What am I doing Wrong?

[whitemarshmom]

What am I doing Wrong?

yes, honestly she did recommend 5 or 7 days or a couple weeks or longer. You are absolutely right. I will chck for the L-Glut for my ride home... Health store?

[BecomingMeAtLast]

What am I doing Wrong?

Yes, any health store will have it. And no ponys for you young lady. If I have to stop this car one more time... :H

Take care, buddy :l
Be

[whitemarshmom]

What am I doing Wrong?

LOL! THANKS BUDDY!! TALK TO YOU SOON! Luckily I am working from home today, as I have a new babysitter that started today, so I wanted to make the transition easy for the kids so no temptation of ponys today.......(or tomorrow, or the next day or the next day or the next day or the next day )

[Cinders]

What am I doing Wrong?

WMM,

I am glad Larisa chimed in. She is following the program the same as you are.

On the "medications" forum there are threads about Topa you might want to read. Some people realize a reduction in craving very early on, others have to get up to a very high dosage.

#1. No ponies for you!!
#2. Stick with the plan.
#3. L-Glut is good because of the sugar cravings that alcohol abstinence or reduction brings on. It is harmless (I think) and used by many others than just drinkers. It also helps with carb cravings.
#4. I sure hope some more Topa experienced people jump into this thread. I very much would like you to have the opportunity to do this program to its best and hope it works for you.

Drinkers like AWIP and myself cannot moderate. If you read RJ's book, even she talks about "us."

Some of us have gone way past the point of no return. Drinking is not an option for us. Moderation has no meaning.

But, we have people here who have very successfully moderated, we have people here who gave it their best shot and realized they could not and we have people here who realized from the first sign on that it was not an option.

If I were you, I would give moderation your best shot. If it doesn't work. Stand back and reevaluate.

Best of luck to you!!

and remember, NO ponies!!

Cindi

[evie]

What am I doing Wrong?

Hi there wmm!:welcome:
some great advice already given. I just wanted to say too that I had a higher dose of the topa before it had any effect.... will power was also needed.
I'm no way near there but am drinking less and now without any topa. I guess the more af days ( and not even strung together) the clearer you can think and stay strong.
I totally understand the stressful evenings...have 3 children (youngest 3) and hubby away quite alot. It is hard! But def do-able!
By the way what is a pony?!
Hope tonight is going ok for you
all the best
Evie

[whitemarshmom]

What am I doing Wrong?

A pony is a small bottle of wine, the kind that come in the little 4 pks, like sutter home. Not sure about the oz exactly, but certainly does the trick til I get home to my box. Although it used to be only one. and I used to be able to wait til I was about 15 minutes from home, now if it is in my car, I start soon after I get in my car, AL is sooo sneaky, it's happening so fast. Thanks for all your words and advice. I am starting with NO PONIES! Next week is my Topa increase...On my way to the bathroom for some Kudzu! I can feel the cravings kicking in already, and its only 2PM

[evie]

What am I doing Wrong?

Oh they don't do that here in UK,
I know those cravings are bad but they DO NOT last forever! One minute, hour at a time. Al is such a con merchant eh ... makes you think that it is the answer to your needs!
Thinking of you and hoping you are feeling supported in this. You are not alone!
:l

[CS04]

What am I doing Wrong?

I never knew they were called ponies. I bought them for the 1st time this past summer (long stupid story). But please, no drinking in the car! A DUI is the LAST thing you want -- think of how terrible you would feel if had to spend the night in jail and not be with your kids.

[LVT25]

What am I doing Wrong?

Some great advice here already, but I wanted to add a couple of things. I started out with the program thinking I could drink moderately right away. After a couple of tries (and ending up drunk) I finally committed to 30 days AF. What a world of difference, I can't even explain it! I went 60+ days and had a little to drink at a wedding. Now I hardly ever drink. I was drinking almost nightly.
Something else I realized about myself is that when I had that "craving" if I would eat and/or drink something (not al) the craving would go away. There's actually a reason for that--hypoglycemia.
Give it a try--you won't regret it!

[Wannabsober]

What am I doing Wrong?

Hi there. I just started the program this week also and have been waiting for the cravings to subside (am taking Topa). I even upped my dosage because I am so desperate for some leverage on the willpower side of this battle. I drink a bottle of wine or more per night, every night and more on weekends.
Last night was my first AF day since I started on the Topa. It felt great. What I did was keep busy after work, basically disrupt my normal evening routine. I do have a 5 year old son, so I just brought him along with me. I even went to the gym for a little exercise. I told myself I could have some wine if I really really wanted when I got back, but I had to put in 20 mins of healthy activity first. So I actually ended up doing 35 mins and when I got home I didn't feel like having any wine!
Best of luck to you. Think positive.

