I COULD SEE THE END BUT IT ALL CRASHED DOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[gabby]

I COULD SEE THE END BUT IT ALL CRASHED DOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

There are several couples here that one spouse doesnt drink at all.

[gabby]

I COULD SEE THE END BUT IT ALL CRASHED DOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bob's wife......private message me anytime you would like and even I would call you on the phone too. I have verizon.

[southernbelle47]

I COULD SEE THE END BUT IT ALL CRASHED DOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hi Mrs.Pro!
My name is Nancy and it is very nice to "meet" you.
I came to this site last year for the very same reason your husband did.
I was drinking too much and after looking around for some "real" world help, I found RJ'S book and then this community.

We are a very diverse group from all oveer the world.
I'm from Alabama and my hubby and I have been married 42 years.
We now live on our "farm" and grow organic veggies and lots of flowers.

I think there is a spot in each one of us that needs to be "filled" and as you mentioned, we can't fill it for our spouses.
You sound like you have found friends and family and things to help fill your spot.
Do you think you could ..just for today...be thankful that Bob is not drinking...just today?
We want you included in this community too.
It's easy to do and other couples do it.
They find the support they BOTH need and understanding ...
I would love for my hubby to spend some time here but he has other things that he likes to do and being online is not fun for him.
Anywho.....:welcome: and please stay in touch.
:h Nancy

[southernbelle47]

I COULD SEE THE END BUT IT ALL CRASHED DOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Also ...what Gabby said......

[propartychief]

I COULD SEE THE END BUT IT ALL CRASHED DOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Cindy,
It's clear to everyone that this isn't his first attempt, right. I'm not the bad guy for finally saying enough is enough. He's always been sincere with his attempts. I know he loves me and I love him. I just don't know if I can live with it anymore. I'll always want what's best for him and will do everything I can to help him succeed in all aspects of his life as long as it doesn't weigh me down anymore. I'm only human, flawed and damaged by all this. I hope that it is being stressed that he has to do this for himself not just to keep me. He needs this for his life and for his children. If it makes him a less angry and better functioning husband than keeping the marriage will be the icing on the cake not the main course.

[gabby]

I COULD SEE THE END BUT IT ALL CRASHED DOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hi Bobs wife. This is a new attempt tho. Let him try again. I dont blame you on the enough is enough. And I wouldnt say to wait forever either. It seems like you guys are younger. And it seems like he is really professing his desire for you to know that he wants to try. I had a husband that didnt want to try. None of these type of attemts were ever there. I would have given anything if they were.

[Cinders]

I COULD SEE THE END BUT IT ALL CRASHED DOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

PPC's wife,

Oh yes. Many of us have stressed to him that getting sober is step 1. He cannot hinge it on your marriage or anything else. It has to be for him first and foremost. Otherwise, it has no meaning.

However, all of us who are married and/or with children know what our wives/husbands/families have had to deal with and we also want to quit drinking for them, too. There is much guilt wrapped up in the whole package.

Like Gabby and SouthernBelle, you are more than welcome to pm me.

Also, no, you are definitely not "the bad guy" in this at all. No one here thinks that, I believe. We all know what you have gone through over the years because we have all done it to our families, too.

Cindi

[gabby]

I COULD SEE THE END BUT IT ALL CRASHED DOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If you are both tryin......there are no bad guys at all.

And I think its natural to want to give up at times. But its what you DO that counts.

[southernbelle47]

I COULD SEE THE END BUT IT ALL CRASHED DOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A "bad guy" would not have hung around as long as you have!
There IS Hope!
Nancy

[Chief]

I COULD SEE THE END BUT IT ALL CRASHED DOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Welcome to the site that has changed the lives of many.. I believe Bob is sincere and realizes this is his last shot or he will lose everything. I'm so glad you are talking Mrs. Pro because we are here for you as much as Bob. If you truely want him sober then your support is critical. We all know you've heard it before from Bob that he's going to quit, but doesn't there seem to be something a little different this time? Please keep reading and posting and talking to Bob to achieve a common goal. Lets' tackle the Booze Beast first and then you can address other issues. You can PM me anytime... Don

[Guest]

I COULD SEE THE END BUT IT ALL CRASHED DOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

For Bob and wife:

I understand what you`re saying, that it seems to you that your husband is trading one addiction for another, and that may very well be true of us all initially. But, as Bob has said he`s explored other avenues to no avail in the past to quit drinking. He has posted that he really believes that M.W.O. will see him triumph........just look at all the success stories of some of the earlier members here, and please.........allow him this chance and support him and help him become the good husband and father he so wants to be.

