well I am on the edge

[Betternow]

I have not shared my story, which is very long.t I am lately much in control. Sort of.
I am mad at my myself. I had a few really great days of moderation. I woke up feeling great..Can I please kick the Beast? Tonight I wanted more, much more. I envy people who
never have these cravings? I wanted a shot of vodka my beast, I wanted a bottle of wine.
I wish I never had these thoughts, It is very hard sometimes not to get drunk,.

love

[4theboyz]

well I am on the edge

Hello Better,

Funny, I logged on specifically because I wanted to purge my own vodka cravings, I wonder too if they will ever go away. My mistake was sitting down, gotta keep busy it seems or AL comes a knockin'. Deep breaths and it usually goes away. Inhale....exhale....inhale....

[Betternow]

well I am on the edge

I wish I had never drank at age 14, I am now 37. I wish to only feel pleasure but not an alchohol faze. My husband hates my drinking, even though he occasionally drinks. I want a better life. Sometimes it is so hard
love

[elsie17]

well I am on the edge

Its ok better now.I am a fairly new member, and don't post much at the moment,but Its late and some of these people have to go to work or bed,depending on the time! but when they pick up on your thread, they will be right with you! But if you can settle for me 4 now,then hey stick with us and you'll be fine, ok? bless youxxx

[Betternow]

well I am on the edge

Thanks I am trying. you know, every story I relate to. I am getting over the flu for the 2nd time this year and I made pack with GOD to get it together. i truely need all the help. Because I used to come home blitzed out of my mind for several years.

[Betternow]

well I am on the edge

Navel to spine as my yoga instructor would tell me. I must breathe to live. Navel to spine.
One day at a time.

[Noelle]

well I am on the edge

Betternow...what's up? How're you doing? Do you need some help?

[Not Happy Hour-Happy Life]

well I am on the edge

Welcome Better Now... how are you feeling?

The first couple of days, the power of alcohol will sneak up and grab you, for just "one shot" of vodka- trust me. You want a better life, and you DESERVE that~ with your husband first, and alcohol second, right?

Here's the deal I made with myself: at the beginning, I just went for 30 days of sobriety, so that I could clean my system out and decide about moderation later. Thirty days is really not that long of a time, and the happy hour neon light is brightly lit at the end of the tunnel. Can you make that type of commitment for yourself?

Other people have said, "F" it to alcohol and dumped it right down the drain~ ADIOS, AL-Amigo! Do you need to exterminate your home? On one hand, it seems like a "waste" of money, but on the other hand, when you get wasted on it, you are a waste of honey, you know? :l

Moderation may be possible, but put it on the shelf, next to the margarita salt and shot glass. My other trick was to place photos of my "before".... pictures of me with my kids (when my son was in first grade and had just completed his first concert, dressed up like a mouse! I look at that picture, and I see ME. Without the fog- no glassy look to be embarrassed by today.). Anyway, I have pictures from about 5 years ago placed in casual, but strategic locations- near the liquor cabinet, on the beer fridge in the garage, in my car on my visor, and in my daytimer- so that I remember WHY I'm not drinking today.

Maybe a wedding picture? Do you have kids?

It IS hard. But you deserve that better life. I hope we can help you find it. Much love, :heart:

[nancy]

well I am on the edge

Hi Better Now!

So, you are 37 now and have had this problem for a while. It's really not surprising that it is hard to quit is it? This is probably your crutch and obsession. You are attached to something really poisonous yet which must offer you some relief.

Have you ever tried to quit for a while? A week or a month? It's really encouraging when you achieve that. It can be done, even though it probably seems impossible to you right now.

One of the biggest obstacles, in my view, toward getting better is the idea of alcohol as the forbidden fruit. My advice is: accept that you crave it at the moment and look for ways to change your relationship with booze.

Check out Alan Carr's book: Easy Way to Control or Stop Drinking for tips on the illusions was as individuals and a society attach to alcohol.

i think for a lot of women, alcohol equates a crutch. If you are like this you are not alone.
Sure your husband doesn't like your drinking. But focusing on that is going to just make you focus on negative/blame type of things as motivators to make a change. How do you yourself feel about it? Do you care enough about yourself to make a change?

[Betternow]

well I am on the edge

Thanks, I am actually doing better than I used too. Do you know I am trying to do better.
Everyday last year I schemed How I would hide alcohol and consume alcohol. I would find many ways to bring it in my house. I still drink but not as much. But still too much, One da y i wanted to be alcohol free? Navel to spine

[Betternow]

well I am on the edge

I dream of alcohol free days.

[nancy]

well I am on the edge

Well, it's great that you are making progress, but I suppose if you are still so unhappy and feeling "on the edge" more needs to be done.

It sounds like you can't moderate very well and need to just cut it out for a while. What is the longest you have gone without booze and how did you feel?

I remember going 6 months once. It was amazing. I know I have that under my belt so it's possible in theory.

What kind of bad consequences is your drinking causing you now?

[nancy]

well I am on the edge

By the way, one great thing about your dream of AF days, it's totally possible, achieveable. It's not the moon you are seeking, if you read through this site you can find a lot of success stories (you might need to look for slightly older posts).

I know there are a lot of chemical issues here, but one thing to me seems undeniable: the personal will, determination to make this happen is perhaps the most important factor in success.

[Betternow]

well I am on the edge

I think I remember In my twenties going for 6 months. I remember my 20thies being sober a lot.
My 30's not so much. I hate this

[nancy]

well I am on the edge

Well, so you did it in your 20s. You could do it again. Were you happy during that period?
Why don't you list some adjectives describing how you felt. What helped you get and stay sober? six months is a long time. you are more mature now and, well,it's possible that it might be even easier now.

One thing I would really advise is to take good care of yourself, even when you are letting yourself and your husband down. You have a problem and you need a solution.

My advice is that if this problem is causing severe life disruption (in my book= DUIs, loss of children), to consider medication, possibly the whole My Way Out program.

Or if not, try a week without anything, take care of yourself that week, drinking herbal teas, exercising etc.


But throughout, remember you are not a bad person because you have this problem. Do you believe that? I hope so.

Nancy

PS periods of doing a bit better can misguide us to think that we can moderate, when in fact we cannot.