Hey everyone. I just moved during which I drank continuously for 5 days straight from the time I got up , to the time I passed out and in the middle of the night when I would wake up I would take 3 or 4 shots and go back to bed.. The end result, was me trying to have lunch with my family and going into a severe panic attack that sent me in an ambulance on the way to the hospital. I told the doctors and nurses that I wanted to stop drinking, and the support was AWESOME. The doc is referring me to an addiction specialist sometime this week and we'll talk about some of the options I could do. He even hugged me! This was not the response I was expecting! I thought looks of horror would wash across every face in the room. But no, I was treated with respect and dignity! The doc also told me that being an alcoholic is a disease. and not to be ashamed or feel guilt. He said if you had any other disease, would you beat yourself up? Wow I never thought about it like that.
So anyway I originally wanted to confess some of the things I did during my blackout-stage, so that maybe it would let me get some sleep, instead of letting then run through my mind and keeping me up.
1. I tripped and fell, it was so bad I wasn't able to move for several minutes. My body is covered in deep blue bruises.
2. I had a bottle 1/2 vicodin pills and 1/2 codeine pills, which I can't find, but the bloody noses I keep getting could be a sign that I snorted them
3. I walked (stumbled) around the city, at night harassing homeless people and anyone who would get in my way.
4. I think I attempted to apply for a second job.... but this is very foggy ( so I have no idea where I should never show my face again.)
5. I fear I might have spoken to my new landlord in an unfavorable manner, however I think this could be a dream or a hallucination. ( how do I recover from this? or find out if I actually did?)
6. I think I might have tried to buy more AL! and said some horrible things after being refused service.
Well, that pretty much sums it up... hopefully this confession will help me let it go and get some sleep, which I DESPERATELY need!
Any tips on what I can do?
So anyway I originally wanted to confess some of the things I did during my blackout-stage, so that maybe it would let me get some sleep, instead of letting then run through my mind and keeping me up.
1. I tripped and fell, it was so bad I wasn't able to move for several minutes. My body is covered in deep blue bruises.
2. I had a bottle 1/2 vicodin pills and 1/2 codeine pills, which I can't find, but the bloody noses I keep getting could be a sign that I snorted them
3. I walked (stumbled) around the city, at night harassing homeless people and anyone who would get in my way.
4. I think I attempted to apply for a second job.... but this is very foggy ( so I have no idea where I should never show my face again.)
5. I fear I might have spoken to my new landlord in an unfavorable manner, however I think this could be a dream or a hallucination. ( how do I recover from this? or find out if I actually did?)
6. I think I might have tried to buy more AL! and said some horrible things after being refused service.
Well, that pretty much sums it up... hopefully this confession will help me let it go and get some sleep, which I DESPERATELY need!
Any tips on what I can do?
:ranger 
c:
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