Fail and fail again.

[Seraflame]

My small story. I first was directed to AA at 17. In New Orleans. I was told I had to abandon every drinking buddy I had. Leaving me with no friends, and a bunch of alchoholics who had zero common ground with me, and made the *fellowship* shallow indeed.

I tried and failed for 12 years. I quit when I realized that no sponsor was able to treat with a young alcoholic .I had to learn to deal with the idea that being alone as a young adult can cripple you just as surely drunk or sober.

I am now 36 and just as alone. I have a beautiful wife. I have a child on the way. My drinking, as expected, has accelerated. It isn't as bad as my addiction to niccotine yet, but it's close. I am now slowly killing myself with my drinking, I am also destroying my relationship with my wife and unborn child.

I hate it. I hate myself. I hate going to the grocery and going straight to the liquor aisle. I know my wife sees it, and I am more ashamed but cannot help myself.

My wife has been fantastically patient with me. She cannot understand the draw to alcohol i now have. She asked me to come to this site, after I admitted to my failure with AA, and my reasons behind it.

I am now at a crossroad. I am drunk as I post this. I cannot survive my current rate of driniking much longer. I will not subject myself to the holier than thou attitude of AA again.

I have no recourse. I love my wife. I love her son, I love our unborn child. I am at the mercy of a chemical I cannot conquer.

M

[Wattle]

Fail and fail again.

Hi Seraflame

Welcome to MWO - we have all travelled this road that you are on... and yes it is tough but the love, support and friendship you will find on this site will give you the strength to fight this devil..

I found MWO when I was in need of support - I had tried the " other" support systems out there... but nothing worked. Here I can get support every minute of every day.... there is always someone here who does understand..

Keep coming back and keep asking questions.... this will work out for you.

My best....

Wattle

[Seraflame]

Fail and fail again.

Wattle;291447 wrote: Hi Seraflame

Welcome to MWO - we have all travelled this road that you are on... and yes it is tough but the love, support and friendship you will find on this site will give you the strength to fight this devil..

I found MWO when I was in need of support - I had tried the " other" support systems out there... but nothing worked. Here I can get support every minute of every day.... there is always someone here who does understand..

Keep coming back and keep asking questions.... this will work out for you.

My best....

Wattle

I am no longer so much concerned for myself, I am concerned for my wife, her son, and my unborn child. I feel alone.

M

[barebones]

Fail and fail again.

im sry sera that u had that experience with a AA group. they cant tell u in what u have to do they only supposed to suggest. have u tried going to other meeting else where around new orleans. there should be diffrent ones. i just stareted AA 2 months ago and never got that, everything was suggested to me. my husband drinks, so should i get rid of him? fuk that lol i just have to adapt around it.

but nvm im sry it didnt work out for u, maybe one day u may try it again and might get a diffrent response.

just so u know im 36 and i have a daughter so i do understand what ur going through. ive tried all sorts of things to try and stop me. but it never worked. going to AA meetings 4 times a week over my bad days, it helps. and also ive picked up two old hobbies, i go to the gym and i go horse riding. i lost all that through drinking.

if u got any concerns or just want to talk or looking for advice im allways about, even though im new here myself. i have only 2 weeks of sober behind me which is a great accomplishment for me.

keep talking hun, and keep coming back as they say.

[Seraflame]

Fail and fail again.

barebones;291477 wrote: im sry sera that u had that experience with a AA group. they cant tell u in what u have to do they only supposed to suggest. have u tried going to other meeting else where around new orleans.
12 groups over a 10 year period. This was just New Orleans.

there should be diffrent ones. i just stareted AA 2 months ago and never got that, everything was suggested to me. my husband drinks, so should i get rid of him? fuk that lol i just have to adapt around it.
I've gone to every meeting, high or bottom. i still don't believe my way out is through shame.

but nvm im sry it didnt work out for u, maybe one day u may try it again and might get a diffrent response.
I came to this site because I exhausted my options. I will not be humiliated amongst strangers again. I can do that on my own, drunk.

just so u know im 36 and i have a daughter so i do understand what ur going through. ive tried all sorts of things to try and stop me. but it never worked. going to AA meetings 4 times a week over my bad days, it helps. and also ive picked up two old hobbies, i go to the gym and i go horse riding. i lost all that through drinking.

