Last Night

[janka]

Last Night

star, i know .. i am extremely rebellious and defiant ... i am certain i can do this, but iam just too disgusted right now ... i cannot believe i have had such bad judgement in choosing him, my kids are half him ... it makes me sick as i adore them more than anything ... i do not want them to be hollow, dispassionate human beings

[charlee]

Last Night

Janka
Just wanted you to know I am thinkin' of ya...I hope you can let yesterday's drinking go and focus on your 93% (You should be very proud of that). You will need all the strength you have to deal with whatever is ahead. Try to get outside and enjoy these last few days of summer with your son...he'll be grown before you know it.

[janka]

Last Night

thanks charlee ... hope you are well. my son ( the "gypsy" i call him) is going to the beach with his buddies, which is a good thing and i like for him to be busy and enjoy life, same for my baby girl ... they know the real story here, and my hubby will be the one who loses, big time ... i just need to get through it

[Breez]

Last Night

Hi janka-

yesterday is gone forever so there is no point in wasting precious time being ashamed or guilty. Today you are AF. You did 2 weeks and that's great. So you know you can do it. Be kind to yourself. By drinking you're only hurting yourself & the people around you that love you-not your husband. Don't let him take away your spirit. Concentrate on wonderful you.

In early sobriety you have to be selfish. You need to get better, you come first. Don't forget that. By being selfish in the beginning you are only bettering yourself for a happy, healthy future. So concentrate on you. Now go take a rest-the house won't fall apart if you take an hr break!

[Mags]

Last Night

Janka
I'm so sorry I missed you this morning. I hope you had a nice nap this afternoon and are feeling a little better. What Chief and Breez and everyone else said is right. Don't dwell on past mistakes. Now is now and every moment is the opportunity to make the right decision. Times are very, very tough for you right now. Don't make them worse by sliding back into the bottle. You know how much I care for you. Just call on us before you take the next sip.

:l

[meditation mama]

Last Night

Hi, darlin'.. how are you feeling.. check in when you can. Thinking of you!

[julie001]

Last Night

Janka,

You're being very tough on yourself. You went two weeks AF! That is hugely impressive!! And that was during the annnouncement of divorce! You will feel better about your circumstances, I promise. Divorce is devastating. As trite as it sounds, time heals all wounds. I went through a divorce a little over seven years ago. I never thought life would get better. It took awhile, but it did. Now when I think of my ex-husband, I no longer feel a connection--good or bad. We get along well, all things considered. I never a bad-mouthed him to my kids (although I am sure he did). Take the high road. You'll feel so much better doing that. You're facing your most difficult days right now because you not divorced yet. Your life is kinda in limbo. Hang in there. Take it one day at a time. Drink lots and lots of water, and let us know how you're doing.

Julie

[MyHeartIsDrenchedInWine]

Last Night

Hi Janka,

I can relate. I have two boys ages 14 & 17 and my 18 year marriage is in deep trouble. My husband also seems to be without a soul. He has serious mental health problems, Lithium has helped tremendously but sometimes it feels like it's a day late and a dollar short. I'm all worn out, ya know? Anyway, I just wanted you to know you are not the only one! I guess pain is pain and we don't want to face it but maybe we can be strong and embrace it. The alcohol only helps in the short run, we've got to look at the big picture. Be strong my dear, I'll be thinking of you.

[janka]

Last Night

Thanks and sorry ... i drank again last night ... feel very guilty and am afraid ... i nearly had 2 weeks af and blew it ... i do not want to blow it again ... i am very anxious and feel like a jerk

[Suzanna]

Last Night

Janka, I am feeling for you, sweetie. Let today be the new day. We get as many chances as there are days. Love yourself right now, you can do it because you did it before.:h Suz

[uda]

Last Night

Janka,

I really feel for you and can understand how angry you are feeling with your husband. And you seem to be feeling even more angry with yourself. You're human and you didn't chose him because he's got no emotional depth but because you didn't know. We all make mistakes.

Defy him by showing him that no matter how little he cares for you, you know you are a person worth taking care of by taking care of yourself.

No matter how many tries it takes, never give up giving up and never give up on yourself.

Sending you lots of positive thoughts and buckets of strength

[Finding My Self]

Last Night

Janka - you'll never blow those two weeks AF; they really happened and you will do them again. You will. Beating yourself up is a kind of habit too.... well, it is in me! Stop that and AF comes easier... soooh hard but it works.

In sailing, for safety (because if you don't do this and keep fretting about a mistake, something new can be overlooked that is really dangerous to the boat and crew) we say


CANCEL AND PROCEED

So, cancel and proceed with us by your side and your great inner strength that IS there and go forwards with a clear head AF.

Love and hugs and determination
Finding xx

[look]

Last Night

Hi Janka,so sorry you slipped, it does happen.Don't think on it very much.Jump rite back on the wagon.Going af after one slip is alot easier than starting fresh.you know we're here for you! keep posting & you be21 days in no time.Our prayers are with you ,Hang on!! steve

[Mags]

Last Night

Just keep trying, Janka. You stumbled, you fell, it happens. Get back up now. You are dealing with a lot of emotions right now. Drinking only helps you feel better in the short term, but makes the problems much worse in the long term. I hope you have the day off from work today. Take a nice long shower, get out of the house, go for a walk - just get away from the booze for a while and breathe a little.
We're all here for you.

[janka]

Last Night

thanks to everyone ... if feel like an idiot ... my kids are mad at me