Help-What Do I Do Now?

[Cinamonkiss]

Hi:

This is my first post - I just found this site today. My question is should I begin the program now or is it more realistic to wait until I get back from my cruise?

I ultimately want to abstain from alcohol but right now I feel I can't without help. This Friday 2/20 I will be flying out of town for my father's 75th birthday celebration, where drinking will abound, and have a paid-for reservation at a hotel that has a nightly cocktail hour.

I return on 2/22, but will be leaving 3/6 for my cruise, to return 3/15. While I'd love to begin now (don't put off for tomorrow what you can do today), I feel that REALISTICALLY it will not be possible.

SO it seems my goal should be MODERATION until I return on 3/15 but how should I proceed during the brief 2/20 trip and during the 3/6 cruise?

Is it a good decision to abstain from now until 2/20, drink moderately (how should that be defined?) then abstain from 2/22 until my 3/6 cruise, drink moderately during the cruise, and begin the program when I return on 3/15?

Please advise. I need help! Thanks.

[Karl1981]

Help-What Do I Do Now?

hi there, and welcome.

its probally too far fetched to even consider not drinking on the boat, having a party for your old man.
its the norm right?

i reckon you should set your self a goal to start when you get back. maybe that will be easyer to acheive?

i hope you stay around as this place is wonderful. you can ask away 24/7 and there will all ways be someone there

take care my friend!

[jessie]

Help-What Do I Do Now?

Hi Cinamonkiss,
I don't know how serious your drinking problem is, but mine is beginning to impact my health. It happens eventually. I am doing my best to get my mindset away from - there has to be alcohol to have fun, to - lots of people don't drink alcohol at all and they have great fun. At parties, on cruises at family gatherings. The list go on. My latest tool is a list of happy people that I know who are content, successful and have lots of fun at parties.Without alcohol. I'm so serious about changing this stupid mindset of mine that I've stuck the list on my fridge.
I hope that helps a little.
Jessie.

[BecomingMeAtLast]

Help-What Do I Do Now?

Hi Cinamon!

Welcome! You have a bit of a situation, I see. Only you know what is best for you. Each of us are so different...you seem to have an answer in your post:

"Is it a good decision to abstain from now until 2/20, drink moderately (how should that be defined?) then abstain from 2/22 until my 3/6 cruise, drink moderately during the cruise, and begin the program when I return on 3/15?"

Moderation is a very subjective term. How would you define it for you? What would be successful for you? Having a plan in mind is a good idea, it's great you're thinking about it! I agree with the above, AL doesn't have to be present to have fun.

I think any days you put in that are alcohol-free is a good start. Have you read the My Way Out book? You can download it from here.

Take care,
Becoming

[A Work in Progress]

Help-What Do I Do Now?

Welcome! Stick around, read a lot, post a lot, OK? Whatever you decide about this cruise... be sure to watch your own thoughts, feelings, and behavior around alcohol, and let those be your guides. You'll get a lot of help and support here.

[cyclefan]

Help-What Do I Do Now?

Hi Cinnamonkiss, I can only relate my own experience with starting at MWO, but it is somewhat similar to your schedule. I wanted to commit to an AF time of 30 days at the minimum, but I had some rather stressful business travel scheduled when I was introduced to this site. I bought the book, the CD's, and the supplements ahead of time, and scheduled a Dr. appt. for right when I returned. I committed to an AF start date in my head and then did as WIP suggested (although I did not know WIP at the time) and paid attention to my drinking when I was away. Getting into the proper mindset is so important, I think. I was able to meet my goal of 30 days AF, in fact I extended it to 65 days without lapsing. I guess what I'm trying to say is I had the opportunity to prepare myself, and arm myself with as many tools as I could before I made the commitment to go AF, and I was able to succeed in my goals because of it. Best wishes to you.

[gypsi]

Help-What Do I Do Now?

Cinnimonkiss,

First of all, welcome to the site! I'm glad you found us. I agree with the other posters here; since you are going to be in a situation where you are almost expected to drink, you might be setting yourself up for failure if you try to change that at this point. Best plan might be to alternate between AF and moderating until after the cruise. I think the best part is that now that you have found us, you can use the time until after the cruise as a sort of learning process. Who we are, how MWO works, etc., then hopefully by the time you return, you will be well-informed and ready to take on the challenge of controlling your drinking either by abstaining or moderating. If you can, get the book and read it, and start setting yourself up for success in your mind. It will be a challenge, but one that is well worth it in the long run.