I'm 36 too. My liver is failing. I came here because I have failed, and my unborn child will be without a father if I continue.

if u got any concerns or just want to talk or looking for advice im allways about, even though im new here myself. i have only 2 weeks of sober behind me which is a great accomplishment for me.

I am truly happy for you. It's a great accomplishment. I came here because my wife knows I am slowly killing myself. I have no desire to do so, but with every drink, my liver takes more damage at this point.

keep talking hun, and keep coming back as they say.

That statement was all the AA meetings could offer me while telling me to abandon every friend I had. I truly admire your hope in this, and I wish nothing but the best for you. I am more than willing to abandon the mire I find myself in. I am not willing to take any more shame in a public (or a private AA) setting. I gain no more insight by pounding myself for what I did when I was drunk.

Perhaps we had different experiences. I will not subject myself to that humiliation again. Anonymous works until you see the same 20 people every day. It ceases to be anonymous any more at that point.

Good luck to you.

I came to this site because I feel hopeless. AA or it's tenants arent going to save me. I have no friends but my wife. I came here becasue my liver is failing and I am at a loss to stop it.

M

[tawnyfrog]

Fail and fail again.

Sera - I just want to say 'Hi'.

Read a bit and see if you might like to hang with us for a while. I like it here. You might find something good too.

Welcome.

[Seraflame]

Fail and fail again.

tawnyfrog;291484 wrote: Sera - I just want to say 'Hi'.

Read a bit and see if you might like to hang with us for a while. I like it here. You might find something good too.

Welcome.

Thank you, I think that was what my wife intended by asking me to register.

M

[Seraflame]

Fail and fail again.

Yet i know not where to find you. I am more inclined to flame people than I am to make friends.
M

[4theboyz]

Fail and fail again.

Hello Sera,

28 days ago I was exactly you. I drank every free moment and hated myself for it. I just got tired of being tired and messed up. I made my boys and my marriage my focal point for getting sober. What also helped is that I looked at myself through their eyes and what I saw was not all pretty. I can add that it is worth it, it *is* better here on the other side, you can get there, we can help.

[Miso]

Fail and fail again.

Welcome Saraflame,

You have come to an amazing site. There is so much information to be found here. Read, read, read. I would highly reccomend reading the book My Way Out. It is an easy read. It can also be downloaded for a reasonable fee. It reccomends taking supplements (some for the liver) to help get the nutrient robbed body back to feeling better. The supps have really helped me. Getting yourself back in a healthier condition makes it easier to go after this problem we all share. The book also discusses medications that can help with the fight. Stick around and get better with us.

Miso

[hart]

Fail and fail again.

Welcome Sera

I'm a hard person to flame. I'm struggling too. I differ in that my hubby is an alcoholic too and is NOT seeming to want to get help. I also dislike AA, but it works for some and for that I am glad. I have an addictive personality too. We will support you here, challenge you, and have your back..... I'm glad your wife encouraged you to come here. Stick around and learn.

[Breez]

Fail and fail again.

As you can see....you're no longer alone. You're now surrounded by a diverse bunch with so much to offer and share. Read the book, get aquainted with the boards, ask as many questions, develop a plan and goal and never give up.

Glad you found us! Attached files [img]/converted_files/458980=3135-attachment.gif[/img]

[KatieSmiles]

Fail and fail again.

Welcome Mike,

Stay with us, read, and post often. There are many great posts here that may help you in your journey towards sobriety.

Peace
K

[poohbear]

Fail and fail again.

Hello Mike and just wanted to echo what others have said. This is a great support site and the longer you stay around reading and posting the more you will learn. This is a horribly baffeling disease but it is not one that is without hope. I struggle too on a daily basis, I risk loosing everything also, my marriage and my children. You are not alone hun, we understand and will do everything within our power to help you. I too advise you to read up on the supps and what they can do for you. There are some out there that you can take to help curb the cravings.

Good luck, stick around and you will be amazed at how much you can change about yourself in a short amount of time.

[Victory]

Fail and fail again.

Hi sera, :welcome: You can only fail if you give in, and we won't let you. AA didn?t work for me either, but this site is really helpful. Hope to see you around the boards. Aunty Vic