I have had a drinking problem for a couple of years now (if not more, and just did not realize it). I have done "better" on and off during this time. But in the end, this is what happens: I have a few solid nights of WAY too much to drink (don't remember getting my kids to bed, etc)...then I'll attend a family function where, because I am nervous I will drink too much, will drink myself in to oblivion. On New Years Eve at my brother's house, I don't remember much after 6 although we stayed until nine. As my family reported to me today, I could barely stand up and my 5 year old was sitting next to me on the couch saying "mom, you need to get up." I think what was most apparent to my family is that he wasn't too shocked by this. It doesn't happen everyday, but probably a few times a month or more I would guess it does. The sad thing is, I really don't know becuase on those nights I drink so much I don't remember.
So of course I woke up Jan 1, realizing I did not remember the party (we walked, btw), and then my son came out and told me how I was making no sense as I put him to bed. This is the first time I've really had to admit that they know I am "out of it" , as during the other times I have not known when it was I got so drunk - before I put them to bed or after.
Now, my family (including my ex-husband whom they called the next day), which has spoken to me about this before, came over tonite. They were sort of split between saying I can't see my kids again until I go to an in-patient rehab, or saying they want to see me quit for 60 days. They made me agree on 60 days, and promised at least on person will be checking on my every night.
The sad part is, I woke up New Years Day and really told myself, that had to be rock bottom. I made lists of what i would do etc. And who knows if it would have worked. But now my family is dictating to me how it is going to be, or I lose my kids. So I HAVE to do this, and I agree it's not such a bad idea. I am tired of waking up every morning w/the first thought- "do I remember last nite?", "who did i call?" ... sometimes the answer is fine, I remember it all. And sometimes I don't remember anything past 7.
I guess I'm looking for some support, and some ideas about how I am going to suddenly go AF. It must start tomorrow. I am so humiliated I can't even tell you. Apparently they even brought my children in to part of the conversation, so tomorrow when they are back from their dad's I must face them as well.
I would appreciate any advice!
So of course I woke up Jan 1, realizing I did not remember the party (we walked, btw), and then my son came out and told me how I was making no sense as I put him to bed. This is the first time I've really had to admit that they know I am "out of it" , as during the other times I have not known when it was I got so drunk - before I put them to bed or after.
Now, my family (including my ex-husband whom they called the next day), which has spoken to me about this before, came over tonite. They were sort of split between saying I can't see my kids again until I go to an in-patient rehab, or saying they want to see me quit for 60 days. They made me agree on 60 days, and promised at least on person will be checking on my every night.
The sad part is, I woke up New Years Day and really told myself, that had to be rock bottom. I made lists of what i would do etc. And who knows if it would have worked. But now my family is dictating to me how it is going to be, or I lose my kids. So I HAVE to do this, and I agree it's not such a bad idea. I am tired of waking up every morning w/the first thought- "do I remember last nite?", "who did i call?" ... sometimes the answer is fine, I remember it all. And sometimes I don't remember anything past 7.
I guess I'm looking for some support, and some ideas about how I am going to suddenly go AF. It must start tomorrow. I am so humiliated I can't even tell you. Apparently they even brought my children in to part of the conversation, so tomorrow when they are back from their dad's I must face them as well.
I would appreciate any advice!
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