I AM CRAZY

[keeta]

i must be to think this is ok....between my dreams and reality, i just can't make it.i wish i were stronger.i need help.........

[Accountable for Me]

I AM CRAZY

I am so sorry no one had responded to you post for help keeta. You are not crazy. I hope you are OK.

You can make it. You have to start telling yourself you can. If you keep telling yourself you can't then you wont. Hang in there.

[Winefree]

I AM CRAZY

Keeta, how can we help you? I'm not crazy, so you mustn't be either. We are all struggling with the beast and need to overcome him. It takes time and strength. And reading and posting and talking and reading and posting.

Let us know how you are doing.

Winefree

[Flip]

I AM CRAZY

Go and see your doctor ASAP and get a referral to a counsellor ASAP.

TODAY.

[Finding My Self]

I AM CRAZY

Keeta - how are you?

Just because you feel crazy does not mean that you are crazy....

We all felt crazy.....the madness I felt 8 months ago beggars belief....

We act crazy around booze....but never forget that deep down, Keeta is really feet-on-the-ground cos you're here, trying to get out of the hole you find yourself in....and it's horrible. Dark and cold and lonely...

Come here and tell us how you're doing? Please?

And go get that doc's appt and counsellor - it's OK to do that; you matter.

Love FMS xx

[janka]

I AM CRAZY

Hi Keeta, you are not crazy just facing some of life's problems like everyone else here. First of all, get rid of any negative thoughts/labels about your self because they will make you feel bad/gulity, which paves a quick way to more drinking and you don't want that. Get your body balanced and get off the booze asap ... drink water, take supplements, eat well and rest. Take it easy. Opt for improvement not perfection. Going to a doctor is a great idea ... they have seen this stuff before and are so willing/happy to help -- after all, that's why they became doctors ... right? No need to fear or be embarrassed. Please read more here and talked to us ... join us in chat too! Prayers and hugs to you, janka

[betty boop]

I AM CRAZY

Keeta.... Are you OK ????????

[Chief]

I AM CRAZY

Hey Keeta......crazy people don't think they're crazy...

You are just torn between continuing this crazy behavior or making a firm, honest committment to change. It's easy to keep doing the same thing. It's not as easy to change the way you think and act.

You really have 2 choices: Continue drinking and be miserable or decide you are done and are going to do whatever it takes to stop this train and get off.

We can help you immensely, but we can't do it for you. You have to decide to change.

You can do it....if I can, you can

Don

[buckledown]

I AM CRAZY

Keeta...please seek a doc help if you are feeling desperate...please post to let us know how you are doing...big hugs from buckle

[dexterhead]

I AM CRAZY

Keeta: you are NOT crazy! You were so helpful on your post to me about triggers. As you know, I'm still struggling also, and while this site is a godsend, sometimes I read success stories of those who seem so strong and (although I know that these people fought one hell of a battle to get where they are), I think, why can't I be strong too, what the hell is wrong with me?? Is that what you're feeling? I hope we can help each other through this and I hope you are doing OK:h

[Finding My Self]

I AM CRAZY

Spot on....seem strong?!?! Hindsight is great.... I can assure you that personally I have never felt so weak as I did those first few days...and on a bit.... I would never want to feel them again; they were awful...

So, just do one hour...one five minutes at a time, Keeta (et all!) Hell, I am no 'expert' (Dog forbid; and ex is a has-been and a spurt is a drip under pressure :H) but I absolutely know that I wasn't alone...just about all of us felt it in those early days....to be honest, I don't know how I got through them I felt sooooh crazy...but, like in a fog, I just went on putting one foot in front of the other in my determination to get past the feeling....

TRUST! That tiny but powerful word and for that, perhaps fake it till you make it....and just KEEP PLODDING ON....and listen to us all cheering you on.

Believing in you Keeta - and everybody...come and tell us how you're doing?

Hugs - big ones
FMS xx

[betty boop]

I AM CRAZY

Chief & FMS, you say it so well ........

Keeta, check in love .........

[keeta]

I AM CRAZY

not doing well enough to address you all directly, but THANK you all for your advice, concern, and caring. yesterday was the icing on a very shitty caker..drinking for two days...anxiety is very high right now...but reading your replys renews my hope, i promise to check back in and properly respond to all you wonderful words in the morning...thank God for each of you!

Kee

[bootcampbarbie]

I AM CRAZY

ah keeta, i've been following yours posts and can remember my own version of insanity as i've been you in my own way walking this path. not you but me being me practicing insanity. doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results, feeling powerless to change that outcome and still knowing that a part of me desperately wanted to and yet then going back again and again. always a good place to begin is the simplest place.
take an inventory of where you are right now,,
what are all the outcomes that drinking gives you...... on one side of the page
and what are all the ways your life would be free and you would be if you weren't practicing that behavior.
write down what you believe you are giving up if you weren't working for big Al and then write down across from that a big section called THE TRUTH, and write down what you are gaining.
see which side for now is the winning hand. relax into that. it may as they say not be your time to quit, which means you can stop making yourself wrong. it may also be your time to take an inventory and see just how much longer do i want to practice this.... and insanity is the word. call it crazy but i do believe that while drinking, even when i was sober inbetween bottles i was still enacting crazy behavior that wasn't at all what i was about, didn't have a thing to do with the direction i wanted my life to go and in fact didn't represent the real me at all.
hopefully this is useful, a cry for help is always heard here and always responded to and you will need to hear your cry for help very much so deep within you because you are where the direction turns. you are the sign post on the road called life that will begin or end that journey. all the rest of us are simply markers along the way here to wave you on. but it is you,,, that needs to say i shall move one direction for even this moment and stay with that direction. let the hand play itself out.... much love to you bootsie