Last Night

[Guest]

Last Night

Your kids are mad at you janka, as they know mum can do without the booze.........you did it for 14 days...........now, let`s see you do it again and make those kids proud of you!!!!
My kid telling me she is proud of me quitting made me feel worthy of being her mum again.

Love and strength to you,

Starlight Impress x

[janka]

Last Night

thanks star, i know they love me and i am sick of disappointing them ... i know i do this stuff to be rebellious ... very stupid ... hate the idea of starting from day 1 ... was doing well for a while there ... i cannot take the stress of not knowing what is going to happen with my marriage ... it not all my fault ... he cannot see that though

[Guest]

Last Night

Well janka, I may not be in the midst of a possible marriage breakdown, but I do currently have an enormous worry in my life.........find I am the proverbial fox being pursued by the hounds.
Operative difference between our thinking just now, is that you are allowing the stress of your rocky marriage to cause you to turn to the booze, whereas no amount of bastards upsetting me will cause me to be fool enought to drink..........THAT is true defiance, janka!!!!

We only get two choices, janka.........."sink" or "swim"........I made my choice 5 wks. ago...........now it`s your turn.

You can do this..........I am no stronger than you.

Much love,

Starlight Impress x

[janka]

Last Night

you are absolutely right star ... i just wish my daughter wasn't so mad at me ... we get along very well usually

[pipenny]

Last Night

Janka I also have my son cross with me big time. So I can feel a bit of how quilty you are feeling.
Please don't let the quilt take you backwards, try to think how much more they will value a Mum who can say Yep I made a misktake but I am not giving up.
I am a new bee and so far have only managed 1day AF, so am looking up to you girl. You don't say but may be your daughter is cross about you splitting up with your husband and it may have nothing to do with your slip
We all hurt the one we love best when we are upset and confused about a situation, we might not understand. Stay strong keep trying I know I am going to try to make my son proud of me.
pipenny :thumbs:

Err please excuse the spelling in this I am dyslexic and so forgive me, haven't worked out how to use the spell check on this site yet.

[janka]

Last Night

Hi Pipenny and thank you ... i don't think my kids know i was served with divorce papers ... my son would have a fit!!! i hope you perservere and get through today af ... i'll be okay today, i can tell. those 2 weeks i had af really felt good, didn't have anxiety anymore ... but boy did i goof ... i hope i can reconstruct my family here ... i didn't drink all the time, so i guess i can abstain for now ... i went to bed early last night and no one was home, so i have no clue how they would know i drank last night

[beatle]

Last Night

Janka, I just tuned in on this. You have received a lot of good advice and you sound like you are pretty clearheaded now. I wish you the best. I've made the same mistake many a time, but when you have two weeks af under your belt, it's not so hard to get going again. Please turn to us (and not alcohol) when you are having problems. You have it in you to deal with this.

[Suzanna]

Last Night

Janka, you apologized to your kids, now that is that. No more explaining or feeling bad, Cancel and Proceed, I love that!!
Day 1 AF for me, again, but that's okay.
:h Suz

[janka]

Last Night

Hi Beatle and Suz, thats so much for your thoughts. Am feeling better ... my husband actually called my sister-in-law to tell her what's up with him ... he's terrified of me right now. am unsure still about a divorce, not a good time, really ... i wish day 1 was over ... felt so much better af. took my daughter shopping ... i hope you are all well

[Mags]

Last Night

Janka, if you are still lurking - relax tonight, stay AF, try to get some sleep. Go on chat if you need to.

[Finding My Self]

Last Night

Janka - Hang in there love. Please. Minute by minute and this too shall pass...
Finding x

[janka]

Last Night

Hi Feet and thanks ... onto day 2 af. i am scared ... i don't want to mess up ... have to go to work, have an interview for a promotion this a.m. i don't want a divorce ... don't went to drink ... am tired of anxiety. j

[Roz]

Last Night

Hi janka, ( 9-3-07)
Sorry i missed the boat yesterday. I just read your thread today. Under your circumstances, I don't know how you did 17 days AF - you should be very proud. You CAN do it again. Unless your husband changes the way he treats you, I don't think you should feel guilty for wanting a divorce because of your kids. Your relationship with your husband is just going to give you excuses to drink. Your kids are a very important part of your life so tell yourself within that you want to quit for the kids - you can't be there for your kids unless you are there for yourself. Kids know the true story - they really just want both parents to be happy. You don't have to take the kids to Yankee games for them to love you, they love you for you. You sound like a compassionate mom who wants the best for her kids. Hang in there Janka and keep taking those sups and thinking positive thoughts

[janka]

Last Night

thanks roz, wish i didn't have to go to work today, but that would be dangerous. i just want the anxiety to go away ... slept well though ... hope you are okay ... cannot even begin to think about a divorce right now ... too overwhelming

[Skye650]

Last Night

Hi Janka,

Just hang in there youll see all will fall into place.. "you are exactly where you should be right now, though it doesnt seem that way..." you know what it is you want so focus on that and ensure that you can get what you want, we have choices in life and we can decide at times which way to go....