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[Noelle]

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This probably IS the missing piece...

Some of us would be called the missing link. I won't mention any names.

Yeah, you gotta hang around here as much as possible. Going to chat is good too. Good luck to you!

[BigMac]

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Noelle;307456 wrote: Some of us would be called the missing link. I won't mention any names.

Please do... :thanks:

[lillyatter]

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Good for YOU BigMAc!!!You have got it all together,now.Don't feel bad...It's a LOT to take on and remember...I did the same thing,started taking the Topa,read the book,started taking some of the supps,but left out the obvious "put your MIND into it"...kind of thought the topa was going to be a magic pill :H!Couldn't understand why I was also drinking right thru it!So don't be hard on yourself...You are only HUMAN for God's SAKE!Sounds like you are REALLY ready to go to the next level now and make some shit HAPPEN!!YEAH,BABY!WE CAN DO IT!!I am SO WITH YOU,we'll do it TOGETHER,OK?I think I was just not a person that was going to go cold-turkey,and maybe you were,too...so we take a little longer!We will still SUCCEED:l.....

Hope you are having a positive new day!Love and :huggy:to you,Darlin.......

[livingfree]

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Lilly is right - you will get it in your time - the important thing is NEVER stop trying! Keep posting and coming back here. It does make a huge difference

[lillyatter]

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How ya doing today,B'MAC?I have a headache beacause I STUPIDLY drank too much last night....pretty f-ing dissapointed in myself,as it has been at least a couple weeks that I have done that to myself...Had an EXTEREMely stressful day...so-WHAT DO I DO???Yep-you guessed it!And you know how you said,B-mac,that you don't even crave it 1/2 the time on the topa?Me NEITHER!SO WHY THE HELL??!!@#%^*.I know it was my brain just going to "auto-pilot"....NOT AGAIN!I did miss one of my topa doses yesterday cuz needed a break from the awful LEG TINGLES and FOOT BUZZING....(Hey,at least my FEET are geeting a good buzz on eveyday..(NOW THAT"S something to add to my "postives of not drinking list!"),so maybe that was part of it....I don't know,but today is a new day!Wondering how you are feeling today?

[BigMac]

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Hey lillyatter, I don't know the answer to 'why the hell?!?' I've been asking myself that for years. I'm doing fine; well into day 3 AF (day 3 consecutive that is - day 40 of MWO program). I really need to do the 30-day AF thing to clear my mind and body. I haven't been able to drink like a normal person for as long as I can remember so I really don't think moderation will ever be an option for me. What's your goal? Short term and long? I'm cutting back on the Topa because it just makes to too damn tired all the time. I can't workout and always want to sleep. I think a low dose along with the supps will be enough to keep the cravings at bay, for me at least. Good luck!!!

[FloridaBoy]

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BM,

I have just passed day 30 AF and am beginning to feel really good. Life is looking a lot better...like having cataracts removed...go for it. Like Nike sez...just do it.

P.S. I have never been able to drink like a normal person either. What I finally realized is that I just should not drink. Not a bad thing really.

FB

[BigMac]

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Congrats FB! I'm into Day 5 AF and feeling pretty good. Still trying to adjust to the Topamax. It makes me really tired, or is that just the AL getting out? Hey, thanks for the email. I agree, with AL in your life (for people like us) it just gets in the way of everything; job, family, health, money, you name it man. So stay in touch and best of luck to you and everyone else! Happy Saturday. Sunday to those Down Under. :rays:

[Kayla]

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Bigmac,

Your mail struck a chord with me, regarding the drinking again but not out of craving'. Makes you wonder who/what is in control. I get the same way. I don't feel any real craving, yet drink anyway. I guess this just highlights the fact that addiction is not just a physical condition ... and therefore can't be dealt with by drugs alone.

Hope you can keep posting here and air your experiences,
I think this act of sharing and accountability is tremendously healing
Wishing you the best

Kayla

[Guest]

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During the first week it's normal to feel tired and your body is used to alcohol sugar - so eat plenty.

[Cinders]

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BigMac,

Good morning from Alabama!

I hope you are hanging in there and doing okay. Some people have found lower dosages of topa still very helpful. I believe MM found that 50 mg once a day in the evening was enough for her.

Yes, not drinking is also a mental thing. I agree totally!! As a matter of fact, the physical part is done within at the most 10 days. Well, the physical addiction part, many of us have done damage to our bodies and the healing will last for months.

I have found, though, that after 10 days it gets easier and easier to deal with the urges and kick AL off your shoulder. In truth, some days are harder than others and it is irritating to deal with it but it is doable. I find many times when AL tries to whisper in my ear "just one" would be so nice, I am able to distract myself and I actually end up smiling when I succeed because I beat the little sob!!

Keep on beating AL back and you will find the days go by without much struggle and you will also find that slowly you are able to replace the usual times and rituals of drinking with other things. You will also find you are happier without AL and your life starts to get better.

Good luck to you. And remember, if you do slip, it is not an 'all or nothing' deal here at MWO. No one can ever take your AF days from you. If you slip (not excusing you if you do but it does happen to us) then you jump right back in and keep on keepin' on.

Life is way to short to dwell on our mistakes, we have to take the bull by the horns and make every day count as best we can.

Love and strength,
Cindi
XXIX

[PeggySue]

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Dear Big Mac,
I am like you... I read a lot here and have been back and forth forever, but I don't post much. I don't know why... it's like I "lurk" out in cyberspace and read, but won't really jump in feet first.

I made it almost 4 months AF...and then I didn't crave it, I just started back to my old habit of drinking a bottle of wine every night. I am just so sick of myself, I can't stand it.

But I read a bunch of posts this morning, and I see people who are successful at their goals.... I wish and want to do that. You keep trying, and so will I. Unfortunately, it is day 1 again for me for the zillionth time.
Peg

[BigMac]

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Hi all, thanks for the updated advice and posts! I have not had a slip since I finally reached out and started this thread! 7 Days AF :thanks: It's sooo important to have active, caring support (in my opinion). The book, Cd's, supps, etc are tremendous, but if you sit there by yourself and pop your pills and read your book and listen to your Cd's there is still a very, very large hole left unfilled by the sudden absence of AL.

So PeggySue, jump in feet first! join the Booze Busters 30 Day Challenge Thread. It has helped me a lot.
Cindi, thanks for the very informative post!
Ublonde, I ate an entire large pizza last night... I think that was taking it to the extreme, but a food hangover is 100 times better than the alternative!
Kayla, thanks for the best wishes and glad it struck a cord. Try the 30 Day Challenge with me too!

[FloridaBoy]

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BM,

Fill the AL hole leaves with something else. Anything else. Like a pizza. When we drink we know we are not going to stop. *I* know I am not going to have one or two...six packs maybe, but not single beers. When we do drink, we know it is not good for us and we get mad at ourselves. We get bummed and drink again. It is a cycle that sux. I just convinced myself that I am tired of it and the hangovers are just no fun.

FB

[BigMac]

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Hey FB & all,

Yes,,, what to do with that big hole in our lives that remains once we remove alcohol?? I mean, I spent a hell of a lot of time drinking (or planning it, driving to the store, etc...) and now all of a sudden I have all of this free time. Where did it come from? I'll be on the couch and think, 'it cannot only be 8PM..' But I've managed to start several projects around the house and get back to the gym. I also spend a lot of time here.

So stay busy and come back often. Ask for help when needed and you'll be surprised how quickly and how many people jump in to help. It's a very caring group of people here at MWO. -Steve 'BigMac' - 8 Days AF today