever life suffering mind concept
There are better ways
The End Of My Addiction - Forum discussing Baclofen, Naltrexone and Other Medications for the Treatment of Alcohol DependenceLast edited by Robot; July 27, 2016, 07:19 AM. -
Hi Gsty and welcome. I think we all go through withdrawals of some sort to get sober, i know i certainly did. when i was drinking i woke with the DT's daily, i got to the stage where i could not even sign my own name in the mornings let alone write anything. Like yourself I thought al made everything better so i drank again. I hit the repeat button 7 days a week. I blamed my shaking on anxiety, stress, everything but al. when i drank i felt better, i could deal with life once again. What you think is what i used to think al did for me. The stark reality is that al gave me anxiety, it made me feel depressed, it gave me nothing that i wanted to live for until i stopped. An alcoholic will justify why they drink, i did but i dont now. I now know i can never drink again and i certainly dont want to.
I could write a book to justify why i drank and it would contain every excuse as to why, like all of us on MWO have done at one stage or another.
I called myself a functioning alcoholic to justify why i drank and at the end of the day i am an alcoholic.
I took valium for the first week when i gave up drinking but really if you are worried you should see your doctor if thats possible. Giving up al is a nightmare in itself for the first few weeks. We dont want to lose our best friend and our crutch but it will be the best decision you have ever made.
shortly i am celebrating 1000 days, when i first came on here i never ever thought i could live without al. My life is so much more fulfilling each and every day. I will never regret giving up al as long as i live.
Take good care of yourself. Head over to the newbies nest and say hi to everyone.AF free 1st December 2013 - 1st December 2022 - 9 years of freedomComment
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You need hospital if you are experiencing the DTs very few here have experienced that level of with drawing ....this site can't help you ...I suggest unless you can have some one help you taper ...go to ICU
You can never taper alone you need assistance ...do you have a freind that can help you taper ? Otherwise you know the d rill
Please take careLast edited by Robot; July 27, 2016, 07:11 AM.Comment
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Hi there! Woody here.... This is my first post on this forum, having just signed up earlier today, so am feeling equally nervous about saying hello.... Daft really, seeing as we are all strangers on the other end of the Interweb!
Just felt moved to reply, seeing as your post really struck a chord with me - you are almost describing the same thought processes that I go through on a daily basis..... Unfortunately I have no advice to offer you on the DT's, as I have only taken the first tentative steps towards addressing my own 10+ years of alcohol abuse in the last couple of days myself....
You have been through treatment 3 times, you say? I'd be interested to hear what you have tried, and your thoughts on what was good/bad about the methods used; what your experiences of treatment have been, and maybe what might have triggered you to fall off the Ol' Wagon again? I am a total 'noob' to all of this, but I have been reading extensively around addiction, treatments, anxiety disorders, brain circuitry and all that jazz..... It's fascinating stuff from an intellectual standpoint, but for me, actually putting the knowledge into practice and working on the emotional side of things is the really hard bit! :>)>
The fact that you do calculus for fun after a night on the sauce etc, totally chimes with me.... personally, I like to do a spot of electronic wiring or fiddly woodwork involving dangerous power tools, all while having the sort of BAC that would send any breathalyzer straight into the red! Thankfully I have never blown anything up (yet) and am still in possession of all of my digits (thus far), touch wood :>)> ....
When the fine motor control and eyesight starts to go, I generally leave the man-shed and sit up all night reading or writing, drinking quietly by myself until I pass out..... I too, feel the need to have a few drinks before I can actually focus and concentrate on something, as it finally quiets my mind, soothes the aches, and takes away the terrible anxiety which plagues me....
I feel that my own alcohol abuse is a 'symptom' of chronic untreated anxiety and depression and a broken circadian rhythm, possibly DSPD (I find it almost impossible to sleep during the hours of darkness, my usual sleep time being around dawn until early-mid afternoon).... However, when I recently saw a doctor for the first time in years, these issues were more-or-less brushed aside, as his sole focus was on the alcohol as the root of all of my problems - does this sound familiar to you at all?
While I accept that he may be partially right, and I am fully aware that the booze ultimately does nothing to help these conditions (and I now have a chemical dependency on ethanol to add to the list, yay! /s) I left with a long prescription for sertraline, benzos and B-vitamins, and a recommendation to seek out AA meetings, and undergo a 'detox' as an outpatient essentially.... Having read this back to myself, I wonder if this is the typical alkie justifying and minimising the behaviour and blaming everything but the drink.... See, this is helping already!
