HOW CAN I GO ON

[ECHOME]

I have to go to work. I cant eat I cant sleep Iam an emotional wreck. Iam sick from hurting my family. I miss them so much. This will be day 2 AF. I hope I can find help fast. Not so much the drinking today but the emotional part. I look like hell warmed over from crying for two days. Never again can I put myself or loved ones in this situation. My wife asked for the house and for me to leave. I said i will leave and help her with anything she needs. The sad part is she dont need me. Now I have to stay with my brother and his family until I get things sorted out. I can only hope and pray she will give me the time to heal and give me another chance. I cannot and willnot drink again. ECHOME

[me145]

HOW CAN I GO ON

hey Echo. your in a really scary situation, i know. im sure it will work out though. at the time everything is so scary. your worried your wife might not be there when you finally fix your problem, your worried you may mess up and not be able to stop drinking, etc. i just asked God that your wife is there and for you to be happy. you should pray to him also. he is always with you, and feels your pain. good luck

[ECHOME]

HOW CAN I GO ON

Thank you 145. Took a shower feel better dont look so bad. I have to tell my boss I need time off for court. Iam so confused I dont no what to say should I tell the truth I have lied my whole life to myself and everybody to cover my problems. I think I should just tell him about court and not my drinking and drugs. I hope I can get through this. Thank you for praying for me Iam sure god has a plan no matter how painful

[Bella]

HOW CAN I GO ON

Echome. Welldone on day 2. Keep it up. You will start to feel stronger emotionally the longer you can stay sober. Maybe staying with your brother will give you and your wife some space to think. I do hope things work out. Bella xx

[treeman]

HOW CAN I GO ON

echome
please stay sober.....at this time it will help a lot.....

try to find something to make you laugh.....may be very hard at this point.....
i was depressed but i heard one of my cats snoring from the other room.....i had to laugh...

hold it down....

[Accountable for Me]

HOW CAN I GO ON

If it helps any just tell your boss you need to contend to a personal matter the day of Court. He doesn't need to know anything you don't wish him to know.

I know what you are going through is pretty painful and stressful. One thing I would suggest is to give your wife the time she needs to get through her own pain from this. Giving her some space will be the best medicine over all.

Good job on the 2 days AF - it is a great start.

[Guest]

HOW CAN I GO ON

Hi ECHOME,
Great stuff for being on Day 2........shows just how strong you are when you are able to refuse the drink when so emotionally upset.

"I cannot and will not drink again"...........your words.......say them over and over to yourself whenever you feel tempted (as we all do in times of strife).

You`ve learned the hardest lesson and you feel as if your world is falling apart, but piece by piece you can rebuild it. Your deep love of your wife and child comes across in your heartfelt posts..........if you can write so emotionally, your wife must be very aware of just how much you love her.

I really don`t think you have lost her, but she`s mad at you for pushing her..........she`s hurt and confused and rightly feels that she needs a breather from you. She`ll come round, once she understands from your actions just how very sorry you are and how committed you are to sobriety. But she needs you to prove yourself to allow her to rebuild her trust.

No amount of drink in the world is worth losing your family for.........you know that now.........stay sober and win her back.........you know you can.

I feel for your plight.
Wishing you love and strength,

Starlight Impress x

[betty boop]

HOW CAN I GO ON

Echome, I feel for you ........

If you manage to give up the booze, will your wife forgive you????

If you want her back then you CAN do this .....

[paula]

HOW CAN I GO ON

So sorry Echome,
sending you love and best wishes. Hope everything works out.
Paula.

[Flip]

HOW CAN I GO ON

Stay strong - do what ever it takes.

[Hannah]

HOW CAN I GO ON

Remember what you've said " I cannot and will not drink again. Be strong. Things will get better. Keep posting here, it is a great emotional outlet and source of support. Wishing you well.

[ECHOME]

HOW CAN I GO ON

Thank you guys. Very long day 15 hours tell now. I gave my wife a concusion. Head to head trauma. AKA head butt, It is very painfull to say what I have done. I have always abused my wife emotionally and verbally. Never have I hurt her physically. My drinking and anger have gone out of control. Iam sorry Starlite if I was not completely honest about my abuse. Went to work and could not look anyone in the eye. I felt like everybody knew what I did. Maybe It had something to do with the fact that she went to the ER were I work!!!!! The first thing I did was grab my boss and tell him the truth. He was very supportive and told me any thing that I need they will help. They have a very good abuse program that is fully covered by insurance. You know health care workers are worse than roofers. Now the bad news a restraining order is on the way. I can not see my little girl or my wife I cannot call or anything for a long time. It is possible after 30, 60 or 90days of counseling and anger classes and alcohol rehab and and and and and and. I talked with my wife tonight. It felt so good to her voice. We talked for three hours!!! That is more than the last six monthes. We talked about rehab my abusive life and she let me know how much I have hurt the family. She told me my honesty and the way we were talking reminded her of the man she married. I cryed. ECHOME

[ECHOME]

HOW CAN I GO ON

Oh forgot something I cannot and will not ever drink again. Day 3 AF starts tommorow.

[Flip]

HOW CAN I GO ON

This all sounds so positive Echo!!! what a great start! We are all so proud of you!

Big Big hugs from Aust.

[bootcampbarbie]

HOW CAN I GO ON

that is a very heartfelt and deepfelt expression. that is tough to really see what the influence of behavior and alchohol/drugs only escalates everything. the main thing to focus in on right now is you and your sobriety. you will have time enough to figure out a way to mend fences and to figure out all the pain you've caused and have felt. and for now you will need to be selfish and focus on sobriety. as you said you can't have contact with your family anyway. so tis a good time for you for self evaluation and say hummmm is this really how that story is going to get written? and i'm proud of you for taking ownership of and being accountable for your behavior. abuse in any format will not serve you or anyone else. so tis time to get a good handle on yourself and not allowing yourself to cross the line. any of us can cross a line, it is the power to say no, i need to really see what this anger, sadness etc is about and face it. i need to not cross that line and transfer it to someone else.
so, echome, i know this sounds very cruel but i'm very thankful that you are in a place now that you can evaluate your life and make changes. if not for this, who knows what else could have happened. if not for this, it could have been far worse or you could have just slowly killed yourself and those around you. nope, you get an opportunity on day 3 to break the cycle. so, welcome to day 3 of cleansing your system. might i recommend kudzo and l glutamine as well. and programs are great that they are even covered by your medical practice but you'll need to make them work to have them work. sorry to say, no one gets a free ride. so, welcome to the new you. and i pray everyday for you and your family. bootsie