Thinking It Is a Loosing Battle

[beautifulred]

Just thinking this is a loosing battle....sober....drunk...still the same crap. Been sober for almost 5 weeks...no difference...same shit....different day......hurts worse when sober.....sorry guys...just the way I see things right now....Not a great day for me...not a great year...as a matter of fact....

[OverIt2007]

Thinking It Is a Loosing Battle

Not sure what to say, but letting you know I read your post.... and hope you feel better tomorrow, and sending you a hug :l


This may sound strange, but sometimes I think you cannot trust your own feelings. Can you try to just be "reasonable" happy for a while with the hope that things will get better in the future? There definately is hope in the future, but most likely not if turn to the bottle and toss away your sobriety.

Im no expert, just offering some heart felt advice for you (and for me too!)

[Boss.man]

Thinking It Is a Loosing Battle

It's not a great year for a lot of us. But it will be better if we are in control of our own lives.

Truly, life is better with yourself in the steering wheel, rather than a bottle running your life.

[boozehag]

Thinking It Is a Loosing Battle

Hey Red
You may lose a battle but that doesnt mean you have lost the war. I know you are having a hard time at the moment but as you know AL will only cause you even more hurt and if you drink others could use your drinking against you. Do you have some MWO buddies in your time zone that you can communicate with when you are struggling like this. If not get yourself on a daily AF thread with people at the same stage as you so that you can get support as you need it and before you feel like this. If you want to chat I am here.
BH

[Winefree]

Thinking It Is a Loosing Battle

Boss.man, well said. The bottle has been running and ruining my life and now my marriage is in a shambles. It;s not worth it.
Beautifulred, you must keep the hope and keep on trying. Keep posting, we can all talk it out.

[crow429]

Thinking It Is a Loosing Battle

you know...i was sober for 6 months and proud of myself for it...april 3, i relapsed...i figured...what the hell...my boyfriend just seemed like he was waiting for it to happen even after i was sober for 6 months...he supported me in the beginning but then things changed...and now that i drank...he wants nothing to do with a relationship with me...and i feel like...what the hell...but i do want to stay sober...for me...but i also want him in my life...and i just dont know what to do...i am going tomorrow to get assesed and hope that i can get topamax...read alot about it...but my feelings are i not really unhappy...but not content...so why not drink...i guess that i am really confused right now...and he just isnt helping matters either...

[boozehag]

Thinking It Is a Loosing Battle

Red
I have sent you a pm but sometimes it is best not to think about things too deeply. Just focus on not drinking for now and in time other things will fall into place. If there are things in your life that you cannot control or cannot change that are causing you frustration or hurt right now then do your best to ignore them or put them aside for now - just refuse to think about them and just concentrate on not drinking. Denial can be quite a useful tool at times. 5 Weeks is an absolutely fantastic effort so just try and keep going. It will be worth it very soon.
BH

[peacenik]

Thinking It Is a Loosing Battle

hi red, just want to let you know we are here...vent those feelings girl...you've been through the wringer and it's no wonder you are feeling this way...just think of how much worse you would feel if you were hungover on top of it all.

hugs to you!

[startingover]

Thinking It Is a Loosing Battle

Reddy, I am so sorry it is feeling like a huge battle at the moment. I guess with all you have going on right now, thats hardly surprising.
BUT I have heard you say you would never have coped with certain situations if you had been drinking, I have also heard you sound truly happy over the last 5 weeks too.
The trouble with negative emotions and depression is that it tends to over ride any of the good feelings and we feel overwhelmed by them, not remembering the positves that we have experienced.
Just know that all feelings are transient. This will pass. And if you remain sober I doubt you will have any regrets, if you dont, you can be sure you will end up with regrets.
It gets easier hun.

[Blue Sky]

Thinking It Is a Loosing Battle

You say you are not having a good year but it would be so much worse if you were drinking.

You have achieved 5 weeks. Hang in there!

[Guitarista]

Thinking It Is a Loosing Battle

Hang in there Red! You're doing great...........G.

[jessie]

Thinking It Is a Loosing Battle

Hi Beautifulred - hang in there. No matter how many times you slip - just get up again and start over.

[Evie.Lou]

Thinking It Is a Loosing Battle

Dear Sweet Reddy, I understand....I REALLY DO !!!
It is just part of the process of healing that happened to me when I finally knew that my drinking days were over. It took me many months to get hold of any real sober time.
Some wonderful people on this site wouldn't let me give up on ME...I am not gonna let you give up on YOU either..
Damn it...it is hard to get sober...PLEASE TRY TO REMEMBER .....We are in this together. Please don't give up on YOU....I sure haven't !!!!!!!!111

[Seacailin]

Thinking It Is a Loosing Battle

Reddy
Please Never give up. Never.

[greeneyes]

Thinking It Is a Loosing Battle

Red, I think if you're going to get to the other side of this you need your clarity. As I was moving through the posts I was thinking the things boozhag put into words. Go back and read her post. Focus on you and what you want. You have already made it clear you want to be sober and happy. You can get there, you know you can!