I wish you much success in your journey :l

[YoungAtHeart]

Help-What Do I Do Now?

I'll just chime in to say that I agree with all of the above. Good luck to you, and welcome aboard. This place has made such a tremendous difference in my life, and I hope it does in yours too.

[MrsSwino]

Help-What Do I Do Now?

Hi Cin,

:welcome: This site is awesome. You will find lots of advice and support here. I wish I had your problems! A party and a cruise!! Wow! I am not very experienced in giving advice to others, I just wanted to say hello and have fun on your adventures.

[Waiting for his way out]

Help-What Do I Do Now?

Cinamonkiss, firs i must tell you I don't drink, I like an occasional glass of wine, but alcohol is not my thing. I wanted to tell you that so you can decide that I don't know what i am talking about or I don't understand your problem. I have heard that from my husband of 14 years who still has a terrible problem with AL.
That said, it seems to me you are doing what we all attempt to do... Give ourselves excuses, I will start the diet on Monday, I will start the gym next month and so on.
The problem is not the alcohol around you, or the cruise or the party. The problem is AL and you.
You can choose to start when you get back in March, but be honest and ask yourself why do you want to wait.
Good luck.

[Prest4time]

Help-What Do I Do Now?

Hi Cinamonkiss... welcome

And Hi Waiting on His Way Out as well. I wanted to respond to both.

Waiting, I can completely understand where you are coming from. And if Cinamonkiss feels this is a doable challenge to undertake, I think she should. Maybe she does; but I am sensing that because she has found this site after booking her trip, she is struggling with not only the huge challenge it is to tackle drinking, but to have to do so under such tempting circumstances. It is not just about stopping because we want too, it is about removing hindrances for a season, changing our mindset. That's a little tough on a cruise. Her mindset has most likely associated vacations, family fun times, cruises, etc. with alcohol. These situations can be a huge temptation at best even for many of us who have been here a while, or have been AF for a while. I realize that alcohol is not your personal struggle, but I dont know if there is anything you could relate it too. Lets just take food for an example. What if you had the same vacation booked as Cinamonkiss, but were told you can only eat salad and veggies... no sugar. No bread. Nothing fattening. But you could have all the alcohol you want. Would that be difficult if (lets just say hypothetically) that food was your addiction and you were excited about a diet you found that you felt you could stick too. Should you start that diet while going a cruise with incredible buffets multiple times a day? Maybe you could. Most people would not succeed under those circumstances to embark on a diet.

Cinamon, if you feel the circumstances are too much to try to undertake stopping drinking while embarking on a vacation, I would personally recommend what everyone else has suggested. Just like a diet, if you fail in the starting days or weeks, your tendency will be to abandon it altogether. I would rather see you have success and set some realistic guidelines for yourself that you feel are within reason and that you can adhere too. Such as plan ahead of time how many drinks, and possibly have a family member help you stick to that if you have anyone to confide in. Secondly, make a rule to drink a glass of water between each drink and not to substitute alcohol for food. Be sure to get plenty of protein as having low blood sugar will cause you to crave more drinks. Maybe plan some things in the morning (such as an excercise class with a family member on the cruise) that will motivate you to stick to your limits the evening before. These are just a few things that have helped me in the past when travelling.

If you feel up to tackling the trips AF, then by all means, go for it! But I would tell someone you are travelling with so you can have some support. If not, I would try to stock up on everything you will need before hand.. possibly take the supplements with you as they may really help with moderating.

I wish you all the best and welcome you here. I think you will find a lot of support and encouragement.

P4T

[j-vo]

Help-What Do I Do Now?

Hi Cinamonkiss,
From my past decades of drinking experience, it's probably better to try and moderate until your vacations are over. It'll take a concious effort to do this and be successful without having been AF, but it can be done. Go to the store and get L-Glut if you can. This is known to help cravings. I don't know if you can find the kudzu like they offer here at the site, but that's another option. Good luck and come back after vaca.