Last Night

[janka]

Hi again, i drank last night ... haven't told anyone about the divorce papers, until yesterday -- it told everyone! Feel like crap ... drank rum & cokes and screwdrivers (not beer) ... and wish i hadn't

[meditation mama]

Last Night

Janka, sweetie... I'm so sorry you are going through this right now. Please, please be kind to yourself right now. It is really important that you take care of YOURSELF right now. We are here. Get some rest today, some healthy food and drink lots of water. Do you have any supplements?

MM

[janka]

Last Night

hi mm -- i take multivitamins and biotin ... i did it on purpose, hope fully he really has no clue ... my son does (yuk) ... i am exhausted and all i want to do is go to sleep

[meditation mama]

Last Night

Janka-- our wonderful children are wonderfully resilient - how old is he? Can you back to bed for a while? Today is a new day... I really beieve is taking supplements to help with getting through stressful times, whether you decide to go AF, of just cut down. If you want some suggestions, just let me know...

get some rest..

MM

[janka]

Last Night

mm -- my son is 17 ... he was mad at me, but seems ok now. i'm glad i had almost 14 days under my belt ... i guess a relapse was inevitable ... i wanted to go af 21 days ,,, now need to start over, but 13/14 af days means i was sober 93% of the time over the past 2 weeks ... that's pretty good i guess

[meditation mama]

Last Night

That's fantastic! Just hop back on. You know one thing I learned when it comes to my daughter is not to try and overjustify. You are going to get right back on track, show him with actions and you will feel better... BTW.. It takes 15 days for alcohol to leave your system, so after that it gets easier. You can do this!!! You plowed the ground all the way there this time so it will be easier going now...

[janka]

Last Night

thanks mm -- in a "normal" household, what i did last night would not be so terribly wrong .. i told my son what i did last night was wrong and stupid and not to jab at me ... i know he loves me, but the jabs (like from his father) kill me

[meditation mama]

Last Night

Take care of yourself... stay in touch... xoxoxox

[Guest]

Last Night

Am sorry you slipped Janka, but please don`t allow you drinking last night to make you feel bad about yourself.

Only present and future truly matter.......make a commitment to yourself that you won`t drink tonight.......that you won`t drink from now on, in fact. Divorce is painful, as are so many things that befall us in life, but drinking cannot change a thing.

You`ll come through the divorce and you`ll stop hurting and begin to heal. Allow that healing to start right this very moment by staying off the booze. Do not allow him to upset you to such an extent that you are robbed of an AF run by seeking comfort in the bottle.........he is so not worth that.

Learn to love yourself, janka, and take good care of yourself.

Love and strength to you,

Starlight Impress x

[janka]

Last Night

thanks star, i am SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO tired. i really would like to sleep, but cannot ... i'm ttired of cleaning up all the messes around here and am sorry that it is I who turned into a mess, really. i am pretty straight. a very good girl ... it such a shame

[Cinders]

Last Night

Janka,

Hang in there. Treat yourself especially well today, physically and mentally and get back on track.

Hugs,
Cindi

[janka]

Last Night

star, how do you do it? i drink to be defiant most of the time ... i get so angry ... i do not want to be responsible for everyone here all of the time ... my job here is to take care of my kids, their souls really ... he cannot do that ... he can take them to a Yankee game and out to eat, but has no emotional substance whatsoever

[Chief]

Last Night

Listen to Star...

Who is responsible for what you put in your mouth? Do your husband's actions MAKE you drink? Do you want to give him that power, or are you in control? Tough questions, I know, but you are in a tough situation. Don't make it harder than it is. I'm not trying to make light of it but plenty of people go through divorce without leaning on the bottle. This is the time for you to step up. You don't want to do anything to give your husband additional ammo or power. Be the strong woman you know you are. This is classic Beast Bullshit- it will use any situation to get you to drink, and it worked....this time. Get up, dust yourself off and get back in the ring. We are here for you, Janka. Show your son the right way to handle stress... Don

[janka]

Last Night

thanks chief ... i know very well how to handle stress ( have done it for very long time, most of which i was sober) ... i guess i am overtired ... and you are right, no one can make me drink, except myself ... i am just so flipping angry but want to go to sleep and cannot, am so disgusted much of the time

[Guest]

Last Night

Janka,
Use your defiance productively.........invest all that energy in NOT drinking,as opposed to drinking..........tell yourself that you are achieving nothing by drinking, other than upsetting your kids and yourself, and allowing your hubby to say about you to everyone, "see, I told you so, that`s what she`s like......a drunk".

How did I do it, janka ?............by sheer defiance...suddenly I refused to conform to the mental image I had of myself as "starlight the drunk"...........I had begun to hate myself, and suddenly said NO MORE!!!

Use your defiant streak to set yourself free, janka............you`re worth it....we`re all worth it......that`s what brought us here.......our worthiness as human beings.

Starlight Impress x