ok so I need help really bad right now

[Providence]

I went to rehab in November and I met a person who was in worse shape than me see post https://www.mywayout.org/community/f7...ast-32111.html

Well she shows up at my door on Sunday and I put her out. She goes to the hospital and then comes back on Weds night. My husband lets her sleep in the guest room because he doesn't know what to do. Thursday morning I drive her to her home state let her out at a 7-11, dial the number to crisis intervention and drive away because I can't do it with her anymore.

She begs a 1.00 off someone and buys rubbing AL and drinks it. She is now in ICU

WTF do I do now?

[startingover]

ok so I need help really bad right now

Providence, it is not your problem. You have done what you can. You can only save yourself. If this woman is a threat to your peace of mind and your sobriety then you cannot have her in your life. It is not being heartless its being compassionate to YOU.
You did what you could, and asked for help for her. The remaining responsibility lies with this her to help herself.
I know its hard, but its the only way

[Providence]

ok so I need help really bad right now

I feel so hopeless right now....

I put her in my car and I drove her an hour to her home state while she told me lie after lie about her life.

I had her car towed from the side of the road so she wouldn't drive it again. It is the last thing she owned.

and she said to me while I'm doing it "it's not in your heart to do this to me" and I knew she was right, but I did it for the first time in my life. I wanted to save someone who didn't want to save themself.

I prayed to god for the the first time in a long time.

[startingover]

ok so I need help really bad right now

Sometimes we have to let go.
You have done what you could. Whether you wanted to or not, you did it and thats to be applauded.
The reality is, we cannot save anyone who wont help themselves first and foremost.
You gave her a stepping stone to get help, she didnt take it.
You did what you could, stop feeling guilty.

[Providence]

ok so I need help really bad right now

I think I feel more guilty for me, because I've seen the bottom. Not mine but someone else and still I sit here with a drink thinking it's my answer.

Tomorrow I will wake up with more hope and desire to not do this, and somewhere it will slip away that is the part I hate the most.

[startingover]

ok so I need help really bad right now

I think its the alcohol in your system that is making you feel worse..
I know thats what it did for me, made me feel hopeless, guilty and ashamed among other things. Alcohol is a depressant in itself.
Honestly, after the initial withdrawals, it really does get easier. I wanted to die and now I want to live.
The only difference is whether I was drinking or not.

[Providence]

ok so I need help really bad right now

I want to live and I want the old me back. The one that loved to laugh, and hold my husband and loved to garden and my dogs.....

I know this too shall pass but I need it to happen a little more quickly this time. Why can I go 5 days without AL and the I hit the wall?

[Providence]

ok so I need help really bad right now

and to be truthful I never feel as good as I do sober.

[startingover]

ok so I need help really bad right now

Well, for me, it was a fear that I couldnt cope with a sober life..
Would it be boring? Would I cope with anger, tiredness, sadness etc etc..?
I was afraid of what it would be like. Then when I hit my rock bottom I simply thought that it could never be any worse than it was and that I was going to give sobriety a good try...
Once that decision was made, it was easy (sort of) there was no going back and I had to deal with whatever came up.
Sometimes it hard, but for the most part its wonderful. There is no guilt any more and I am in control.
Really, you will feel better and I think you know that.

[CS04]

ok so I need help really bad right now

Startingover, what do you think your rock bottom was?

And Providence, I was just in a similar situation as your "friend" (well not me, but having this person in my house), except this person was my brother. I dropped him off at a homeless shelter on Thursday.

[startingover]

ok so I need help really bad right now

My rock bottom? I guess it was finding a lump in my breast and hoping it was cancer...

CS that must have been such a hard thing to do....how are you feeling now?

[CS04]

ok so I need help really bad right now

Was it cancer? What happened?

To tell you the truth, I feel pretty depressed. I found out last week that I didn't get a job that I have been hoping for for 2 years. Then the thing with my brother -- he had been staying here for a couple of weeks, looking for work; I drove him 3 hrs (and back) to a job interview on Thurs., then found out from my husband that my brother had lied to us about a few things -- mainly drinking from our fridge and liquor cabinet. (He pulled a stunt like this about 6 years ago.)

I am just not in a very good place right now. I went to an AA meeting yesterday, but I am really floundering.

[startingover]

ok so I need help really bad right now

No, all was fine, but it made me realise how low I had got. I just wanted to die and was drinking loads and very out of control..

I am so sorry about the job, that I am sure would knock anyone for 6. Sometimes though, as hard as it seems, these things happen for a reason and maybe there is a better job thats more suited to you waiting in the wings?

Your brother sounds like he needs some serious help. You did the right the thing I think. Sometimes with family, we act as enablers unintentionally and its best to let someone independent take over.

I can understand you feeling so low...are you being treated for depression at all?

[CS04]

ok so I need help really bad right now

I am taking an anti-depressant, but not going to therapy anymore (the co-pays were too expensive).

[startingover]

ok so I need help really bad right now

CS, the trouble with ADs (I found) is that they didnt work while I was drinking...