Sick and tired of being SICK and Tired.

[IDrinkToEscapeMyself]

Hello anyone who cares to read this. I'm new to this website but i figure i need to try something other then what I have been. My drinking is not stopping and i cant figure out why. I can feel like never wanting to see another ounce of liquor again and the next thing i know im spending my last pennies getting another bottle. Every day i finish atleast a 750mL bottle of vodka. Sometimes I even convince myself that i need more once its gone. All of this while im studying to become an engineering student! I feel like sometimes my mind is so crazy that to crawl into a bottle just helps me slow things down and get away from life. I've been in out-patient rehabs and have gone to plenty of meetings but nothing is ever fixed me. I'm missing work that is SO easy for me to complete and just not showing up to anything. I really need help but I dont know what to do. I cant even think of what else to write right now because I feel pathetic enough having written as much as I have. I want absolutely NO pitty because that will lead to no where. I just want anyone who can relate and give me some good advice. P.S. dont respond with telling me to drink more water......i drink over a gallon a day, which has probably saved my life. Well, thats all for now I guess. Hopefully someone is listening...

[bloggy]

Sick and tired of being SICK and Tired.

Hi IDrink- and welcome!

I think there are very few people on this site who CAN'T relate to what you are going through- we all wonder why the hell we can't stop when we hate what we are doing to ourselves so much.

There are people here getting better by using meds, others use supplements, some are in AA, and some manage just by using good old willpower...

There is a ton of info on here about just about every method you can think off- to get an idea of the MWO program you can download the book from the store.

Please stick around and read, read, and post- there are lots of people here who have been exactly where you are now, and have managed to find a way out.

[42cat]

Sick and tired of being SICK and Tired.

Hi and welcome. I can totally relate. I got to the point (last week) where I was so angry with myself, and alcohol. (If you click my icon and find my posts, it's the one about Day 4 of Tapering.) It's a horrible feeling, out of control, wanting, needing, and for no good reason that we can figure.

Glad to have you here. Read lots of posts, and post lots. And, most importantly, don't stop trying.

Hope to see many posts from you!

[brittzak]

Sick and tired of being SICK and Tired.

I am not gonna give you pity, because the posts where I was given pity are not the ones that reached out to me. I am gonna share with you what has worked here for me. First you need to download the book here for the MWO program so you can it and understand how it works. You need to order the supplements so you can detox. Then...it is time to get that poison out of your system. How you do that...only you can determine that. I am not a doctor. How long has it been since you have been sober? Do you need to seek medical asssitance? GET A PLAN. Write it down and go with it. Now, I attend AA, use MWO, and take topa, plus I got on an anti-depressant. But, it took me awhile to figure out what "I" needed to be sober. It did not happen overnight. Read around this site. Many people work the program differently....see what you think fits your lifestyle...I AM NOT saying what works for me is what you should do what I am saying is make a plan. Glad you are here....READ!

[cacky]

Sick and tired of being SICK and Tired.

Idrink; Hello and welcome; we are all pretty much in the same boat. just keep coming into the site and reading and talking; we all care.

[Lavande]

Sick and tired of being SICK and Tired.

Welcome Idrink,

Glad you found us! I'll offer no pity, it is useless. I will offer this advice - get a grip now before your situation gets worse!

As was mentioned by others, read the MWO book, sit down and make yourself a plan you can live with & stick to. You won't be sorry, I promise. Get one AF day under your belt, then another, then another. If you think you need medical assistance to detox then by all means do that.

Wishing you the very best,
Lavande

[Jmacboi]

Sick and tired of being SICK and Tired.

Idrink listen to the people on this board very closely, because I'm new here and I listened and they have been by my side helping and caring without even knowing who I am. We're all different, but we're all the same and have experienced a lot of the same things and pains. We're all with you, so you're not alone. However, nobody but you can make it happen and do something with the advice you get. There's a lot of greating postings to read, so keep yourself occupied just doing research on this site. There's a great post on here you should look for that gives a great day to day plan on cutting back daily until you're ready to quit altogether. Don't allow this poison and enemy of you to destroy anymore of what you want, or you want to be. Sounds like you have what it takes to beat this, and to be the winner you really want to see yourself as. Don't hate yourself, get yourself better! You'll Love Yourself for it! Good Luck! And, remember this is the place to get a lot of the help and support you need to make it happen!!

[Jmacboi]

Sick and tired of being SICK and Tired.

One more thing Idrink.... Check out the Live Chat and participate. You'll be welcomed right away amongst some great people who work daily to keep achieving what you want to achieve. You'll be amazed at how much it helps to get your head and body moving in the right direction. Try it!

[livingfree]

Sick and tired of being SICK and Tired.

A lot of great advice here. Take it and do something with it.

I am not sure by what you posted if anyone who knows you (in the real world ... not just the cyber world) knows how much you want to quit. If not - it is time to bring someone you trust into your confidence. You need immediate accountability. You need someone close to you that can call you out when you start playing the addict game. Being an addict is part of a very "creative" personality (manipulative). We can lie and believe our own lies, drink and not act drunk, etc. etc. You know what I'm talking about.

I don't know if tough love is what you need, or compassion .... I just know that you will get both here - sometimes you'll need one, sometimes the other. Just don't take it personally. We are all fighting for our lives!! You have to use every tool available until you figure out which ones work best!

The ONE thing that helped me MOST the first 2 weeks AF - was knowing this program was coming in the mail. It bought me about 8 days. Then I listened to the CD's 3 or 4 times a day for the next few .... which gave the supplements time to kick in. I read the book in a couple of hours and suddenly was filled with hope.

I would also suggest going completley AF in the beginning. We all want to Moderate, but in the end ... only some can. If you plan on going AF -- with the intent to Moderate, you will be able to clear your head for an AF run before you decide that. Modding was never an option for me. I am one of those kinds of people ... all or nothing! So nothing it is ... and that has become everything to me!

And ..... say a prayer. God helps those who help themselves. He really does

Best to you
Liv

[byebyebridgetjones]

Sick and tired of being SICK and Tired.

Hi Idrink

I'm new around here too. Not only can I identify with what you say, but I'm a 'Vodka girl ' too. Sick and Tired of being sick and tired.........those are the EXACT words I say to myself every time I reach the end of my tether........and here I am again.
Although I can understand the self loathing, you know, it's getting us nowhere fast. If we want to get well we have to start respecting ourselves and our bodies well enough to say 'yes' to our health, well-being and life.
New things rarely feel comfortable, but there seems to be a lot of good ,(but more importantly realistic), advice around here to help us over the hump.
If you don't already have it, Roberta Jewell's book is probably the best ....or at least most timely , thing I've ever read.
Bridget.:welcome:

[com1]

Sick and tired of being SICK and Tired.

:goodjob: by being here!

and :welcome:.

All the steps you have taken in the past will eventually help you to stop the cycle you are on. These steps are to help YOU stop this insanity. We have to utilize whatever means that are at our disposal. Nothing will do it for us. It is up to us.

There are so many patterns that we all go through and yours is quite typical. The prospect of a life without AL can be scary after what we have been through. We need to take it one minute, one hour, one day at a time. A lot of physical and mental adjustment is in order but it can be done!

Good luck and keep learning.

com1