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    #16
    family intervention

    Hope,
    I am also new to this website, but not new to alcohol issues.... note, I didn't say alcoholism. Roberta Jewel's book really helped me, and she struck close to home when she said: "But those who suffer from alcohol and drug abuse are often viewed as lacking self-control."

    "And when an alcoholic goes out and binges, they?re considered to be evil, out of control or simply unworthy of our care, even though medical therapeutic interventions have been slow to help them with their problem. That is not necessarily true for, say, a patient with congestive heart failure. That person is not considered to be evil or a failure because he binged on a bag of potato chips and suffered a heart failure episode due to an overload of salt.".

    My mom is a fiesty, 78 year old French Canadian. She is 1/8th Indian... which means I'm 1/16th Indian, right? When I was a teenager, I remember my grandma (1/4 Indian) getting pie-eyed on beer; but more importantly, I remember my mom vowing that she would NEVER be like that. Well, guess what.... she became like her mom. I vowed I'd never be like my mom, and yet, I am just like her.

    If I accept the fact that my genetic disposition has an impact on my drinking habits, I can stay AF. But, if I look at my problem as a character weakness, well.... I'll keep drinking to prove that it's NOT a character weakness. Does that make sense? I am WOMAN, HEAR ME ROAR!!!This is my first shot at being sober, and I have been able to manage since Thanksgiving... so, I'm new to this. However, I choose to look at my drinking as a "life threatening problem", and a medical condition that I need to control through exercise and diet.

    In addition to Roberta Jewel's book, I've read several other books about sobriety.
    There is Susan Powter's book, "Sober, and Staying that Way"; Jean Kirkpatrick's, "Goodbye Hangovers, Hello Life";
    and Caroline Knapp's "Drinking, A Love Story".
    The common thread among these four authors: they are all strong, independent and successful women (according to society's standards). Hope, if they have the courage to tackle this condition, why can't I? Why can't you?

    Like Roberta, I don't want to go to AA. I don't want my employer to know that I have this "condition", so I'm not getting counseling through my insurance. I know, that's probably stupid and paranoid, but I'm doing this MY WAY. :heart:

    Lastly, guess what happened to my mom. For the last 5 years, my mom has had several heart-related conditions. When she had a mild heart attack, the doctor asked her if she drank.... and she claimed only "on occasion". My dad wouldn't tell the doctor the truth, out of (enabled) love for my mom. When the next episode was a heart attack AND a slight stroke, my dad broke down and told the doctor the truth. The Neurologist quickly figured out that she has Wernicke-Korsakoff Syndrome. He said that it's a very common condition, but often mis-diagnosed because people are ashamed of alcohol abuse.
    Here is some information about Wernicke's syndrome:

    Wernicke-Korsakoff Syndrome Information Page: National Institute of Neurological Disorders and Stroke (NINDS)

    In short, my mom's health related problems were all preventable. BTW, she was in a nursing home for 4 months, but is now back home and 100% AF. And for the last year, she has been a totally different/improved/lovable mom. She has turned back into the loving caring mom that lived in my memories. So now, when I say I'm going to be just like my mom, I'm not saying it as a back-handed insult to her, but rather as an honor
    .:h

    Good luck, Hope!

    Patty
    Tampa, FL

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      #17
      family intervention

      Hi again

      About counseling...

      I don't think it's bad to have counseling for depression on your records because it is so common. But you would have to look at your insurance plan and see how many sessions they allow with a therapist and what the terms are. I think therapists are open to only disclosing to the insurance company what must be disclosed to get coverage but you would have to get some advice on this and discuss with the therapist up front. Otherwise, check into private payments. I think in some areas of this country at least there are very good sliding scale rates and providers seek to make services available.

      I would avoid getting alcoholism on your records if possible (but if you need to acknowledge this for health reasons it seems worth considering) because some people on this site have said that they faced problems getting private insurance with alcoholism on their records. You could talk to the therapist about this, omitting this from forms etc. Again, I think therapists are very open to discussing what gets submitted on insurance forms. But seeing a therapist without being open about the drinking seems a waste to me.

      I hope you are feeling better. Try not to think the worst about a possible slip and getting caught out by your relatives. Of course it can happen but then again you are facing a big challenge. You don't want to set yourself up for defeat. I'm no pollyanna but I am 100% sure that postive attitude/being on your own side or your own ally is really important in succeeding with all this. Even if it takes time! It probably seems like deprivation now, but the times I have gone without alcohol for long periods were very healthy times. People start complimenting you on your complexion and how well you look. Life calms down.

      If you want to get hypno in person that sounds fine to me. Some people don't like the voice on the hypno Cds, though I think it's fine.

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