I have not felt this way in a long time

[changemylife]

I'm so angry, So Angry. My marriage is falling apart. I don't want to be with her anymore. She keeps sweeping everything under the rug.

She won't go to counseling because she doesn't know what the issues are. If we could sit and discuss the issues, there would be no problem. She refuses to go.

Much of the reason for my drink in the past is to numb myself from the constant rejection that I Herve felt from her. Now I'm trying to bring my life back together and it seems to be falling apart because I cannot deal with anything.

I do everything around the house. The only thing she does is laundry and I find myself doing some of that lately too. She goes out all the time and has this great social life. Great for her.

I don't know what else to do. I have no one. I have no one to call

[MyHeartIsDrenchedInWine]

I have not felt this way in a long time

Well once you get really really sober you will be stronger and more able to make sound decisions. I think your wife is in denial......hence the busy social life and refusal to go to counseling. You might need to give her an ultimatum with that because if she refuses to communicate what marriage is there really to be saved?

I'm sorry you're hurting and I hope things get better for you soon :l

[CS04]

I have not felt this way in a long time

Change, does your wife drink too? Have you discussed your feelings with her? I am sorry you are hurting.

[changemylife]

I have not felt this way in a long time

She does not drink. She has a very aggressive/strong personality. This makes it very difficult to talk to her. She can get very defensive. This is why I think we need someone there.

I'm at the point in my life where I need more. I have everything I could hope to have as far as material things. I need a relationship. I never knew that marriage can be so lonely

[CS04]

I have not felt this way in a long time

How long have you been married? Do you have any kids?

[changemylife]

I have not felt this way in a long time

Coming up on 2 years. Been together for 14 years. I'm thinking we should never have gotten married. I think these problems were always there. I'm just not willing to drown them out with the bottle anymore.

No Kids.

[changemylife]

I have not felt this way in a long time

I just don't understand... I'm crying out to her that we need to do something and she just slaps me in the face by saying no to counseling. You would think that she would try and do anything in her power to try and help.

[Kid Shelleen]

I have not felt this way in a long time

Go to counseling yourself...

Stay sober...
Go to couseling...
Get strong, get clear...
Then tell her what you've decided to do;
with or without her.

It doesn't sound like she's listening to the voice
that you are speaking with.
You need to speak from a place of strength;
not weakness.
~Kid~

you said:
"I just don't understand... I'm crying out to her that we need to do something and she just slaps me in the face by saying no to counseling. You would think that she would try and do anything in her power to try and help."

[changemylife]

I have not felt this way in a long time

I refuse to drink... Not an option.

My last words with her... I will do it on my own and not involve you. Basically it was a big F-U and I do not need you kind of thing.

So I guess my worst fears are coming true. I vowed til death do us part and I am a honest and true person. Divorce goes against everything I believe in. Divorce to me is the easy way out. I must exhaust all options first.

Too bad Its only me working on it.

[time2change]

I have not felt this way in a long time

I can not even begin to understand your relationship, but I too took the vow. I knew that it was a mistake after a year but by that time I was having a child. It took me 21 years to finally get the divorce i should have gotten in year two. That does not mean you are in the same situation but I hope you really think about what is best for you. Took me too long to do that!! If it is right for you fight for it because a good marriage is a great gift. I hope it works out for the best either way!!

[startingover]

I have not felt this way in a long time

Change, I am so sorry you are having a tough time..
I agree that you should go for counselling alone. Sometimes just talking things through with a stranger will help to clarify things for you.
Plus, you need to look after you. If your wife isnt willing to see there is a problem, there is nothing you can really do about that.
Once you are getting help, she may come around too. But the most important thing is look after you first, no one else will do that for you.
Good luck

[changemylife]

I have not felt this way in a long time

It's morning now and we another had a huge fight last night. I don't understand why she must push and push me until the point that I feel like I'm going insane. She wants me to apologize. I want us to go to counseling. Its like a no win situation.

So I am still miserable. I have a big meeting today for which a big chunk of income depends on... Timing is everything.

[gyco]

I have not felt this way in a long time

very sad and hard situation,talking to a 3rd party will help,my wife of 33 years went,once,with me,maybe she has a pain inside her,from all your drinking days,now she has to get use to a new you,but as a few said,councilling will help you,as far as the doing everything maybe you should share the chores,maybe it wil open her eyes,i do wishyou well,gyco

[changemylife]

I have not felt this way in a long time

I will be making an appointment for the psychiatrist for therapy.

I wonder if things will get better if I go to therapy.

I cant go though life being this angry.

[startingover]

I have not felt this way in a long time

It might help you clarify where you want to go next with this?
Just talking it through rather than it going round and round in your head might help. Plus it seems you are angry for a reason, not just angry at the world.
Good luck, I really hope you get some help with this.