Pinkie, I do understand. I worry alot when I feel I have alienated people. Verbally I have hurt many people. I AM sorry, but what can I say?
"I am so sorry I said that to you when I was drinking, but I still DO think you were/are not right...? Any one of them who wants to pay their own bills can get away from me any minute they choose. I feel USED! I don't know who my real friends are, including my family.
So far, I have only accidentally hurt myself physically.
Right now, at this very moment, I have not been able to leave my home for almost a week because I tripped over a garden hose "someone" left on my front walk (while I was drunk as a rat) and I got a concussion that resulted in one of the ugliest black eyes I have ever seen. (I am a former trauma nurse with nearly 20 years in ER/Ambulance/ICU). I didn't even hit my eye while I was "sidewalk surfing". All the blood from the head injury pooled in my eyes. Thank god I didn't mess up my dental work.
I work mostly at home now and I am really hoping this will clear up before I have to interact with any of my friends or clients. Next appointment is Friday...maybe I can wear some makeup?
Or maybe I shouldn't drink anymore, drinking must be the cause of all the physical problems I started to drink for in the first place? Don't ask me, I don't have a clue.
Sorry for being so down right now, and all the best to all of you!
Money does NOT make it better, it makes things worse. Do something good for good people who need a break, never try to buy friends or fans.
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