Okay, when I was searching for coupons for migraine meds I came across topamax. As I researched it I found out that it help alcoholism, bipolar, and weightloss. So I went straight to my doctor and had him put me on it. I have been and alcoholic and drug addict since I was 16 when my pyschiatrist put me on Xanax. I fell in love with it. I've been in and out of AA, NA, Celebrate Recovery. Xanax had been ruling my life for 24 years. I would go doctor shopping, forge prescriptions and buy it from friends. It became a better drug for me than alcohol. I still drank and when i started I couldn't stop. But I would have prefered the Xanax over the alcohol. My whole family has addiction issues. The second day I was on Topamax it was great! I felt like a normal person for the first time in my life. I didn't even desire the Xanax. I bought a six pack to test it and I only drank half a beer.I had been drinking two tall boys a day just to get through it for my nerves.If I had the chance I would have been getting wasted but My husband would have kicked me out for sure. I went back to my doctor and told him my experience. I told him he would never have to prescribe me Xanax again. There was one problem I had a prescription already at the pharmacy for five more months of Xanax. I went there and still having an addicts mindset I got 30 pills just for a last farwell and told the pharmasist to cancel the rest of my prescriptions. I made it very clear to him I did not want to be allowed to purchase anymore. I went home with my 30 pills and noticed that there where still refills on my bottle. Well I didn't call back thinking I might need them later sometime HA HA. I soon became pychologically addicted again to the Xanax. this has been going on for about a year now. I was doing great with my drinking until my husband brought home a twelve pack of Mike's Hard Lemonade. I began having one or two a night a few times a week. Now I am drinking three every single day. I don't have to have it. If I was at a place wherrre I didn't have access to it it wouldn't bother me. But since I do have access I want it every night. My husband is not happy. He found out I was on the Xanax again and basically told me our marriage is over. I have had several crack binges since we've been married (only 5 years) but nothing in two years. I shudder to think I ever even did that stuff. the Topa took all those cravings away permanatly. So I feel like I am back where I started. Nowhere near as bad as before. Before ( I could barely function) but it seems I have this phychological need for the Xanax and alcohol. I think I am much better. but it still bothers me that I have a need for these things when I know I'm no longer physically addicted. I don't know if I can do the abs thing yet. I am getting ready to download the book. Any help anyone has would be appreciated! I searched the web for drugs to help cravings for benzos with no luck.
Thanks!
Thanks!
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