3:30 PM On Friday

[Accountable for Me]

3:30 PM On Friday

You both deserve so much better in the men department.

[sherrie]

3:30 PM On Friday

Thanks Accountable and Thuzzy!! ThuzzyQ...wow you do sound like me...my EX BF drank a lot too right along with me...the only difference was that I drank the same amount and I'm pretty small and have an "issue"...so I wouldn't remember the night before and somtimes said some things that weren't all that nice.

But, I figured something out...for these past 3 weeks of me not being drunk...I noticed that he isn't very nice and I was on my "best behavior". I think I let him dump on me and make me feel terrible because things were a bit blurry and he had me convinced that I was the one that was so mean to him...

I've dated a lot in the last 9 years of being divorced, but no one has been this jealous and a control freak. He is jealous of TV stars, hockey players...you name it. jealous for me to go to work cause I work with all men.

Being sober allowed me to figure out that he's got far more "ISSUES" than I do!!!:H

A partner isn't someone that brings you down and makes you feel bad about yourself...ThuzzyQ you might come to the same conclusion once you are thinking clearly again too! Good luck to you and keep posting!!!

[sherrie]

3:30 PM On Friday

Thuzzy...

since my kids are the same age as your two...don't tell them anything about quitting the drinking. They've heard it all before and they've seen it all too.

I decided to just let them see for themselves instead of having a big "talk". I can say that after 1 week my 14 year old daughter definitely noticed and was mad at me one morning and asked me if I thought I deserved a gold medal because I didn't drink for one whole week??!! Time will show them.

My daughter knew that I drank on Friday and she was mad at me, but she also saw that there were still 3 beers left and that I did not drink again the rest of the weekend.

Posting here for the past few weeks has really helped me. Seeing all the concerned posts from everyone really makes you feel good inside and lets you know that total strangers sometimes care more about you than someone that claims to love you!

[Not Happy Hour-Happy Life]

3:30 PM On Friday

Ladies,
When my 17 year old was 14, I remember her throwing my drinking in my face.... "you're drunk every night!".... well, how could I fight back, considering she was right?

Even though my daughter is a little older than yours, there was one Saturday recently when I was just on EDGE. At first, she wasn't supportive of me at all- peeved that I didn't have real wine or champagne at Christmas and New Years... but anyway, on this one particular Saturday, I was just EDGY. Crabby. If someone would have said, "let's go to the bar", I would have beat them there. But she looked at me and softly said, "Mom do you need a hug?" and I lost it. I burst into tears, and couldn't believe that my baby was trying to heal me.... it's supposed to be the other way around, you know?

I simply told her that I didn't know if I could do this.... and how fricking hard this was.... and I didn't want to disappoint her again.... she squeezed me tight, and said, "I love you, Momma".

That's all it took to make me better. :heart:

[sherrie]

3:30 PM On Friday

Patty...believe me my daughter has done lots of those things...she dumped my bottle of beer out on Friday night. I broke down one morning last week and told her how hard it was for someone like me and she gave me a hug too and felt bad.

My kids have dumped things out, hidden bottles, hid my keys so I couldn't go to the store, searched the house for my hiding spots...you name it.

It is tough! I know it makes me feel even worse that I have 2 kids in my house watching this terrible behavior. Probably why the're so spoiled...I've tried to make up for a lot of things. Not so bad if you only have to deal with yourself in the morning!

[ThuzzyQ]

3:30 PM On Friday

Well they have watched me struggle through the years and try EVERYTHING! I have gone through the dumping of the bottles (both them and me!), the names, the blackout promises, etc. They have gotten very dissapointed when they see that "guy" come through the door but I think they have given up saying anything. Just last week the 10 year old pointed at all the cupboards where I would come home with my pint and "hide" it to sneek shots during the evening. Obviously I'm far from as sneaky as I think! I just don't want to do that crap anymore! Plus the money I would save and could treat myself to a pedicure or a new outfit instead of a daily pint or 6 pack!

Its getting to be that time of the day too, I'm ready to go home and numb my mind while I do laundry, cook, sign and help with homework, you know, everything for everyone else so why I think my "treat" is to drink is so frustrating. I have to re-read the book, stock up on supps and set a date and I mean it! I'm telling NO ONE but you guys, my best friend has tried this with me in the past but between her piece of crap boyfriend and all that entails she isn't ready again. It's almost spring here in the north country (where today's high was six below!) and by then I want to get out and walk after work, maybe start a hobby besides one that is killing me!

The beauty of picking yourself back up and trying again is you can hopefully learn those triggers from the past and be more proactive to avoid them?

Our kids will forgive us, its myself that needs to work on forgiving me my past mistakes!

[sherrie]

3:30 PM On Friday

Thuzzy...reading your post does sound exactly like my life. My kids hated the BF too.
Anyway I thought of something else I wanted to say about my weekend...Just thought of something else to add?

Originally on Saturday, I was just going to dye my daughter?s hair. When we got to the store I decided I wanted a change too?she knew nothing about me breaking up with the BF. She asked me if I was going to ?get in trouble? for dying my hair. I always said or did everything wrong?let?s see?scrambling eggs, cooking bacon, laundry, hanging my towel up in the bathroom, discipline of my kids, type of sunscreen?You name it, I did it WRONG.

I just realized that I am so critical of myself that I certainly don?t need someone else ripping me to shreds. I actually think control freaks do this on person to tear down the other person because their self esteem is low. Just my guess.

Thuzzy...order your supps, re-read the book and pick your date!!! It will make you feel much better about yourself. Take it from ME!!!!:l

[ThuzzyQ]

3:30 PM On Friday

Thanks Sherrie I will! My X husband was the more critical one. The BF just seemed content to have nothing, he works full time but has no money, no car, no desire to improve but wonders why I get angry when he wants me to drive my older vehicle 20 miles to pick him up so we can go back to my house, hang out and GOD forbid I have a drink or two and get pulled over! These were all my problems it seemed....

Anyway, heading out early, have to pick up my sick daughter at Grandma's! I'll be back tomorrow! Have a great evening everyone and thanks for listening!