let everyone down AGAIN

[maryt]

hi guys i know i haven,t been around much ,just been busy ,well where do i istart suppose start with the possitive the possitive being that for a long time there i was doing really well and doing it on my own although i was not competely af my drinking was dramatically reduced and i felt good about myself so much so that i have went for a complete image change as well you know the thing new hair style diff hair colour new make up ,,this was the new me even went on a few dates without drinking ,,,but like everything it didn,t last long this is going to sound stupid but my pc broke and i was so bored sitting at home that i started drinking more and last night was the worse for a long time yet again i could not get up for work my boss wasmad not that i blame her ,my mum came over and caught me so she is way upset and my son sent me a text telling me that he is angry as well ,,,have been in bed all day and don,t know where to turn so here i am HELP

:h mary txxx

[Guest]

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Hi maryt,
You just need to start over and try again, only try even harder this time. You already know what a difference cutting back made to your life.........be hell-bent on getting back there again.

Starlight Impress x

[Finding My Self]

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Mary - good on you for coming back here and 'spilling the beans'.....you've not let anyone down....you're feeling poo and that's going to help you remember how good it was to be moderate and sober....

So, this shall pass and you'll feel better soon.....howz about jotting down all the feelings, mental and physical, you've got now....a reminder of where to keep away from in the future?

Good on you for the image stuff and dating AF etc....!! You can go there again....hang in there. Thinking of you.

Love FMS xx

[betty boop]

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Maryt, the first thing I have to say is well done for posting here and telling us ......

You CAN DO THIS ......

You obviously want to, so take the bull by the horns and do it ........

Love & Hugs, BB xx

[maryt]

let everyone down AGAIN

thanks starlight,fms and betty,,,,,you are all right ,,i know i can do this have done it before ,funny as this sounds you forget you have a prob sometimes and slip into bad habits way to easily,need to dig deep and do it again

take care all and thanks maryt xx

[Determinator]

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wecome back Maryt, nice to see you again

[meditation mama]

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Glad you're back, Mary.. It is easier to fall back than to keep going forwards sometimes. But we do know how good it feels when we succeed. I also had a slip on Wedensday and it felt horrible! So, back I am - with determination, and you can, too. Stay close and stay in touch. We are a family here and we will help each other through the tough times - and also the good.

Namaste, my friend,

MM

[maxman]

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always a shoulder here!

[Miss October]

let everyone down AGAIN

Hi MaryT

Hi Mary T. :welcome: Back !

I see you joined in Sept. 2006. I just joined in Nov. 2007, but back in Feb. 2006, I had finally had it, and I went and sought some help with a "certified addictions specialist". I told him my story, I cried out to him, and it felt good to finally tell someone my secret. He helped me cut down on my drinking, and I was feeling so much better. But after I stopped seeing him, and was feeling so good, I started right back up drinking wine every night........and I KNEW that this is how it all starts again.....,.feeling good, I can drink again......dead wrong.....and after another year of too much drinking wine at night, I knew I needed help once again, and I found MWO in November 2007 and here I am.

Mary, you said your MOM caught you....doing what, drinking too much ? I always remember my Mom saying to me, Nancy, you should not be drinking like that.....it can turn into a problem....but I just did not pay attention.....her MOM died from alcoholism at the age of 49. She was only 17 when she died. That's when I went for help (age 49, because I wanted to make it to my 50th birthday), and I did, but I'm worried about the next.

I love this place. I'm not totally AF (alchohol free), but I'm working on it. I cannot say enough about the people from all over the world on this site. They are great, and the stories are funny, sad, inspirational, and down right honest ! They may not all respond to you, but just reading and posting really can help. There is so much to read on MWO, you will not have anytime to drink.

So MaryT, we are here to help you and ourselves. Welcome back !!

P.S. You have a new PC :bananacomputer: right....well keep in touch !

[nancy]

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Hi and welcome

Try not to focus on the fact that you have had multple failures. That doesn't mean you can't succeed in the future. Lots of people on this site have failed multiple times and then succeeded. Sometimes the failures are learning experiences.

Also, I think it's great that your mother cares about you and I can see you don't want to make your relatives angry. but you need to solve this problem for yourself, not just for other people. How do you feel about it yourself? do you care enough about yourself to get well? That is most important. I think when you are down in the dumps with guilt it is sometimes harder to make changes because you think you are the way you are and that you are a bad person because you have a problem. That isn't true of course and it's an obstacle to recovery.

So take pride in your new look and get back on the road to recovery. And look at the big picture, if you were doing really well for a while you can be happy about that and use that as a positive motivator for change.

[trixietrack]

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you are back and that means that you do not want to live a drunk life but a healthy life.
keep us posted. being aware is the key, and that you are.
give it another go, and this time put a bit more force into it.
big hug to you

Trix

[jane jane]

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MaryT, I completely understand about boredom being the biggest trigger for "being naughty." Why do you think there are so many housewives on this thread? Get that PC fixed! And don't let your shame distance you from those who love you. Use them as motivators!

[Accountable for Me]

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Wecome back maryt!

The only thing you can do is try again today. You can do this!!! Boredom was a huge issue for me and drinking filled that void. I think the BIGGEST hurdle was replacing the alcohol with other stuff to fill the gaps of boredom.

I am happy to see you back here. Today is a new day!

[maryt]

let everyone down AGAIN

again i can only thank you all for being such kind and wonderful people,,and i will try my best to be here for you all when i can it is nice to know that in some way or other we are all on the same journey so can empathise and encourage each other and you all have been great ,,,well i did not drink at all yesterday nor today so a good start and i will come on here to fill the void that alcohol was filling ,,,,,,,,i am so not good at this and i know i am starting to babble so will go and see you all very soon

take care maryt xx

[Beaches]

let everyone down AGAIN

Welcome back Mary! We are all definately on the same journey. We all know how great we feel when we are doing well and how terrible we feel when it all goes downhill.

I am glad you came back to get support. This is such a wonderful, safe place with great people.