I know why I drink

[IrishGirl]

I know why I drink

PeggySue,

If I did housework when I was drunk I'm afraid I would never give up drinking! I do NOTHING when I am drunk so you can imagine what my house looks like.:sigh:

You said: "Can you believe there are so many people like us?" I am amazed! After all these years of hiding and lying and thinking it was just me I feel a tremendous sense of relief just reading here.

So far the sipping is working for me, but I know a lot of people on these boards don't believe moderation is possible so only time will tell.

More we have in common: "what do you have a passion for" and I can't think of a thing.

I am the same way (although I watch Lost not Grey's Anatomy.) I try to think of something that will bring me happiness to focus on and I don't come up with anything.

So good to have met you.

[ewaz44]

I know why I drink

Reading these observations was eye-opening to me. I was "clean and sober", attended AA until I couldn't stand to go anymore, and stayed AF mainly because my husband (of 12 years) was recovering and sober,all for 14 years. When he died 2 years ago of lung cancer, it all seemed like too much trouble to NOT drink, and I have been enjoying my beer way too much every day since then. I am disgusted with myself most of the time because I have gained 40 pounds, am on Prozac for depression. It is just so boring when I get home to my 6 dogs every afternoon. My 3 girls are grown and 2 live far away. They are my support, but also its fun to drink with them now when they are around. I was married to their father for 20 years before divorcing and he and I were drinking /fighting partners.
Anyway, this program sounds like one which really needs my attention. I have just received the book MWO in the mail this morning and have been reading the posts for a week or so. Just coming back to work after 2 days being out as my father just died of lung cancer 2 days ago. My heart is broken right now and my brain is in a fog, but hopefully I can make some sense of everyone else's stories and the book.

[Saint Jude]

I know why I drink

ewaz44, Just wanted to say I'm so sorry for your loss. :h
But glad you're here.:welcome: Keep reading & posting. I think you'll like it. There's some nice folks around this place & lots of great support.

Also like to say "Hi!" and :welcome: to IrishGirl, Scorpio, & Peggy Sue.

I know for me just being able to spend time outside on the beach or along the river ... just being outside in the wild helps soothe my soul. (I'm spoiled with where we live...)
But even if you can get out for a walk to see & hear some birds, squirrels, etc, maybe go to a park....

[vino_grrl]

I know why I drink

Peggy Sue ...

It made me sad, too, to see your post (and - as with others - it hit very close to home). Glad to see you're sticking close to the board and still checking in. Stick with it!

My situation is at least a little similar to yours -- and to many others (i.e., evening wine drinking and that 'how would i spend the evening without it' feeling). Yet, I'm finding that when I sort out a way to jolt myself out of my routine, and into one where wine just doesn't fit, then get home a lot later than normal ... hey, wow .... I don't drink so much. And sometimes not at all! Since you're a professional & functioning, perhaps think to yourself: how could I spend the money I spend on alcohol in some other more productive way on myself & free up that time to go out to do something non-drinky. Could you hire someone to clean your house once a week (instead of you doing it while all toasty)? One example for me: I'm a single mom (full-time ... no daddy in the picture) and evenings post toddler bedtime are my killer: argh! I'm stuck home! No way out! So I changed from having help three afternoons a week to three evenings a week. Now, instead of using the 10 or so child-free hours a week I have during the day, I use them in my 'witching hours' (when I'd be drinking) and try to do something utterly incompatible with drinking. two nights ago, i walked to the gym, took a spinning class, walked home. after doing something that healthy i didn't want to drink (topa probably helped too! ;-) ) tonight i had one glass of wine and then managed to pry myself away (hard!) and go for a wlk to the bookstore, do some christmas shopping, get a nice spicy chai, and forcefully kept myself out of the house until 9pm. and didn't start back up again ... i got on the board instead. for me, @ least, part of the trick is doing SOMETHING to break the evening cycle of coming home, opening the bottle and spiraling down. i hope i can keep this pattern up. i'm not sure i can. i've failed a # of times. but as the topa dose goes up, the # of failed times seems to go down. i'm just hoping i can stick w/the drug through the weird hair texture change and loss i'm experiencing (very upsetting).

ok, longer post than i intended. you're not alone. there are alternatives, they're just hard to see when you're in the grips of depression fueled by alcohol or withdrawals fueled by quitting it!

[skempy]

I know why I drink

I'm in a similar boat...

I'm an amazingly productive drunk, but the next morning it's soooo hard to get moving. Also, my husband does not join me in drinking unless we are out somewhere. If we are at home, as we normally are, he cannot stand for me to drink and makes that very clear. I've used Topa in the past and am considering Campral. I'm afraid I'm killing myself.