Hi

[Bella]

Hello all you lovely people.

Tonight I am drinking. I'm feeling a little down. Please don't send me any nasty pms....I'm trying and I usually succeed in moderating. I suppose i just would like a friendly 'ear' .....! Are there any nice looking friendly ears out there?! The bigger the better!!! I suppose I'm a bit of a saddo really, but hey ho.....keep the old chin up eh! Being serious,,,,I would ideally like to get off my face so I don't have to deal with the madness in my head. But..the madness comes back unfortunately the next day. Sometimes I think about ending it all because I know it would be over then...Like my brother.... but responsibilities stop me from doing that. Responsibilities are a bummer aren't they. !

Anyway, enough of self pity....I am happy sipping. I'm lonely I think and just a little bored of being a mother, a lover, a cook, a cleaner and nothing else......please don't think I'm a horrible person. I'm not...I've just lost Bella somewhere down that long line. Now Bella drinks to get high...Not a pretty sight I would say. I would rather get high through Flying lessons!!!! Umm...still trying to pluck up the courage to do that.

ahh well, time to get more beer....or a coffee...

Bella X

[betty boop]

Hi

Bella ........... sweetie .........

I don't have big ears but I can listen .......

Whats up chuck?????

BB xx

[Guest]

Hi

Oh honey,

You are a new Mom, it is very hard. Being a Mom is the hardest and most rewarding Job I have ever had. Somedays you just don't want to get out from under the covers, but you have too because you have a child to raise.

We all get fleeting moments of thinking it would be easier to just end it; but where is the fun in that? Life is too wonderful when you think about it. I want to see the wonderful woman my daughter is growing up to be; I want to feel the cold ocean water and the sand between my toes.. to sit out at night and roast marshmallows around my fireplace in my yard. I can never get enough of looking into the eyes of the one I love. Too many pluses...

You are wonderful girl, and I know the struggle you have had. I am here for you if you ever need to chat. If you want my personal email send me a note and I'll send it to you. Or if you want I can call you, I know you're 4 hours ahead of me..so it's 9:25pm there. I have calling cards, no worries!

Smile honey; you're gorgeous when you smile... xoxoxox

[Bella]

Hi

Hi Betty, I'm downing my beer like a gooden now coz my husband will be back in 30 minutes......yikes!!!

No time to sit in gloom and doom, but thanks for returning the call! B X

[Bella]

Hi

thankyou for that Gia...your words are so poetic...The sand between my toes....reminds me of when I was in Thailand..a single chick and ready for what life had to offer. Im fine really. Just want more beer! Anyway, thanks again. X

[Guest]

Hi

I loved Thailand...where did you go?

[Bella]

Hi

ko sumoui and ko-panyang but ko-panyang was too full of "full-moon" parties....I spelt Ko-panyang wrong..sorry!!!

[Guest]

Hi

I've only been to Phuket...it was nice though. Nice warm water and the buffets were great! More so when you're carrying and huge like a whale!

[Bella]

Hi

What do you mean...a huge like a whale|????

[betty boop]

Hi

Hi guys i've been to Bangkok and Phuket too ......

Can't wait to go back again .............

[keeta]

Hi

Hey Bella,
how are you doing?

I can sort of relate to being the cook, the maid, the lover...I do for every one, but some how...*I* got lost in the shuffle.

If you ever need an ear...a shoulder...feel free to pm me.

Take good care, and do something nice just for you!

hugs,
K

[brittzak]

Hi

Bella,
Dang girl...sorry to hear you are struggling so. SUCKS, God knows I know!!!! A Mother, lover, cook...that is a heck of A LOT! I luv u! PM me any time!!!!

[Thankful]

Hi

It's so easy to feel unappreciated by our families. I think many here can relate to that.

Maybe you could get a hobby. What is that you like to do?

Hang in there, Bella. Check in with us tomorrow.

Love, Me
:l

[gelgit]

Hi

Hey beautiful Bella, I've never been to Thailand but I've spent a lot of time in the same place as you are now. I would give anything, sell my soul, slit my throat (anything but more AL) only if I could go back in time and cancel all the booze I've poured down my gullet, all the pain I caused myself and my children besides all the money I blew.:soapbox: Tomorrow's a brand new day, tonight is a brand new night. You have to love yourself first :h g.