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    #1

    back to square one

    Hi

    I started to visit these boards back at the beginning of May when i realised i needed to do something about my drinking. I was fine and AF all of May, June and July and then about 3 weeks ago i started with AF wine and then went back onto the vodka. Nowhere near as bad as before but i know if i carry on it will get worse and ill be back with the blackouts. I tried Kudzu and they worked for me but i stopped taking them when the bottle was empty. I feel so ashamed my daughter found the half bottle under my mattress. I need to start again but feel so let down by myself. Need all the support i can get.
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    #2
    back to square one

    Hi Juney -- don't be so hard on yourself. You are here now where all are willing to help and inspire you. Remember you had 3 months AF -- that's HUGE! Congratulations! So you are surely capable, if willing, to do it again. A relapse is sometimes necessary to get back on track. Welcome back and we all embrace you.

    ps. I am new here, but AF 5 days now, and surely understand the sorrow you must feel about your daughter finding your bottle. I have 2 children, teens now, who have found mine and when I think of those instances, my heart breaks yet again and again. BUT these reminders also propel to do better for myself and them -- improvement not perfection necessarily. Take good care
    Cuckoo for Cocoa Puff!!!

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      #3
      back to square one

      Juney, I am a big believer in focusing on what you have accomplished and work from there. Buy more Kudzu if it helped, post more here if that will help. Have you tried the hypnotherapy CDs? They are very helpful. You did THREE MONTHS AF!!!! That is really amazing. Focus on it and find your way back!!! Wishing you the best!
      I'm really easy to get along with once people learn to worship me

      Comment

        #4
        back to square one

        juney,
        Why be so down on yourself?........you`ve had a marvellous AF run and the kudzu was effective for you. So, get yourself another lot of kudzu and get back to where you know you truly want to be.

        Love and strength to you,

        Starlight Impress x

        Comment

          #5
          back to square one

          Juney - you're here...That's great. Put it behind you and look forwards. Looking backwards leads to the bottle....guilt is a treacherous thing which we can't indulge in. Regret and now face forwards.

          Welcome and see you very soon.

          Love Finding x:l
          :heart: c: :heart:
          "Be patient and gentle with yourself - the magic is in you."

          Comment

            #6
            back to square one

            Juney, ditto what Starlight said.
            The furture lies before you like newly fallen snow - be careful how you tread it, for every step will show.

            Comment

              #7
              back to square one

              Juney, try your hardest, that's all you can do right now.

              Don't be too hard on yourself.

              :l Kitty
              Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall.
              Confucius

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                #8
                back to square one

                well, i feel kinda stupid steppin' in here because i'm only 3 days in but i did go AF for 2 years, 3 years ago. don't let a stumble like this make you feel guilty. you can definitely do this. just keep coming back here, i do every night and sometimes during the day. i like it, better than doing it alone like i did before.

                i have blackouts too...i hate that...absolutely no memory when i was totally conscious. especially when people i was with had no idea i was even drinking because i had my bike water bottle full of vodka in my purse...jeez.

                you can get back on track...go!!!

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                  #9
                  back to square one

                  Hi Juney,

                  I was new here in Jan 2007, I did well the first few months then I got cocky. I was af for 3 months then started moderating and all went to hell after that. I have been drinking heavy again for the last 4 months. I am back to a at least 60oz of whiskey a week. Tonite it all broke, I had an argument with my oldest son and flew out the door (drunk) and got into the vehicle to leave. My husband came flying out of the house and stopped me and said we really have to talk. I am very lucky my husband is very supportive and is always trying to help me with my drinking problem. I have come to blows with a lot of my problems tonite. I realize I need to come back to MWO to get the help I need. I left thinking allwas fine, but I was only fooling myself. I was doing very well on this web site before leaving and thinking all was fine. I never got the book or went on the supplements, but am now thinking I should have. I am probably not on the right thread for this, but had to get this off my chest. I really need help and am going to get councilling as well as keep coming on this site.
                  Thank you,
                  Lana
                  "What I do today is important because I am exchanging a day of my life for it."
                  Catherine Pulsifer

                  Comment

                    #10
                    back to square one

                    Juney and Momof2Boys,

                    It sounds like you both know you have to get back into the saddle and are doing that. :goodjob:

                    From someone who really really struggles with any day AF, I am impressed with both your stories.

                    Jump back in, welcome back and congratulations for recognizing what you need to do.

                    Cindi
                    AF April 9, 2016

                    Comment

                      #11
                      back to square one

                      Juney and Momof2boys,

                      You are not far from getting back on track. You know how to do it. Embrace all the aspects of this program that you think will work for you and post often. Go for it!
                      Rob2
                      Develop success from failures. Discouragement and failure are two of the surest stepping stones to success.--- Dale Carnegie

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                        #12
                        back to square one

                        Juney....from where I'm standing 3 months AF looks simply stupendous! You did it once....you can do it again and better
                        Just hand me the chocolate and.........I'll consider my position. My solicitor has advised me to say no more than that.

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                          #13
                          back to square one

                          this may be the wrong thread for this but i've been doing a little internet research about the kudzu. it appears...at least to me...that it 'regulates' your drinking - keeps you from drinking as much. any feedback on that? i'm really interested in not drinking AT ALL...something that will remove the initial craving from 4-7 p.m. i swear, can't that be NAPTIME for lushes??? that was my daughter's summertime diet - SLEEP through two meals. i guess i'm thinking of getting the topa stuff from my doctor. only ate about 10 malted milk balls today...okay, each one was about the size of a golf ball, i'll be honest here.

                          Comment

                            #14
                            back to square one

                            Natasha,

                            Kudzu doesn't seem to help me. It just allowed me to get drunk faster, which I really liked.

                            Others find it very helpful with the cravings, though.

                            It didn't help with the cravings at all. The L-Glut does seem to help a bit, though.

                            I hate the witching hours, too. Very hard to get past after a long day of work, since most of us are then looking forward to "relaxing" at that time.

                            You made me laugh about the malted milk balls. Perhaps you might consider strawberries (not dipped in chocolate) or some other fruit? Just a thought...

                            Whatever works for you, though, use it.

                            Best of luck,
                            Cindi
                            AF April 9, 2016

                            Comment

                              #15
                              back to square one

                              Momof2boys,
                              You went AF for a whole 3 mths before says you can damn well do it again!!!

                              Love and strength to you,

                              Starlight Impress x

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