Coming off a two week bender

[Changed1]

It's been two weeks since I started drinking heavily over realizing the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with - well, he told me the other day I am nonexistent in his life. I still don't know what really happened and I am not going to know. He is destructive and I must walk away once and for all.

However, I must stop killing myself too. I can't believe I haven't ended up in detox. Today was the first day a headache really hit me. I am at the bottom in my life. No friends where I live, no job, no family where I live (and I can't turn to them anyway). I just sit in this house day after day. I've gained so much weight and cleaning and showering aren't happening very much. I hate to think about what all of this is doing to my insides too.

At any rate, I could sure use someone to "talk to." I have to get a grip and get on some kind of track or I am on the way down. Well, I have been for quite a while but now I am wondering if I can climb out of this hole. Plus, my therapist called me the other day concerned over some claims not paid and to let me know how much I'd owe her if I couldn't get the authorization backdated. It's her job to do this, not mine. After this, I've decided to stop seeing her, so there is one fewer support. Thanks for reading.

[cacky]

Coming off a two week bender

changed, can you get to chat. i would love to talk to you

[Changed1]

Coming off a two week bender

cacky;662950 wrote: changed, can you get to chat. i would love to talk to you

Thanks, I'll try but have never done chat before in one of these forums. Ok, just tried but I got a little box with a red x through it, so maybe I need something else on my computer I don't have.

[cacky]

Coming off a two week bender

ok..so we can talk here....try not to cut yourself off from any support. what can you do for yourself today

[Changed1]

Coming off a two week bender

cacky;662956 wrote: ok..so we can talk here....try not to cut yourself off from any support. what can you do for yourself today

Yes, I do have plans to go to women's groups this week. There is one tomorrow at 10 that I am going to go to. What I can do for my
self today is to not try to think too much about what's happened and try to get some rest. I am out of sleeping pills though and have been for the past two weeks, so it's been rough. I'm at the point where I'd just like to sleep around the clock. I've been taking melatonin just to go to sleep as being awake is just painful, plus I can't drink when I am sleeping. I was up to three bottles of wine a day and have been tapering down. Well, I am not feeling well right now. My head hurts. My side was hurting earlier today. I think I am going to go lay down. I do appreciate your talking to me. I will check in later.

[cacky]

Coming off a two week bender

thats great it sounds like you are taking control slowly but surely. tapering is great. it is not wise to just try and stop cold turkey unless you are getting medical help.

[startingover]

Coming off a two week bender

Hi Changed, how are you doing now?

[Changed1]

Coming off a two week bender

startingover;663035 wrote: Hi Changed, how are you doing now?

Hi startingover, I am feeling better physically but not so much mentally. I know it's normal to have all this anxiety and fear coming off of a two week binge, so I am telling myself this. I live alone and the sleeping thing is a problem, in that I'm out of pills. It's good to know I can just check in here at any time. I'm feeling a bit insecure not having any wine in my house now though. I don't want to be all anxious at 3 a.m. with no way to cope. Thanks for asking.

[startingover]

Coming off a two week bender

Oh yes, the anxiety can be nasty.
Try some breathing exercises to calm you down?
Also, chamomile tea might help. Telling yourself over and over that you will get through this is a good thing too. Because you will you know.

[Changed1]

Coming off a two week bender

startingover;663039 wrote: Oh yes, the anxiety can be nasty.
Try some breathing exercises to calm you down?
Also, chamomile tea might help. Telling yourself over and over that you will get through this is a good thing too. Because you will you know.

Thanks for telling me I will. Now I just have to believe it myself.

[Changed1]

Coming off a two week bender

cacky;662960 wrote: thats great it sounds like you are taking control slowly but surely. tapering is great. it is not wise to just try and stop cold turkey unless you are getting medical help.

Thanks, cacky. I am taking back control. I just took a shower (first one since last Wed or Thurs) and feel better. On this note, I am going to brush my teeth and try to get some sleep.

[sosad61]

Coming off a two week bender

Changed1;663047 wrote: Thanks, cacky. I am taking back control. I just took a shower (first one since last Wed or Thurs) and feel better. On this note, I am going to brush my teeth and try to get some sleep.

Hang in there. It's something we all go through Changed. You're not alone by any means.

[jessie]

Coming off a two week bender

Hi Changed - I also get very anxious, which is for me the worst aspect of hte whole alcohol trip - you are welcome to PM me if you want to chat.

[cacky]

Coming off a two week bender

Changed, glad to see you're still doing ok. Have you ever tried meditation. Now i dont mean sitting and humming for hours...but there are meditation methods that can help you stop your constant thinking (if only for a minute). taking a walk and looking at the trees or the sky and focusing only on what you are looking at can help. now what i have to do some times is tell my brain to shush a few times but start with 20 seconds if you have to and work your way up. it really is terrific to stop the obsessive negative thoughts that we alkies are so famous for and keeps us stuck in our addiction

[sosad61]

Coming off a two week bender

Changed, sometimes I go for a couple of days without showering or any type of body hygiene. It upsets me to no end but I just cannot get motivated to do such things.