Coming off a two week bender

[cymru]

Coming off a two week bender

Hey changed. Good to see you here. Have been in the place you are now many many times. Am very much a binger and drink until I physically can't drink anymore. For me, it's a matter of riding out the first couple of days after a binge. I drink plenty of water, lucozade and smoothies( when I can keep them down) and try and eat small amounts of food when I can to get my body back used to eating. A long bath often helps me.
Try not to think of your ex. It's you you have to think about at the moment and until you can get your mind and body straight again( which for me takes about a week) other matters can wait.
Oh, I find multi vits help too.
All the best.

[42cat]

Coming off a two week bender

Hi there, Changed. Nice to meet you. While we're not in the same situation, I can identify with your 'alone' feeling. While I'm married, I'm alone most of the time. I also don't have any friends, and my job is pretty much an alone-thing. I am alone in my head, as well in my day, all the time... and I drank all day long, starting with breakfast.. a quart of hard liquor every day.

I finally decided to make a change, for several reasons. One of the many obstacles of quitting was "how do I deal with the boredom of being alone so much" ... And I decided that I can't ask others to un-bore me - I have to do it myself. I've been getting out and doing new things. Just leaving the house is a start.

I know mine isn't the same situation as yours. I'm not dealing with the loss of a relationship, but I guess I'm just saying that maybe you can think of this as a new phase in your life (that's how I'm thinking of it for me) ... and make some fun, happy changes ... doing it myself, for me. I really only "need" me. Everything else will happen as it happens.

Hope you are doing well. **hugs** to you .. You've found a great place here. Even though my situation isn't the same as yours, there are lots of people here whose situations are. It's good to know you (we) aren't alone!

[prancy]

Coming off a two week bender

Changed, all those physical and emotional feelings are natural. The good thing is that they go get better if you stick with it. Having been there, I promise. Sometimes after a binge, even my teeth hurt. And the sleep gets better too. As you clean the AL out of your system, you will find yourself going to sleep earlier, sleeping soundly and waking up early. Stick with it. I am sending you lots of mental support!

[Changed1]

Coming off a two week bender

Thank you all so much for your messages. I was too afraid to be without any alcohol in the house last night, so I went and got a bottle of wine, just in case. I did not need it at all. I went to bed, read some and finally fell asleep. To my surprise, I slept much better as I hadn't been overdoing it during the day. Yeah, I still had to drink to taper down, but even doing that allowed me to sleep. Now all I have to do is to figure out how not to be scared without having a bottle of wine here in case I wake up and can't breathe, can't stand the aloneness and all of the thoughts whirling through my head. I don't know if anyone can relate, but they are the thoughts that say I am going to be alone forever, die a horrible death soon due to years of abuse, no children, no job, a failure and on and on.

This morning I am hungry and no headache. I drink a ton of water all the time and am steering clear of coffee so as not to make the anxiety worse. I have to leave in an hour for my women's group where I will meet all new people who I really believe I'll relate to. I'm a bit leery and not looking forward to driving that far, but it will be worth it. I'm happy to be here and really appreciate the help.

[startingover]

Coming off a two week bender

Hi again Changed.
Very well done for getting through last night. Thats amazing considering you thought you might not be able to.
Have you seen the doc about your anxiety? I know when I was very depressed and anxious, I had trouble with morbid thoughts all the time. When the depression was dealt with, the thoughts and anxiety left me.
Might be worth a chat to him or her?

[The New Me]

Coming off a two week bender

Hi Changed,

I have dealt with a loss of love and also drowned it in wine for a while. My relationship was no good, so I am glad I am out of it, but it hurt like hell, nevertheless. Have same thoughts like you - I will never meet abybody, will die alone soon and so on. I am in similar situation, no job and no money to spent on myself to make myself feel better. And cheap wine would take these feelings away, at least for a while.

Well, I did stop - I am on day seven. I am determinded to change my life. It will get better when I get better. AL was the first thing that had to go. I feel a lot better physically and that's the beginning for me.
Going to women's group is good. I wish I coud find one where I live... Keep posting and let us know how you are doing.

