Well, I'm DEFINITELY feeling shame and embarassement, which isn't helping at all.
That's feeding the "stinkin' thinkin'" which can get out of control.
And I have no idea how to deal with the stuff that makes me want to drink, such as intense pain or to slow my brain down from the high speed negative train and switch over to a meandering tour bus, or when I'm feeling so freaking frustrated about my body not being able to work normally, not being able to do normal things, having everything I do always hurt, always be something I have to think about, plan for, evaluate, when I just need a break from constantly FEELING it all the time.
I need another solution, but I don't know what to do. The alcohol was the only thing that consistently worked.
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