As time goes on and Bob gets well, he will spend less time here. However, I`d like to think that even when I have been sober for a long time, that I will continue to visit the site, to see how everyone is doing........I also think we have a certain responsibility to never forget the site and people which helped us to become sober and log in periodically to give encouragement to people just starting out on the difficult road to sobriety which we have travelled before them.

Am only recently sober..........23 days, but as gabby said.........we`re all just normal, like yourself......nothing extraordinary, just mums, wives, girlfriends, leading very normal lives.
I didn`t think I would stop drinking, but M.W.O. works, just as long as anyone puts their all into it..........your husband is willing to do just that.

Bob becoming sober will not make "everything in your garden rosy", for sobriety cannot do that for any of us. What sobriety can do is afford you the clear-headed, attentive husband with whom you can work through any other issues you may have within the marriage.

I hope we have helped you understand us, and just how precious this site is to all us addicted...........I NEED this site and its members to become well.........so too does your husband.

I wish you much love and strength.

Starlight Impress x

[toughintexas]

I COULD SEE THE END BUT IT ALL CRASHED DOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hi Mrs. Pro, I too, am just a normal person, trying to cut down, and out my intake.... the first time Bob came on, he was all about how much his family meant to him....its funny, but I too, was married to an alcoholic years ago, and I never over-inbided ever, back then...I totally understand having the yoke around your neck and feeling like you are the only one pulling the cart...I had 2 small childern, and was working hard to get ahead in my career....I too said, "enough is enough", back then, we just had counselors and AA at our fingertips...he did go, and has remained sober to this day, we just really weren't meant for each other period, but we are friends to date....you married Bob as a "drunk" apparently...because he's told us he has drank since age 11...so Bob as a sober person, is probably quite different, and a bit scary, that was my experience...and yes, an addictive personality, is just that, gambling, sex, whatever....BUT....isn't this THE MOST POSITIVE ADDICTION he's displayed?????...... It's true we all have to tame our own demons, you can't have anyone FIX them, except yourself...ditto, if you aren't happy with yourself, nobody else can MAKE you happy either...I always say that marriage is a great addition to an already Happy Relationship, one you have with yourself...took me a long time to learn that, and the hard way naturally! We are here for you also, I totally understand where you are, and feel your pain too, but give Bob a chance, this time, on this "treatment plan" and look at being obsessed with being sober, a positive...I truly believe he is sincere this time....get you a screen name, and log on with us, ya'll can fight over who has the 'puter and not the beer! Love you both, you are in my heart, and prayers, and you can e-mail me at my reg. e-mail address anytime, splashes@hughes.net...and if you do, I'll give you my number too....you guys hang in there, for your kids......xoxoxo

[janka]

I COULD SEE THE END BUT IT ALL CRASHED DOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dearest Mrs. Pro -- this place is a blessing to all of us ... look how all of the angels, beautiful people from around the world would not and could not let Bob fall last night and are looking out for both of you today ... probably tomorrow, etc. They, we, embrace you too. I pray you give your husband a loving and encouraging and soothing hug and chance, because this chance and all this suffering you have both shared may, in fact, be the best entry into a great gift of love for both of you and your children. God Bless!

[janka]

I COULD SEE THE END BUT IT ALL CRASHED DOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

One more thing Mrs. Pro. --I was in a similar situation as yours 20-28 years ago when my husband drank to the hilt, was irresponsible, mean, cruel, etc. and I must say I never gave him ultimatums, threats and I tried to embrace and encourage him to sobriety and even moderation. Well ... guess what? HE HAS been sober for 20 years now, while I goody goody that I was, have been drinking myself for the past 5 years. WELL ... he gives me ultimatums, draws up divorce papers, threatens me, says this is the last time, never offers encouragement, etc., etc. Well ... guess what? ... I sometimes felt so awful, so bad, I would essentially say to myself: it doesn't matter if I drink anyway, so I will, I did to ease the pain. By the way, I have two beautiful teen children and a demanding job. AA, hospitals, psychiatrists didn't work for me -- I tried all. Please open up! You will find comfort here, I know he does as well all do. Good luck and God Bless

[Hannah]

I COULD SEE THE END BUT IT ALL CRASHED DOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

To "Mrs. Bob" again

Thank you so much for replying. I hope you have read enough of the posts to realize that this site is not just Bob's thing, but a site for both of you. Please, please use it - it can be very helpful for both of you, and help to draw you together, not tear you apart. As many others have offered, you are welcome to pm me anytime, anything I can do to help both of you, I am more than happy to do. Take care, and hope to see both of you on the boards. Good luck, and God Bless.