Life is so precious

[4theboyz]

This is going to be pretty heavy, at least for me it is. I have had a friend I've known for a long time, a true free spirit if there ever was one. She has been battling health issues Lupus among them for over 10 years. I/we got this e-mail from her and her lust for life, love and friendship came through in a way I have never seen or experienced before...my friend Cari.

I got the flu for like 8 week and it rally scared me.. I went and did some test and found out my cancer may be back.. I'm having a biopsy next week on a tumor that's now in my colon.. The doctor said that's why I've been so tired all the time.. My limmantic system is being affected.. I had a feeling something was very wrong but I'm getting to the point of just being sick and tired of being sick and tired.. My lower backs just been killing me all the time.. I got some yoga tape and it did help but I stated to bleed funny out of my butt.. So the doctor told me to stop.. That's when they found the tumor i n my big butt..LOL
So I guess they gonna cut it out and do the biopsy.. I love you and hope the best for you.. But to tell you the truth I just don't know how much longer I can keep holding on.. For the first time in my life of dealing with this shit.. I am really scared.. Of course I'll keep fighting to live.. but this time I just don't know.. All the medication I'm on is just drained me and bloating me out.. Sometime I feel so tired that I feel like I may not wake up.. And if that happens I just want you to know that I will be your guardian angel and watch and protect you and your family to the best of what GOD allows me too.. Don't worry I won't hang in your BED ROOM..LOL
I know I sound totally dramatic.. And this letter isn't meant to bring you down or upset you.. I just want you to know that I'm always thinking about you and sometimes I even dream that I'm right next to you doing the things that I wish I had the strength to do.. You have been the best friend I ever had... I want you to know that.. I consider myself lucky that I know you and your family.. If I can go back in time I wouldn't have wasted all that time letting a person like Lisa rob me of that time, that I should have spent with you... Someone that is a true-friend... Some of my favorite time was when I would pretend that carly and jake were like my kids and I would come over for play dates.. I know that if I could have had my own kids, but cancer and lupus stole that away.. My eggs were destroyed by the treatment long time ago.. If I had my own kids it would have been like that all the time.. I want to thank you for those memory's because in my dreams that how it was suppose to be with us.. Our kids growing up together, going to the fair and painting like we all did that one time.. Playing in the pool like we all did.. I'm just thankful that at least I had those time with you and your kids.. I know I sound like I'm feeling sorry for myself.. but I'm not.. I truly cherish those time that I got to pretend that I was a mother on a play date with my friend.. I know now that's why I put up with so much shit from her.. Not because I wanted her in my life but I felt like those kid were the closet thing I had to my own children.. Well I hope that makes some sense to you? It weird the things that go threw your head when your face with the fact that your future is one day at a time...
:upset:

[cowgal]

Life is so precious

OMG

I am BAWLING like a baby..............thanks for sharing this w/ us 4theboyz, it must be tough to deal w/..............pm me any time if you feel like talking, makes me have a "reality-check" into what is important, ...........brings things into perspective........

WOW is all I can say.

much love,:h

Mary Anne

[bostonbay]

Life is so precious

I will be praying for you also, makes my problems so small. Keep your chin up, all of us are here for you!

[KateH1]

Life is so precious

4theboys,

I am so very sorry that your dear friend is having to edure this. It sounds like you have been through a lot together, both happy and sad. I hope that you can have the time to enjoy more time together.

It is things like this that make one stop and think about what is really important. It always comes back to the simple things that we so often take for granted, health, family, friends, freedom and life.

Sending you and your friend much healing and comforting energy. Stay Strong!

xxKateH

[4theboyz]

Life is so precious

Thanks all for your kind words. I posted this because over the last 12 days I have had to reach down deep inside me to find strength where I thought there was none. Many times I wasn't sure if I was strong enough to continue on. My friend Cari's letter came to me for a reason and at a time when my emotions were low and full of self doubt. Life truly is precious and I can find the strength to carry on because I realize how I am so blessed with the life I do have left to live AF.

[livingfree]

Life is so precious

I thought ...

I thought I was having a bad day and then I read this and I felt so ashamed of myself. Life is all about the selfish perspective we have isn't it. I feel so shallow. So self absorbed. I truly believe she just touched many people in one letter. May God Bless her and give her the Grace to endure what she is going through. My prayers go up for her and you also
Stay strong for her
Liv