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    #16
    emergency please help now lost daughter nothing to do with drinking

    Not the answer............

    Hey Colbe,

    Ah girl things are tough right now - but as the guys have said, you need to get a clear head and perspective on all this. Then you'll be in a position to deal with whats going on.

    One thing I know for sure - suicide is NOT the answer girl.

    I'm talking from experiance - I have lost two brothers to suicide in the last 2.5 years and the hurt and sadness left behind is not a legacy you want to leave your daughter, family and friends with. Please believe me when I tell you how hard living with that really is.

    Your here and your trying to make a difference to your life - be strong and things WILL get better.

    I'm sending you loads of strength and love hun x

    Nics :l :l :l
    5th February 2013......... To sobriety and beyond! :angel:

    Dealing with the Beast since May 26th 2009

    I like the dreams of the future better than the history of the past.
    Patrick Henry

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      #17
      emergency please help now lost daughter nothing to do with drinking

      Perhaps I didn't make myself clear...I WAS SOBER...I WORKED ALL THIS TIME WITH SO MANY OF YOU TO HWLP ME. I was sober! I started drinking again after the state took my daughter without me even having the opportunity to speak with her about what happened and no attorney (the free ones) care enough to call me back.

      I am getting no help. No leagal Aid, no pro-bono...NO MONeY, NO HELP. wHAT WAS THE POINT IN BEING SOBER? I alerady made an apt with a psy to help with the sugar cravings. She can't fit me in for weeks.
      They now broke into my home to take her belongings when I was out trying to find help. I have been to the police, the hosp for the pain. I am just done. I will try chat again but I am losing it...not drunk, depressed as all get out.
      Give a man a beer, he'll waste an hour. Teach a man to brew, he'll waste a lifetime.

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        #18
        emergency please help now lost daughter nothing to do with drinking

        Colbe, i know you said you were sober prior to the incident but it sounds like your drinking afterwards caused you additional problems. Colbe for your sake and your daughter's sake please try to not drink again. Some of us were chatting with you after you made your initial post and we all urged you to get help. Colbe please dont harm yourself. Your daughter will never get over that and maybe she is making a mistake right now ..she is young and impressionable. Dont make her regret that for the rest of her life. Sounds like the suicide prevention hotline would be a good option. They can get you immediate help. Please take everything that is said as sincere concern. please help yourself

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          #19
          emergency please help now lost daughter nothing to do with drinking

          Colbe,

          I am sorry. I understood you drank and took Xanax, which caused the incident with your boyfriend. If I misunderstood, please forgive me.

          I do know you are in a complete and total state of despair right now. I can only imagine if someone came, took my child, tried to make me sign a paper that I would not see her for 30 days, etc. My adrenaline rush alone would be enough to probably cause one of my panic attacks. So I do understand. :l:l

          However, what the courts saw was you got thrown in jail for getting violent with your boyfriend, you were intoxicated and on Xanax.

          Stand back and look at it from a non-partisan judge's point of view.

          So, I do stand by my first statement in that you must do whatever it takes to remain sober, no more incidents, even isolated, get free legal help, you can and must, and take the courts on. You can do this.

          You have to, Colbe. This is your daughter you are talking about.

          At 13, she is not old enough to judge what is best for her. You are. You know you are the one to be raising her, not your sister.

          Thank God, at least, she is with a family member and not in some unknown situation in Foster Care. At least you have that.

          I am hoping your sister is a good person who will take the responsibility of doing the best she can in this circumstance. Even if you are not close to your sister, it has got to be better than your girl being with strangers.

          I apologize for misunderstanding the entire picture. It is wonderful you have been sober for a long time. I applaud you for that and I can totally understand losing it under the circumstances in which you found yourself.

          I did have a dear friend who went through a similar circumstance back in the 90s. Her daughter told a school counselor that her daddy abused her. What her daddy had done was ask her to do something, she sassed back at him and he grabbed her arm and marched her into her room. It took them several weeks to get that all sorted out, but they did.

          Please do not give up. Your daughter deserves your strength right now. Take very deep breaths and take this one step at a time.

          Much strength and caring,
          Cindi
          AF April 9, 2016

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            #20
            emergency please help now lost daughter nothing to do with drinking

            When my daughter was 14, her friend (also 14) ran away from her mom and step-dad. She told some lies about her step-dad (later confessed that they were lies). She first ran to her biological dad's house, 3 hours away, and she even changed schools for a year. Ended up hating it - he didn't really want to be "a dad". She then switched to her aunt's house, and hated it even more. Eventually, she came back home. They took part in family counselling, and she had individual counselling as well. It really took a toll on the family, especially her mom and younger sister.

            I guess where I'm going with this is .... It was a couple of years from start to finish for them. A couple of stressful years that required lots of strength and determination, understanding, hard work, etc. She was a year away, and then a good year of counselling, etc., until things started to feel normal for them. ....... She has a wonderful, close, happy relationship now with her mom, sister, and her step-dad.

            Please hang in there. As ugly as things look/feel right now, they WILL change. Fight for your (and your daughter's) life!
            AF for two years. Slight relapse. Working on it at the moment.

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              #21
              emergency please help now lost daughter nothing to do with drinking

              Hi Colbe . . .

              HuGGs to you Colbe . . .

              I cannot imagine what you must be going thru. I do know suicide is NOT the answer. Your family and friends would be devastated and worse I fear your daughter would blame herself.

              Like everything else, take 'One Day at a Time' and some deep cleansing breathes, the answers will come.

              I am sorry that I am at a loss for words I have no idea what else to say, except that my Prayers and Positive Energy go out to you. . . :l

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                #22
                emergency please help now lost daughter nothing to do with drinking

                More hugs for you, Colbe, and I am sending good thoughts your way. In all this, please remember that the judge's decision about your daughter is one that was made with a limited set of information in a limited situation -- please do not think it is an statement about you as an individual. You are a good person with a good heart. Anyone who reads your posts knows that. Please keep writing to us and keep your chin up. Don't let the current circumstances become the bad ending of a very good story!
                "If you fell down yesterday, get up today." -- H.G. Wells

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                  #23
                  emergency please help now lost daughter nothing to do with drinking

                  Im new (again) but I am quietly praying for you. Many hugs. This too shall pass.

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                    #24
                    emergency please help now lost daughter nothing to do with drinking

                    Colbe, I have worked with many children in foster care. The state does not really want to break up families. They WILL try to help reunite you with your daughter if it is safe for her. Please don't throw away your hard work of being sober - get it back so you can work with them. Please consider that your daughter may have told them more than your boyfriend touched her on the thigh. And as everyone has said, if you love your daughter, please do not harm yourself. My dad committed suicide - it is not something she will get over easily.

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                      #25
                      emergency please help now lost daughter nothing to do with drinking

                      Colbe, I just want to put my arms around you and give you a hug. Please don't harm yourself. The bad feelings will pass.
                      make the least of the worst, and the most of the best - everyday.

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                        #26
                        emergency please help now lost daughter nothing to do with drinking

                        colbe, there is something you have to ask yourself. what was your boyfriend's intentions and maybe something happened a little more than your little girl is ready to say. my sister just told us the other day (she is turning 40) that she was sexually abused by a teacher when she was about that age. maybe she did this to hurt you but maybe she didnt. i would also try to find out what really set her off. repair your relationship with your young daughter at all costs...she needs you and you need her. please take care of yourself.

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