I COULD SEE THE END BUT IT ALL CRASHED DOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Guest]

I COULD SEE THE END BUT IT ALL CRASHED DOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yes Bob......it`s very much "give and take here"............don`t know how I`d be managing this AF mission without my internet "family" either.

Starlight Impress x

[happycamper68]

I COULD SEE THE END BUT IT ALL CRASHED DOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I think having an alcoholic father I understand where Hannah is coming from. My father was so self absorbed in his drinking, and then when he quit, he had to focus all his energies on staying sober, it was constant selfishness. He was what i call a "dry drunk". Still a big jerk.

I can understand Hannah's frustration and waiting and wondering when it is going to finally be her turn to not have to deal with everything after sticking my him this whole time, and to be afraid of the unknown. My mom always had to deal with everything.

Hannah I would suggest as others have to become more involved in the site if your hubby wants you to be so you can understand him better. We've all got the same issues here and someone that doesn't have a drinking problem has trouble even understanding how that could happen to a person in the first place. I for one swore this would never happen to me after my dad destroyed our family but yet here I am. I really hope you guys can work things out. I mean, it's gotta be better now than when he was drinking and he adores you. Sounds like he needs to show it to you instead of telling us all the time. PC you need to take your wife somewhere nice! :h

[propartychief]

I COULD SEE THE END BUT IT ALL CRASHED DOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Happy,
First she is not Hanna.(until she get's her own handle let's call Mrs. Prop she seems to get a kick out of that) But that is ok. You are right she has carried the load all of our marriage.
And now that I have found some calirty in my life it makes me feel like shit!!! I do LOVE her so much!! But I have have hurt her I can never take that away. I can only hope that my actions from this point foward will prove it to her! She has said that she sees how hard I am working at this but I have tried before. (Just not with the support that I have now)
And I want to do somthing "for" her or "with" her but at this point she is not willing.
Can't say I really blame her!!
P.S. congrats on the phone call for work
LOVE and RESPECTS

Bob

[Finding My Self]

I COULD SEE THE END BUT IT ALL CRASHED DOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dear Mr and Mrs Prop

It's so easy to blase one's way through by saying it'll all be alright. Seeing the sh*t is cringe-making. Truly awful. But I think it's is only beyond that that the healing lies...

Stick with it. This is darning a hole in your marriage - a large hole that takes some time and skill. Like a talented needleworker makes the garment durable, fully functional and comfortable again, your marriage can be strong, durable and happy if your love carries you through the darning process. (And a good darn looks beautiful I think - shows love and tenderness towards something rather than throwing it in the bin...)

Then, ignore the darn and focus on the whole (sic!) beautiful garment and wear it with pride and joy for a long time to come.

Blessings to you both. :l

Finding

[Niblet]

I COULD SEE THE END BUT IT ALL CRASHED DOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

As you move through this day take one step at a time knowing that we are all walking the same walk my friend... Mrs. Prop you know you have a man that loves you very much and that has got to feel soo awesome for you... Have a great day Mrs. Prop and Bob ! Hugs,

[Arial]

I COULD SEE THE END BUT IT ALL CRASHED DOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hi Bob and Mrs. Prop - I'm really sorry about the hard time you're facing right now and I know it's not going to be resolved quickly or easily - it will take strength, understanding, patience and forgiveness if possible - and time - to rebuild the foundations for the future and reestablish trust....

Having been on both sides of the fence (married to an alcoholic for 16 years and then having developed a drinking problem of my own) I really feel for both of you (and the children). I so hope that time can be the healer it always promises to be as you, Bob, continue this wonderful journey that you now seem so committed to. You're doing brilliantly, and as everyone says - it gets easier !

I wish you both the very best of luck, and I hope you start to see a clearing in the cloud soon - remember you've got to get through the rain before you see the rainbow...

Warmest wishes,

[propartychief]

I COULD SEE THE END BUT IT ALL CRASHED DOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks ARIEL,
Can see a twinkle in the clouds.
Doing OK with AF day 6.
We will see how it go's from here.

Bob

[ECHOME]

I COULD SEE THE END BUT IT ALL CRASHED DOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hold your wife close to you. tell her her she is the love of your life. She is also going through the pain of your drinking and trying to stop. Tell her you love her. YOU can do it.ECHOME

[Cashregister]

I COULD SEE THE END BUT IT ALL CRASHED DOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Drinking is a family affair...no-one goes unharmed. Take it easy you guys...and try and be kind to yourselves and each other. My Mum was a drinker (still is at 72) and I know how horrible it is to live with an alcoholic that you love dearly. It's watching them harm themselves that's the hardest. It made me so angry, and then I felt guilty for feeling angray.

I will not do this to my child.

Best wishes

Cashy
x

[corky]

I COULD SEE THE END BUT IT ALL CRASHED DOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hi Bob and Mrs. Prop -
I'm new here. I have been abusing alcohol for 20+ years. It has always been a struggle for me not to overdrink and although I've told myself time and time again I wasn't going to drink during the week, only socially, on weekends or special events, and no more than 2 drinks, and never alone, I haven't been able to accomplish that for extended periods of time. I have embarrassed my husband and daughter at times and caused them great concern. I as many on this site tried AA a couple times. UGH! Talk about depressing. I recently found out it has a 13% success rate. I have asked multiple docs over the years if there was something that would help me control the craving for alcohol and they all (as recently as last week)say no and offer antabuse. I am so excited to find this site. I happened upon it by accident even though I have looked online once in awhile for the last 2 years for a support group.Mrs. Prop, this is a new approach that most of the medical field don't seem to know about. The doc I visited last week (general check up) has no idea of the medications that are now available to help those of us control our craving. To those that don't drink as we do, it seems like it is a simple choice. Just use self control and stop. WOW! I would love it if it were so simple. I have a lot of self control in most other areas of my life, why not with alcohol? I don't get drunk very often and never intentionally and I take care of my family and meet daily requirements without difficulty, but it is SO VERY DIFFICULT not to have a couple glasses of wine each night. So, I guess what I'm trying to say is that for those of us who have struggled with this beast so long, it is encouraging to have a plan of action with supplements, meds if we want to try them, and people who we can really talk to because we don't have to put a face to the name and worry if we fail they will see us. I don't know about you, but I am never quite comfortable letting someone know my story if I have to look them in the eye. It's too painful. Here we have anonymity. It's freeing. So, hopefully, this program will be the help we have been seeking for so long and shame on the medical field that we are not more up to date and better informed so we have to find it on our own! Bob, I pray for all of us that this is the solution and I know we still have a lot of hard work ahead, but at long last it looks like we all have a chance for taming our beasts. Peace and love to you both. Mrs. P - I can empathize with you and what you have to struggle with. You are obviously a strong and caring women and I hope this site gives you hope and support as well. I applaud you for giving it a chance.