What I had been hoping for was a 'scrip for citalopram (which I used to take for the anxiety and depression, and which really helped - I am wary of sertraline as I have known many people who have had really bad side effects from it) and some melatonin supplements to help me reset the broken body clock, in the hope that then I could start to address and substantially reduce my drinking - but no such luck from that particular doctor..... I'd really love to try Baclofen, having read so much about it, but by the sounds of it, getting it prescribed for such a purpose here would be as rare as rocking-horse shit.... I am hoping to find a sympathetic doctor who I can charm into prescribing it, but maybe in the meantime I will try the cocktail of potions he prescribed, if I can persuade him to change the sertraline for citalopram.... It can't be any worse than chugging down a squillion units of booze a week.... can it?
Anyway, this has turned into damn nearly a novel, and sounds so self-indulgent (sorry) so I'll wrap it up now.... It does feel good to write stuff down and fling it out into cyberspace, hehe.... The thought of a face-to-face AA meeting, (for me, at the moment) is distinctly less appealing .... I'd love to hear your own thoughts/ experiences, and would welcome any comments from anyone else who has bothered to read this far!
With all best wishes,
Woody :>)>Comment
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What a awesome post woody thanks .
Can you post it here at this site ? Baclofen discussion more open than MWO
The End Of My Addiction - Forum discussing Baclofen, Naltrexone and Other Medications for the Treatment of Alcohol Dependence
Seems a better fitLast edited by Robot; July 27, 2016, 07:35 AM.Comment
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Welcome aboard, Gstyletto and Woody!
There are two really useful links in my signature line: The Newbie's Nest is a great place to get your sober legs and the Tool Box is full of useful tips and coping skills to help you thru the first challenging days and weeks. Like Available, that's where I got sober! She has some great advice above.
There has been a brew-ha-ha about the use of those meds (Baclofen and many others) on this site to the point where all the proponents of those drugs packed up and started their own site. Ironically, it hasn't been the end of their addiction. There really isn't a magic bullet to this other than NOT drinking. Getting sober is a skill, not a pill. I hope you will join us over in the Newbie's Nest!
All the best to you both!! Read and post!!! We're glad you found us! ByrdieComment
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Oh dear the Ignorant women needs to chime in .....what a idiot ...she's is....inviting you to the relapse thread ( newbies thread) don't buy this ignorance
Her smart comment as to they all pack up and it ain't the end of their addiction is a typicall moronic response from this ass hat .
Join us ignore the dark agesComment
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Hello there Byrdie and Robot, nice to 'meet' you! :>)>
Will definitely pop on over to the other site, and clamber unsteadily into the Newbie's nest at some point.... Am tentatively finding my feet with this whole posting-on-forums malarkey, so I tend to just mash all the keys and click everything until something happens (famous last words? lol)... Hopefully folks can forgive any inadvertent clumsiness on my part!
I must say it's lovely to receive such a warm welcome - many thanks!
Woody :>)>Comment
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PS - Robot, hahaha, I appreciate the cut of your jib Sir (or Madam etc) :>)>
I take it that you two know each other well, and that the comments are intended in the spirit of lighthearted ribbing?
Just checking! ;>)> WComment
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Sadly, no....Robot is here under another name, most likely having gotten asked to leave by MWO. You will notice he/she knows an awful lot about us here to only have 10 posts. If this site were so bad, why does he/she return? I have found from experience all you need to do to know whether or not someone is full of spit around here is to ask them how long they have been sober. That usually makes for a short conversation because those that can't do it, keep telling us that can how we are doing it wrong. Available has nearly 1000 days sober and I have 2016 days.Originally posted by Woody Woods View Post
You are a grown up and certainly able to choose the right path for yourself.... there are very few things in life that come easy and overcoming addiction is one of them. We'll be here when you need us! All the best, ByrdieComment
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No
I'm here and very much sober some of us don't count days like children .... the problem with the bird shit lady she hates every one that doesn't accept her view on addiction
Don't believe her bileLast edited by Robot; July 27, 2016, 09:38 AM.Comment
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Hi Style and Woody welcome,
I'm not one to give any advice but I'm on day 18 alcohol free because of this site I've been sober for longer than any other time in my 20+ years of drinking. You both have made the first step but I understand you not wanting to go through that first week it is hard. I too was a functioning alcoholic, so I thought just I wasn't functioning. One of the reasons I haven't drank is I don't want to go back to that first week (to be honest I've done it a few times) please use the link at the bottom of Byrdies post to get to the toolbox. It has some great resources and head over to the newbie nest. Read people's stories and no that your not alone.
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