Chief you said these words we undestand all too well:
people here who have gone weeks,months AF and THEY cave so what makes you think you're different?"
yes, we fall down....but we don't stay that way anymore. (we includes you now buddy) so lets say for example you go 10 days then blow it and drink. hey...that's 10 glorious days of no hangovers and no beating yourself up! then you get back on the program and maybe go 10 or 15 days the next time. Sometimes we must fail our way to success...just like in business. If you say "well the carpet cleaning biz didn' work so screw it....I'm going to be homeless" . NO! same thing. it's ok to fail. learn, get up and fight.
FIGHT!
at times like this when you are having a really crappy time take a couple teaspoons of L-Glutamine powder in fruit juice...helps a lot for me.
Hang in there
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