My last first AF day

[Cosette]

Today is the day- I dont like the non AF me. I dont like waking up in the morning and not remembering the night before. I dont like the constant state of either being cold or sweating or sometimes both at the same time. I think I may be allergic to wine too because my allergies are really acting up for reasons I cant explain. I dont like the 30 lbs I have gained. I dont like my family members looking at me weird to see if I am ok. I dont like the hair loss or the fact that I just dont look well. Do I need any more reasons to do this?? Wish me luck!

[satori]

My last first AF day

Cosette;242725 wrote: edit............. Do I need any more reasons to do this?? Wish me luck!

Er - NO! There are probably just about enough reasons there!!!!

You will feel MUCH MUCH better after a while AF - you will wonder why on earth you ever drank in the first place!


Go for it! You WON'T regret it!

Love :l

satori

xxx

[InnerStrength]

My last first AF day

Cosette
You can do this! You sound like you know why you should stop and truly, life will be better after you do. The first week or so might be hard but when you get through it, it all gets easier and easier! You have us behind you!!!
Jen

[trixietrack]

My last first AF day

Cossette I can agree with all your reasons. I also wanted to add that wine does make allergies worst. it makes you over produce histamines. and the dehydration from wine is also really awful nothing worse than getting up in the morning with a dry blue tongue. yucky!
give it a good shot and let us know how it goes.

Trix

[slightlysuze]

My last first AF day

Those are all good reasons, Cosette........choose a better life!

Lots of support here for you.....jump in!


Suze x

[Loved1]

My last first AF day

:welcome: Welcome Cosette
Those are all great reasons, most the same as mine.
Lets add no more bags under your eyes, I swear mine are already gone after only 6 days, you just dont get the restful sleep you need after you have been drinking, guess that is what causes them. Anyway they are UGLY and that is another good reason :H

[Ripple]

My last first AF day

Dear, wine was raising holy hell with my allergies and weight. Since stopping almost 90 days I am 30lbs. lighter. there are huge benefits from giving up the gas. The rewards are incredible, its just hard to get started.

take it easy~keep trying, you will eventually know when you're ready.

Luv..Ripple~

[Cosette]

My last first AF day

Thanks for all the kind words. I am now on Day2 AF. I did not sleep well at all last night but my head is clearer than it was yesterday. Allergies are still acting up--I have stopped the Kudzu and others for the time being. Part of me wants to stop all meds for a month and see what happens. I actually got alot done last night AND I remember doing it. No place else but here could I say that. thanks

[YoungAtHeart]

My last first AF day

Keep on trucking Cosette, you're doing great. You'll start seeing more benefits as each day goes by. They say Day 5 is the hardest (I don't personally remember), so beware, and don't let it get you down. It gets easier after the first week and weekend. Then watch your confidence grow!

Congrats on Day 2!

:welcome:

Hugs,
Kathy

[salem]

My last first AF day

Semi-urgent questions

Hi:

I am going to see the doctor tomorrow--to square this program with him--I know he doesn't know about it because I talked to him over a year ago about Campral and hinted about MWO. He was gung ho about AA--but I told him I couldn't bear the confrontation and humiliation of those meetings. I have a little AA going on in my head most of the time. And also, I have learned, that AA has a 98% recidivism (failure) rate. 98%!!! Humiliation must not work. He didn't have anything else to offer, and I had only just found out about MWO (from a link, oddly enough, from AA online) and Campral-- he hadn't heard of either.

I have been taking 25 and then 50 mg. of Topamax for nearly two weeks. I think it works okay, so far. I can definitely feel a "stop" on alcohol and sometimes on food. Maybe 75 mg. will be the dose that does it.

Okay, so here's the problem. Topamax makes me feel tired (news flash)--not sleepy or as if I have to prop myself awake, but just weary. I tried 100 mg. of Provigil with it and it seemed to do nothing. I moved the afternoon dose later in the day thinking that I would be less tired, which I was, and that it would help my difficulty getting to sleep which had been made worse, I guess, by the Topamax, tho' I didn't put that together because the T was also making me weary. Strange combo, if true.

So, does anyone have any suggestions? I could try taking the T at bedtime again, and see if the sleeplessness was not necessarily related to it (of course, if it occurs, how would I know?),or I could increase the daytime dose of Provigil to 200 mg.

Also, does Naloxone do this? Effect sleep or daytime wakefulness?

I tried Campral a year ago and it definitely works, but if I take even a sip of wine on it, I get a tremendous headache. Which feels like punishment. The voices in my head are already shaming me enough. Also, I would like to have one glass (one glass!) of wine occasionally--you know, act like a person in control of herself. I have had a taste of that this week and it is nice. Always before there was this anxiety about whether I could stop after two, or maybe after three. . .

I got the T and the Provigil from a friend of mine who is a nurse practitioner--but neither she nor I want to continue this. I don't know how the doc will feel about the fact that I went around him, but I guess if it bothers him too much, it's time for another doc.

I did start it out of desperation. I had made the doctor's appt. but it was 2 weeks off. Then my daughter got into the university that she wanted--10 hours drive or 2 hours flight from here. An enormous accomplishment for the kid who has struggled with learning disabilities. And no surprise to me either--I was totally aware that she had applied there and had encouraged it. So I was astounded by my reaction. My neck and back went into painful spasm, which I was trying not to show because of the celebration. I tried a muscle relaxant which my husband had on hand, ibuprofen etc. Nothing worked--for five days. So then there was wine. Which did ease the pain some. But I did end up drinking more than my usual base of 3 to 4 (5 oz.) glasses of wine. For several days and starting earlier.

Okay, so I have my issues of loss (which I thought I had "worked through"), which may also be the reason I can't just stop drinking cold turkey with or without meds. It would be a loss, a death of one of my best friends. Sad but true. My mother used to give it to me from around age 12 on to help with middle school anxiety. She helped her anxiety with it too. At least then, it helped me sleep. In college she used to bring it to me in liter Coke bottles (for red wine ) and Seven-Up bottles (for white)--because I could have been suspended had I been caught underage with the alcohol in the dorm. Only lately, has this struck me as an odd thing for a parent to do. Her father was a nasty, violent alcoholic but he drank whiskey. Wine doesn't make you an alcoholic--right? Everyone knows that. When my mother had her whiskey, she drank it out of a teacup. I thought it was tea, for years. Wine as coke, whiskey as tea, what a confusing world!

Thanks for any help.

Oh, and Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays and and a drier 2008!