Desperate

[want_to_be_sober]

Hey guys. Here again. Went for detox to the clinic for the second time and didnt make it. I started drinking heavily again (1 litre of vodka per day). My mother spoken with psychiatrist and ended up to go to the government hospital for detox but is a long procedure (we have started) i need at least 2 weeks to get in, how will i make it i feel helpless and so tired i cannot go to the job from monday.. i am so tired. I just want to get asleep and not woke up again. I am crying right now and drinking wine.. I hate it.. Any comments are more than welcome.. thank you all

[nancy]

Desperate

Hi there

I guess I am wondering what rehabs you went to and whether there are other options.
Also, if I were you, I would strongly consider medication. Did you look at our medication threads? The med recommended by this program is Topa and a lot of people are experimenting with Antabuse. Naltrexone is another one that looks good and seems to help reduce consumption.

I am not a fan of AA but I do think the face-to-face contact with other alcoholics can be so valuable.

You feel desperate now but things can look up. Have faith in yourself to change and you will do better.

Take care
Nancy

[bloggy]

Desperate

Dear Want

I am so so sorry that you are having such a hard time. Al is a demon, but many of us have been where you are now, and bit by bit we find the tools and strength to slowly make our way back up again.

It is not an overnight process but all the while you are filling up with Al you will just feel worse and more depressed. Alcohol is a depressant hence those feelings of just wanting to die.

Could you not wean yourself off over the next few days? Take just a few tiny sips once an hour to keep the worse of the withdrawals at bay, aftewr a few days you will start to feel stronger and take less. It takes me about 4 or 5 days to come down this way, but in the meantime at least I can manage to function. Then maybe ask about some Antabuse or another drug that makes it impossible for you too drink?

There are quite a few of us taking it here- for me it is the only guarantee I have that I won't drink.

On the bright side you are still very young and you can beat this beast- and you still have the whole of your life ahead.

[DeeBee]

Desperate

want-to-be-sober,

I am not eperienced enough to give you advice - I hope someone is on-line who will reply soon. All I can offer is my support and a shoulder to lean on!!

If you want to talk I'll be on-line.

Dee

[AAthlete]

Desperate

I would agree with Nancy. I don't try to promote AA here but as she said, they offer face-to-face contact and tremendous support to the newcomer. Sometimes it can help you make that first step towards sobriety whether you stick with it long-term or not.

[Cinders]

Desperate

Want,

Yes, this is a very strong addiction. I know very well. I went to rehab in Nov, relapsed within a month. Went to detox in Spring, relapsed in 2.5 months. Went to Rhonda Lenair and relapsed immediately.

I am now sober again, taking Antabuse, going to AA, sticking close to MWO and finally starting to feel like I "get it." I can't drink. Nada. None. Nothing. Nil. Zilch.

If I pick up one drink, I now know that is the end of my sobriety. I am not sure how many sobers I have left in me. Not too many, I am pretty sure.

Want, you must get to the point where you head and your heart know you cannot drink. And you need some support. I love MWO and I love AA. I am not a big "stepper" but I sure do love the caring and advice I get from both of these places.

I also absolutely LOVE being sober. I hate not being able to drink but I finally love being sober more than I hate not being able to drink.

Never quit trying to quit. No matter what.

You are fighting for your life AND your life is absolutely worth fighting for. :l:l

Love,
Cindi

[RoadWarrior]

Desperate

Dearest Want-to-be-Sober - keep up the fight! You are not alone, we are all here with you. Listen, you feel so bad now, but you will not always feel this way. You WILL get better. The treatment WILL work. Hang in there!