Detoxing over here ...

[Kayla]

An update on where I'm at ...

My pattern has been to drink a bottle or two throughout the afternoon and evening (scary to do a bottle within the hr), not eat, take a few valium, mersyndol, then my anti-deps and stilnox at night. Poor liver. Back on this routine for 5 mths now after 7mths off last year.

I had a whole load of detail here ... which I've just cut ... maybe I can say more about the trauma of the past few months as I go along ...

Anyway, made it through the first 24 hrs of detox ... I realise that drinking really isn't helping anything - I am just going under even more and I can't keep putting my family through this. Been here too many times and hitting mid-40's now, it has to stop ...

Late afternoon y'day, I debated whether I should call my Dr. and ask for help - but decided to pass ... Mixture of shame, staying underground, and a feeling that I could get through this myself ... this time. Knew I was going to need something though, - worried about abusing valium again - better for me not to have any - so I drove and got Valerian instead and Vit C... Using this and the Kudzu, and lots of camomile tea ...

Symptoms have kicked in - wracking headaches, nauseous, disoriented/foggy, ache under rib, agitated and anxious ... but I'm okay ... Major insomnia, despite half a stilnox ...

Wanted to add this quote that I read on the AL withdrawal info pages. I think it's worth repeating:

"If you have withdrawal symptoms from drinking, then you have consumed enough alcohol to damage other organs" Frightening thought.

Keeping a low profile today and staying home and quiet. Husb at work, children at school. Had lots of warming soup last night ... keeping the fluids high ... and trying to remember that the emotional swings are partially biochemical in nature. Know this is just the beginning again though and wracking my head for the best way to self-support. It's as I go along - and have to sustain abstinence - that the problem occurs. The staying stopped.

Crazy that just knowing all of you are out there experiencing similar things should help - but it does. Wish none of us had to do this to ourselves, but there you are. Some of us do, and it's so reassuring to know that there are people that understand, and who have been there too ... x

[Angelcakes]

Detoxing over here ...

Hi Kayla,
Sending you strength today. Can you take a couple of panadols to ease the headache??

xo

[cacky]

Detoxing over here ...

Kayla, good luck with everything. Dont underestimate the good lots of water will do for you. Keep talking to us. We will be here for you.

[Boss.man]

Detoxing over here ...

Good good! You are very brave. We're rooting for you!

For me, it's the valerian makes me nauseous. I found Theanine or L-Theanine to be much better at reducing anxiety without the side-effects I get with valerian.

L-Theanine Unique Anxiety Reducer and Mood Enhancer Increases Alpha Waves and Alertness

Also for zoning out if you don't need to be somewhere, taking some melatonin in dropper form helps you be relaxed but a bit sleepy. I find the effect lasts 4-6 hours.

NATROL - MELATONIN LIQUID - 1 ?BOTTLE; 2OZ Buy at a low price!

I just checked and it looks like Melatonin is still prescription only in Australia.

Keep watch on blood sugar levels. Part of detox typically makes you hypoglycemic or hyperglycemic, and sometimes swinging. Eating complex carbs; oatmeal, bread, and grains, milk, pudding, low fat ice cream can help steady that.

High anxiety is normal. The lack of AL can cause your brain to have an an adrenaline reaction "fight or flight". Think of this as a temper tantrum from part of your brain. It is a hazard of Day 2 and Day 3 and will pass. People on this site recommend GABA to help with this.

I'm sure others have notes to share also. Keep the faith. The symptoms will pass in just a few days.

[Going Strong]

Detoxing over here ...

Hugs to You!

Kayla,
You are so brave and I am thinking of you today and tonight. Does your husband support you and help? It sure does help. You can order melatonin online and its cheaper than a script in Aust. Just keep up the fluids and keep posting.
Much Love

[Kayla]

Detoxing over here ...

In just little over an hour since I posted, feeling I'm not doing so well.
Called my D & A counsellor - he was away, but I got to talk to a female counsellor I'd seen last year, who job-shares. Went through my symptoms - I know what's the worse that can happen right? All very logical - it's just discomfort, ride it out. We're so good at that though, aren't we, being people that self-medicate against discomfort?! Having blurry vision, v/disoriented, and highly uptight - as well as the other sympts I mentioned earlier. Not looking fwd to being sane mum when kids get home I guess, and having to make out I'm holding it all together, when actually I feel bloody awful. I'd normally be into the Rose by now.

Luckily, I live in the town with the detox centre I've been into before. Counsellor's going to ring them because I think I do need some extra help to deal with the withdrawals, maybe get into see one of the GPs there. Have told her I'm not willing to go back into the unit right now though. Just wouldn't be fair on my husb, after leaving him while I was in London 3 mths looking after mum. Trying to stay away from valium if poss, but have printed out some info on Baclofen to show GP - it doesn't sound as addictive, and I like the sound of the research suggesting it has helped suppress addiction to AL and cravings for it. If all else fails, will take the valium - I'm sure they have enough exp with me to only give me a bit of it anyway.

Then again, I may just stay at home. I'm rambling. Def all over the place.

[Kayla]

Detoxing over here ...

Boss.man;625907 wrote:

Also for zoning out if you don't need to be somewhere, taking some melatonin in dropper form helps you be relaxed but a bit sleepy. I find the effect lasts 4-6 hours.

NATROL - MELATONIN LIQUID - 1 *BOTTLE; 2OZ Buy at a low price!

I just checked and it looks like Melatonin is still prescription only in Australia.

