I Am Confused And Need Help To Understand

[belovedconsole]

I Am Confused And Need Help To Understand

Job

It seems like, from what you said, that your job is unstable; you feel like you might be laid off, or your hours are increasingly cutted.

That may be true, but you have influence over this; if you subconsciously still want and like your job, you might manifest this through visualisation, making friends with whatever supervisors have governance over this, and being pleasant to co-workers.

Even if it doesn't keep you your job, you will have at least had fun social interactions.

If you can really see that your job might end, you can make your resume, go online, start looking for jobs that you would like or be willing to do before you get a better job; reminding yourself, if I take a job as 'busboy' I have to be willing to look for a job I would like better; unless you enjoy busboy, which you might;

Would your wife consider getting a job, so that you and she together, could support the kids?

You have to talk to her about this; "I'm about to lose my job and I may have to take a job with a lot less money."

And, would you consider taking a job and putting the kids in daycare. We would have to pay for it, but it would be cheaper than me working at Starbucks and Subway part-time, and it would only be until the either of us could get a better job, and if we couldn't, would you be willing to weather this, with me?

And so on, and so forth.

You'll figure it out.

[sidkroken]

I Am Confused And Need Help To Understand

Beloved,

You hit it on the spot about my work.

I need to do some thinking tonight, and you have helped me with some ideas about what to think about. I will check in tomorrow and let you know how its going.

[Boss.man]

I Am Confused And Need Help To Understand

Sid you got great advice here from BelovedConsole. Best and clear.

I'm not a believer in telling the spouse, at least not at first. You need resources, and this website is a good one. Involving the spouse can risk predjudice and ignorance, particularly when the spouse shares the information with parents or siblings. My opinion is keep the struggle quiet, and conquer it quietly.

Daily drinking, and the daily need to drink is indeed a problem. It doesn't matter much whether it's 2 beers or 16 beers. The key is that your body has developed a dependence, and your long term life goals won't jibe with the dependence.

The mountain is built of very small motions of the earth. So too will your recovery come from your own learning of how to recover.

For me, cutting down a bit never worked. What has worked is to stop drinking alcohol, and substitute it with another similar AF drink. The first four days of stopping are really hard. REALLY HARD. But it gets better after that. I wish you luck. Please use this site as a resource.

[FloridaBoy]

I Am Confused And Need Help To Understand

:welcome: Lots of good advice in this thread. Taper down and come back and post. I was once where you are 6 beers+ but....no more. You can do it too.

[Aussie Chick]

I Am Confused And Need Help To Understand

Hi Sid, dont' beat yourself up. There are so many reasons why we drink, I have a similar pattern, work hard, look after my child and hubby, run a neat house, then come 6pm I wallop through a bottle of wine to "relax/chill out" etc etc.

It creeps up on you doesn't it?!

Well, I drank daily for years but it bothered me. I stayed fit, healthy etc etc and no one would have known, even my hubby didn't know how much I could drink and he could never tell as I never got drunk either.

I joined here 2 weeks ago and really surprised myself with my first day AF, then did 11 straight off, if you make your mind up it may not be as hard as you think it will be. I went cold turkey until the meds and sups arrived then have been taking them. My aim is not to give up totally but to moderate, so now I've had 3 glasses of wine in 2 weeks, 2 on one night and 1 on another. I sleep loads better too and am so pleased and positive with myself.

I told my hubby after a few days that I felt I drank a bit too much and wanted to bring it down a bit so it didn't get out of control. I didn't do the "Hi, I am an alcoholic" thing on him, no need, I just played it down but told him that I wanted to get back into recommended drinking guildlines as it can creep up if you are not careful. He's been really good and I've told him little bits more in conversation since.

Whatever you choose to do, best of luck to you and also this is a great place to start - what a super website, there are loads of people on it a lot worse than you who are doing brilliantly and have shed loads of advice/information.

Take care
AC x x