query

[doubter]

I am a 37 year old male from and residing in Asia. Been drinking for the last 19 years, thought myself to be a social drinker. I am an average middleclass, married man with one son holding a reasonably decent job. Yesterday, I overdrank in my Club and entered into a drunken brawl with few of my colleagues which almost ended in fisticuffs.
Am feeling terribly guilty and pained today, not to mention the loss of prestige. Also, today I'm feeling brainless( for want of a better word) lightheaded
Am I an Alcoholic?Somebody please respond ASAP.

[ducky]

query

Hi Doubter,

It's hard to say if you are an alcoholic without knowing more. But if you are concerned about your drinking then it is a problem. Sorry to hear about the incident at your club. Was it the first time something like this has happened?

Why don't you download RJ's book and give it a read?

I am sure others will respond soon. Hang in there!

[Kirova]

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Hi doubter, and welcome. There is alot of information online about alcoholism....Here's a working definition that outlines the symptoms, which I found on a University's website:

What is alcoholism? Alcoholism, also known as alcohol dependence, is a disease that includes the following four symptoms:

Craving: A strong need, or urge, to drink.
Loss of control: Not being able to stop drinking once drinking has begun.
Physical dependence: Withdrawal symptoms such as nausea, sweating, shakiness and anxiety after stopping drinking.
Tolerance: The need to drink greater amounts of alcohol to get "high."

As ducky said, it's hard to know for sure without knowing more. In addition to reading RJ's book, you should spend some time reading the boards. You'll come across alot of different stories from people at various stages of their relationship with alcohol. That's why we're here!

[Bella]

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hi there Doubter! Welcome to MWO. Lots of support here when you need it. Bella xxx

[doubter]

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Thanks ducky, kirova & bella..I'll try to educate myself.

[Bella]

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Only you know if you are an alcoholic doubter.....just read lots of the posts and post whenever you like. there is always someone here for you to chat to. Don't feel too guilty, as it will eat you up. yesterday was yesterday... Today you are moving forward and adressing things. That can only be good. Bella xx

[hippie37]

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Hi doubter!

I think there are many preconceived ideas of what denotes an alcoholic. The normal one being the scruffy out of work person who sits in a park or town centre bench drinking cheap strong alcoholic beverages. Alcoholics come from all walks of life and going along the AA guidelines "you are an alcoholic if you say you are". If your life is becoming unmanageable due to your drinking then it is certainly a sure sign that you have a problem. I wouldn't be too quick to judge or label yourself as I think this can only cause more confusion and negative thinking. There are many places to start and MWO forum is one of the best places you can start by reading some of the posts and try and see if you can identify with other peoples trials and tribulations with alcohol. I'm here because I simply cannot control my drinking at all. Moderating is not an option for me as one drink will have me back in the gutter, it is that simple. I have a 3 year old daughter whom I love dearly and I want/need to become a better father to her and she is my driving force to stay sober. I'm now 38 and like yourself I've drunk for most of my adult life. I actually started drinking properly at the age of about 14 and I've lost 10 years of my life through drinking and not facing up to my responsibilities.

Love and Happiness
Hippie
xx

[doubter]

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Thanks

Thanks hippie for the inspiring reply. If u have time and r online currently can we chat for a few minutes? I desperately need a shoulder to cry on now

[Cinders]

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Doubter,

I agree with what everyone has said, only you know if you are an alcoholic.

I know without a doubt I am but it took a long time for me to face it. It is also taking me a long time to beat it but have no doubt, I am going to beat it no matter what.

This is a very good place. A lot of caring understanding people here.

I am so sorry you had the fight with your friends, AL does that to us sometimes. Hopefully those relationships can be repaired BUT the first thing to do is figure out what YOUR next steps are.

Read the book and read the posts. You gain a great deal of insight and understanding here.

:welcome:
Cindi

[4theboyz]

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Hey there Doubter,

For me anger was/is the number one emotion that was only harder to control when drinking and in retro was outright ugly at times.

You probably know this but your colleagues deserve an apology and the simpler the better IMO. We are only human and our faults certainly get the best of us unfortunately AL takes advantage of this weakness.

Personally, AL never got me into trouble with my peers or my family but my drinking consumed my daily life and had to stop. Am I an alcoholic, IMO without a doubt, but most who know me except my wife, wouldn't have suspected. A break from AL will let you better reflect on it's role in your life. Best wishes.

[doubter]

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Ducky, Kirova,Bella, Hippie37,4theboyz,
thanks all of u for responding to my post. Everyone of you have give a piece of advice that has lifted my spirits. More importantly, to know that there are people like u out there ready to respond to a human being in distress is very assuring.
Already I'm feeling better.Lets stay in touch.
Doubter

[Cinders]

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Doubter,

Yes. Let's stay in touch.

Hang in there. Life does get better, with some pitfalls, if you sober up.

We will be here for you...

Love,
Cindi