Nerves 2....

[Finding My Self]

Nerves 2....

Oh no, MOW!!!!! They're not! OK??!?

Go look at nice things for me?!?? Pretty somethings and fill your mind with them! I'm sending you flowers!!



MUCH prettier!!!

Love FMS xx

BB - thanks again.....that's lovely re the meet and knowing you're just there....helps lots. :l Attached files [img]/converted_files/401934=2847-attachment.jpg[/img]

[Finding My Self]

Nerves 2....

And this is from me to you all - thanks again!



Love FMS xx Attached files [img]/converted_files/401936=2935-attachment.jpg[/img]

[Finding My Self]

Nerves 2....

Whew! This morning is a bit better - my cousin (a doctor) emailed me some 'sense'!! As my sensible brain thought - my *&$% brain just goes into melt down! - winter D&V has been around for ever, is always everywhere, the numbers aren't worse than normal, it's media hype worsened because, it being over Crimbo, they enjoyed time to wallow in more 'domestic' issues and were short of stuff! He worked with the chief of NHS Direct (who provide most of the figures) and suggested that if that guy was worried about anything it was more than likely the very thing nobody actually need to worry about! Smoke screen stuff....

And then I got rational about the triggers.....first it was hyped on the news first thing when it tends to be a direct line to the sub-conscious....not yet switched on the brain filters (7.30am!) and in it goes. And, of course, they pay people thousands to 'write it to scare'...and succeeded! But then, I actually went round to see David (the ex) to ask for some help with something. And he, absolutely knowing how I am around it...he's been there; we lived together for about 5 years! - waded straight in with, "Well, we're all going to go down with this D&V thing...." I immediately came back with my sensible brain's thoughts (as above) and he just shrugged ....
And when I asked him to change the subject he said, "Well, they say 10,000 a day are succumbing...." I mean....WOT!!! What an insensitive, thoughtless, selfish, dare I say, unintelligent thing to say to me! Well, to anyone who has a phobia when you know about it!
(I didn't say anything but, as you noble guys know, when I came home I fell over!!!)

He might have his flat full of all my cards and things I've given him - all on his desk as if I am still special but my heart needs a little more respect than that please! IS IT ME?!

Hey ho....wont be asking for help there often then....

So, thanks so much - I know I am going on about this ad nauseam (sic!!) (Ha Ha!!) but it really helps as it is the first time in 8 months I have felt the 'I need a drink to settle my nerves' feeling....quite different from my little half glass from time to time - that feels just fine...(not having it these last days!) and I am not going there.....so, if you can stand my banging on it is really helping....

Worked out it really IS about abandonment ishooos! I'll get there!

Love FMS xx