[Snapdragon]

What am I doing Wrong?

You aren't alone

Hi WMM

I?m very new to this so my input probably isn?t as valuable as most others, however your story sounds so like mine and I want you to know that you aren?t alone in this.

After several false starts where I thought I could just cut down AL (while taking sups for curb craving) I now realise this isn?t possible. The final straw for me was on Monday when I bought a 3 litre wine box because it was on special offer (stupidly telling myself it would last me for a few weeks) and drank the whole thing in two nights.

The problem for me is I can?t image my life without wine. It has become the most important thing in my life and my best friend over the years ? to the point where I have put it before my partner and children (cancelling arrangements so that I could stay in and drink myself into oblivion rather than spend time with them!). How ridiculous that I could ?love? a liquid more than the people who mean the most to me in the whole world! I know that ? but this evil liquid has a way of constantly creeping into my thoughts.

Anyway ? today is Day 2 AF. I spent almost all day yesterday reading through people?s threads and stories on this site and feel totally inspired to be free of my addiction ? if so many other people have managed it, then surely so can I. Everyone on MWO is so supportive and non-judgemental and for the first time I feel like I can really do this.

One thing I read that is really helping me (sorry I can?t remember who posted it) was to try and stand back from your craving, look at it head on and ask yourself: ?why am I feeling this, where is the feeling coming from, how does it feel etc. It has helped me to put the craving into perspective. Kudzu and LGlut help too. I have also been taking Niacin which seems to curb any thoughts of alcohol immediately. It gives me an incredible warm flush all over, which many people hate, but I find rather pleasant. Another thing I have experienced when I don?t drink and which I have found very alarming ? is when I go to sleep, I keep waking up suddenly thinking I?ve stopped breathing and in a real panic. I took Calms and Magnesium before I went to bed last night and slept really well for the first time in ages.

Anyway ? sorry for waffling on, but I really hope that you can beat this and I pray that I can too. Keep looking at the site when you can ? and if you find it difficult to log on during the day, can I suggest you print off some of the words of advice or comments that have inspired you so that when you get a weak moment you can pull it out of your pocket.

Very best wishes to you. Snap X :l

[DeeBee]

What am I doing Wrong?

Well Done Snap, you are sounding strong and motivated... keep plugging away!

[frances]

What am I doing Wrong?

Just thought I'd add my support to you WMM and you too snapdragon. Another daily wine-drinking mom here - mother of two - 8 and 10 years old. You are doing great! I came to this site about a month ago and after initial thoughts of moderating right away, determined that I needed to put some AF time 'under my belt'. I'm on day 20 now! Drink tracker helps - you put your plan in - for me, finish my 30 days then moderate - and it keeps you honest and keeps you thinking about your plan. But I take it one day at a time and honestly, it is now starting to feel normal. I really do believe that my habits are changing. The big concern I have is if I do try moderating, what will happen...will I gradually slip back to my old daily drinking habits? Hopefully not. As you've heard, it's different for everyone. I plan, after my initial 30 days, to have some plan in place for moderating, like, only drink when out with friends or on a special occasion with husband. I don't want to think I can drink daily because I know that will absolutely make me slip back to the old habits of over-drinking daily. Anyway - I do strongly suggest going AF for at least 30 days. You'll be surprised at how good it feels but also at how it truly does get easier and starts to feel almost normal. I love being clear headed in the mornings!

Good luck to you!

[skempy]

What am I doing Wrong?

I have been exactly where you are, WMM and now I find myself here again. I suppose eventually we'll get it right. At any rate, start with small goals as you wait for the Topa to take effect. So firstly - NO DRINKING BEFORE OR WHILE DRIVING!!! Just keep things simple and doable. When I did the program the 1st time, I had been taking the Topa a few weeks, gradually upping the dose (I think I leveled out at 200-250) but I continued drinking right on until one morning (9/19/06) I woke up and somehow knew that was "it." And from that day I went until Thanksgiving AF - a major accomplishment for me! After that I was able to moderate for maybe a year, then the demon slowly began creeping up again. I started Topa again, but this time I just could not handle the spaciness and had to stop. However, I was able to get a handle on it myself and go mods for a good while.

Now I am back to a bottle of wine every night, so here I am again! You are going to do just fine. Take baby steps and don't be too hard on yourself. I have 3 kids and a hubby that I wish I hadn't jacked my jaws to about my love affair with wine, too. (Not like he couldn't figure it out himself, though!) Hang in there!