Keep watch on blood sugar levels. Part of detox typically makes you hypoglycemic or hyperglycemic, and sometimes swinging. Eating complex carbs; oatmeal, bread, and grains, milk, pudding, low fat ice cream can help steady that.

Boss and others ... such helpful info ... even so far as looking up what's available in Australia. I'm listening to all of you x

[Going Strong]

Detoxing over here ...

Keep Posting

Kayla,
Keep posting and letting us know if you are alright.
Am sending good thoughts your way.
Take Care
Shas

[gyco]

Detoxing over here ...

hi kayla,ive been where you are,risky business,your playing doctor,i believe the late heath ledger did the same,lot of doctors dont have a clue on alcoholism,thats why there so disappointed in the patient,i beleive thats how mine felt,he let me and my wife go as patients,it sounds like your on a few meds,id be very careful,specially in your state of mind,i no here canada,72 hours is mandatory for a stay at the sike ward,in the hosspital,emergency ward,our illness is a disease like hardening of the artries,dibetis,in this day and age no reason to feel guilty about it,hard war to fight on your own,and i dont beleive anyone that has answered you here,has said they were doctors,i do wish you well,but it will be a shock to your family if you make a mistake,imy wife took me to the hospital,it was where i belonged, gyco

[Popeye]

Detoxing over here ...

Hi Kayla,
Keep taking the water, little and often. It's the stuff of life.
It's a struggle but most definately the best thing you could do for yourself.
Stay strong.

[Kayla]

Detoxing over here ...

Checking in again, talking to you like you say ...
I did end up seeing the Dr - a new one - it was incredibly hard to say why I was in there for a short while, tears, shakes - but finally talked - saying I was there because I had stopped drinking, was in withdrawal and needed help with that, and staying stopped. She was unfam with AL detox, listened quietly, and then suggested she admit me straight into hosp ...

I've noted your concerns about that Gyco ... but I just couldn't leave my poor-suffering partner (who's been here before) YET again. I jst knew I'd be okay if I got the meds and did all the other stuff we're all doing to get us through WD. To her credit, Dr accepted this, rang for advice on home detox, spoke to my D & A counselor, even rang my husb to check I had supervision and support.

Now on day 3, and like Sped says, the later days are worse. Arguing w/my husb ths morn. Don't get me wrong - he is supportive - but just better at dealing with the physical WD stuff that's happening, than the mental, emotional fall-out. And I'm low,impatient, snappy ... Have some valium now though, using it sparingly and am getting there ... determined to get off alc and stay out of hosp.

No luck with the Baclofen - not approved for use w/addictions here in Aust. She's going to look into it more with the Psychiatrist. Meantime, accepted a scripp for Campral, but having jst done a quick squizz around on the net, and memories of what others have said here, I'm not partic inclined to use at mo.
Going to read some more posts. Thanks for the PMs :l

[Kayla]

Detoxing over here ...

Gyco;625987 wrote: hi kayla,ive been where you are,risky business,your playing doctor,i believe the late heath ledger did the same,lot of doctors dont have a clue on alcoholism,thats why there so disappointed in the patient,i beleive thats how mine felt,he let me and my wife go as patients,it sounds like your on a few meds,id be very careful,specially in your state of mind,i no here canada,72 hours is mandatory for a stay at the sike ward,in the hosspital,emergency ward,our illness is a disease like hardening of the artries,dibetis,in this day and age no reason to feel guilty about it,hard war to fight on your own,and i dont beleive anyone that has answered you here,has said they were doctors,i do wish you well,but it will be a shock to your family if you make a mistake,imy wife took me to the hospital,it was where i belonged, gyco

Taking what you say most seriously Gyco. Always good to hear straight talking. I think you're right about the severity of alc'ism. I've become only too aware that I'm now getting into dangerous territory, and the damage I've done over the past 25 years of smoking and drinking is starting to warrant serious attention.

Check y'day showed swollen liver, enlarged gallbladder - ultrasound and blood tests ordered. Clearly I need to find a way to GET ABSTINENT and stay there. I know some people can do moderation. Not me.

Unsure whether taking topa/camp etc is the answer - for me anyway - seems I've thrown enough stuff at my liver already, but I'm going to check the other forum and have a think about that. Hooked back in with my counselor again though - he's been the most help with this I've ever had (past 3 yrs) - puts me on the spot, doesn't judge, yet doesn't let me get away with the slipping and sliding that addicts do so well. He's still hoping I may take the AA route. Trouble buying their ideology, and I hate the meetings. But will accountability here be enough?

[Going Strong]

Detoxing over here ...

Hang in there Kayla. Disappointing to read about the Baclofen though. Am seriously thinking of ordering it online as it sounds exactly what I need. Husbands are doers that like fixing problems. If they can't fix it they don't want to hear about it. Well mines like that anyway.
Let us know how you go.
We are at the sidelines cheering you on!
Take Care

[DoDoHead]

Detoxing over here ...

Hey, Kayla

Keep posting. It's scary, and some of us are not even brave enough to try one night sober. I salute you! I've tried to stop many times through many methods. I'm back to mwo because I felt safe here. I'll keep you all posted. And then, hopefully I won't become as extinct as the DoDo.

[DoDoHead]

Detoxing over here ...

ps

I have a friend on Topamax for migraines, and she has a total abhorence for anything that has alcohol. I think I will try this route! Everybody, let me know what works for you. I tried baclofen in the past but still went back to booze.