why should'nt I

[robc21]

just go back to the bottle? 4 months without and was doing well. now? It's only the lack of money that's stopping me. New Year new start my arse! same shit just new and uninteresting problems. what do you have to do to bring life back under control?

[cymru]

why should'nt I

Hi Rob.
Lets get straight to the point here. How is drinking and getting wasted going to help any of these uninteresting problems? Its not. This time next year if you keep drinking will be exactly the same.
Its up to you to get your life under control. You are in control of your future. 4 months is awsome, and you are in control now, not the bottle. Set some goals and make plans and stick to them.
You say your doing well? That tells me that not drinking has shown some positive signs.
I dont think theres one person i know of here on MWO who has gone back to drink, and found that there life has improved, and that there problems started getting solved.
All the best to you. Have a look at the Tool Box and you will find points of interest there to help.

[robc21]

why should'nt I

Thanks for the pointer to tool box... I'll take a look. Fact is there was some positives but they are far outweighed by the negatives. when I'm drunk I sleep and don't care about the world, quite an achievement in it's self, Sober you have the phone calls and work and the rest to deal with ontop of all the other crap. The problems present themselves and are demanding of an answer, hiding in the bottle you know the problems are there sure, thing is they don't weigh me down.

All those promises in rehab about how things are better sober!! Ha! seems to me the only thing about being sober is I can be more creativw in ny excuses to use. Drunk I just crash and sleep.

[Bandit]

why should'nt I

Hi Robc21 and welcome
and Happy New Year too!
I'm way behind you and your 4 months, not 2 months for me yet and yes, I am still dealing with the same shit I was before. I am finding it hard as I am getting crap if any sleep, minding two kids all day, sorting out some debts and trying to get some work done from home all at the same time without my usual few glasses every night to numb it all. But I know I am dealing with it and that for me is the difference - it will take awhile to sort it all out but after 20 years of me letting it all build up in the first place, it ain't going to happen overnight. I really do not think that anything much for me will change if i go back to drinking the way I was so for me personally I need to keep going the way I am if I want to change to my life to something that resembles what i always hoped it would be.
Best wishes
xx

[A Work in Progress]

why should'nt I

rob, I agree that promises people tell you about in rehab are not going to be very persuasive when you really, really want to drink. The only thing that is persuasive to me is the awareness in my own mind, something I can never forget or erase, of the kind of life I was leading when I was drinking. It was truly horrible, humiliating, and miserable. My life, without alcohol, is NOT all flowers and happiness, for sure... but it does not regularly feature making myself sick as a dog, getting disgustingly drunk, feeling hopeless, and thinking about suicide...

How about you? Is the life that you lead, when you are drinking, really attractive to you? If so... then by all means you might as well be drinking!

[cymru]

why should'nt I

But the problems are still there, and drunk all we do is ignore them.
I always use the thought of clearing dirty plates. You stack the plates one on top of another and before long those plates are going to come crashing down around you and the crap will go everywhere. Clear the plates one by one and you can carry on with your journey. Getting drunk and forgetting the problems isn't going to make them go away, we just wake in the morning feeling sorry for ourselves and the problems are still there, just worse.
Have a good read through the general discussion and starting out threads, and if you can download the book and have a read.

[dove]

why should'nt I

Rob,
That is the exact thinking that sends me back to drunk every few days. If drunk I get away from everything. Four months af is awesome though! Congrats. I can't even fathom doing that long af unless i was locked in a closet or jail or something! I tell myself 'really what is so good about a sober life?'. Sounds stressful and boring to me. But feeling like I do today after blacking out last night sucks too. It kinda feels like a two edged sword to me. It's so much easier to say f it all, what does it matter, and get drunk.
Dove

[dove]

why should'nt I

Sorry I didn't give you an answer to your question. I don't know why you shouldn't except that maybe tomorrow will be better if you don't.
Dove

[changemylife]

why should'nt I

I know how you feel my friend, I feel the same way right now but it will pass.

I have realized that I rather be miserable for a day than go back to the bottle an be constantly miserable.

[caysea]

why should'nt I

Hi Rob
You have put in some hard work to get to were you are.It is now not about stooping drinking but living a sober lifestyle.Would recommend to you " smart recovery". This site has some tools that i have found helpful to staying sober.I know you have heard it all in rehab .Just want to add that every day isn't great for me ,even though i don't drink ,but it is so much better than the life I was living.

Stay healthy and Keep Fighting
AF 5-16-08

[robc21]

why should'nt I

Thanks for the encouragement my new found friends... you are all very correct it would be a shame to throw all that good work out the window!

Life goes on and each day is a challenge. Maybe it's just that I am tired after doing the festive season dry. I havent been sleeping well and know that a few drinks might alleviate that. I have just contacted my support people from rehab and they have mirrored your opinions. I will and MUST be strong. The urge has passed as predicted but it was the strongest one yet. Strange that it should hit me like that out of the blue!

Life is worth living and dry is the very best way to experience it. I will have a good look at the tools. weird that I was actually looking for a site I found a few years ago that was completely the opposite to this one where they were describing the best ways to top yourself. I guess fate had a hand in that somewhere! :-)

The guys at rehab also said that if I want I could check back in but somehow I am going to try without that, in a way it's nice to know that I am not alone in this and that there is that safety net if its required.

Thanks again for those encouraging words I feel better for reading them.

[A Work in Progress]

why should'nt I

Good for you, Rob! Stick around... long-term (permanent) recovery is something that must be cultivated, and sometimes those very strong urges WILL hit you out of the blue; like you say, it's good to have a "safety net." This site could be one part of your safety net. You can get a lot of help here in setting up a solid plan that will help you to build a life free from alcohol...

[Skinned Knees]

why should'nt I

Glad to hear you're doing better today, Rob, and :welcome:. As you can see, this is an extremely supportive site. I don't know what I would do without all of them here lending a helping hand. There are so many times I just want to say "screw it". I want to escape from reality and not have to deal with it all. But, by drinking, my problems just got worse. I'm doing so much better sober. But it is a struggle. Don't ever give up! You've come such a long way.

SK

[Accountable for Me]

why should'nt I

Rob, I think you are right on the money there! I think the holidays are exhausting both mentally and physically. Not drinking through them is tough as it is! I know in the past I drank just to deal with it all. Which really didn't help at all

Good stuff about your 4 months! Your sobriety is so worth the fight. This time next year, you will be happy about not succumbing to drinking!

Keep your head up high, and keep plugging away, my friend. You are doing great and no, once you sober up things are definitely not 'better' perse. I suppressed a life time of pain, and my problems were still there when I stopped drinking. But I can honestly tell you that taking it one day at a time and dealing with one thing at a time, things are looking much brighter in my world! I am glad that a lot of this stuff I was running from is being dealt with. Once it is done and I let it go, that is when life becomes blissful.

Stick to it! We have your back!

[veritas]

why should'nt I

Rob, 4 months, well done. That is something I can only dream about right now. What an achievement. Just hang in there.