[Changed1]

Coming off a two week bender

The New Me;663383 wrote: Hi Changed,

I have dealt with a loss of love and also drowned it in wine for a while. My relationship was no good, so I am glad I am out of it, but it hurt like hell, nevertheless. Have same thoughts like you - I will never meet abybody, will die alone soon and so on. I am in similar situation, no job and no money to spent on myself to make myself feel better. And cheap wine would take these feelings away, at least for a while.

Well, I did stop - I am on day seven. I am determinded to change my life. It will get better when I get better. AL was the first thing that had to go. I feel a lot better physically and that's the beginning for me.
Going to women's group is good. I wish I coud find one where I live... Keep posting and let us know how you are doing.

Hi The New Me, it's always nice to know others are dealing with similar circumstances, but I am sorry to hear you're in the same situation. But good for you on seven days! Keep going. Today is day 1 for me. Yeah, I hear you on the wine and escaping if only for a bit. But it is not a long term solution to long term problems (on my part).

I wish you had a women's group in your area. Groups can really help, like this group here.

[The New Me]

Coming off a two week bender

Changed,

Living well is the best revenge!
I suffered from a terrbile anxiety when drinking, so I would drink to relief that, causing more anxiety. What a vicious circle. Now, the anxiety is gone. Without, I can start living my life.
I am actively lookig for a job. You?

[Changed1]

Coming off a two week bender

The New Me;663391 wrote: Changed,

Living well is the best revenge!
I suffered from a terrbile anxiety when drinking, so I would drink to relief that, causing more anxiety. What a vicious circle. Now, the anxiety is gone. Without, I can start living my life.
I am actively lookig for a job. You?

How are you finding the job hunt to be? I haven't started looking, as I don't know what to do or how to explain away the last six years of my life. Looking for a job is just more than I can bear right now. I have to get over this relationship ending and get a handle on the drinking, the weight, the cigarettes and my mental health.

[Wally22]

Coming off a two week bender

Changed1, the job market is tough right now, but there are jobs to be found. They may not be the jobs we want though.
I hope you found the woman's group helpful. I also hope the tapering off is working ok for you. Take some time to take care of yourself.
The best revenge is living well. Right? Please keep posting and let us know how you are doing. I am rooting for you.

[Changed1]

Coming off a two week bender

Sheri;663473 wrote: Hi Changed,

Boy...can I relate!

I am, by nature, a big time dweller (about the past) and worrier (about the future), and alcohol always made everything a trillion times worse in my head. I have also gone through some very difficult losses and relationship breakups over the years and have lived alone most of my adult life, which always made me feel like such a failure. It didn't matter that I had a successful career making lots of money, because all I ever wanted in life, and thought I'd be really good at, was to be a wife and mother.

I would often wake up in the wee hours of the morning with major heart palpitations and anxiety thinking I was going to die and no one would find me for days, or even worse, my dog would eat me (or maybe not, 'cause I'm sure I would have tasted like alcohol). These episodes would always give me more to worry about the next day, and so I would drink again hoping to calm myself down, only to wind up with even more fear and anxiety. This led to more drinking, which led to more isolation, which led to more lonliness, and so on, and so on.

The one thing that I could be proud of was my job, and I lost that last summer along with millions of other people due to the economy. It was a very difficult time and took me 9 months to finally land another job, but I am now happier and more at peace than I have been in a very, very long time. Not because it's my dream job (it's not), but because I used that time off to completely turn my life around.

I am now 4 months sober, living more in the present than ever before, and honestly have no desire whatsover to drink again. I no longer have heart palpitations or panic attacks, I've lost 25 pounds, and I am finally sleeping through the night every single night. I have an overall good sense of well-being and optimism for the future and no longer worry about dying.

Change, I know it doesn't seem that way right now, but things WILL get infinately better for you once AL is out of your life, and I wish that for you from the bottom of my heart.

Sheri

Thanks, Sheri. You do give me hope for the future. I confess I don't have much right now. I know things could be much worse, but children are no longer an option and I just don't see myself with anyone. The group I just returned from - it's a group for women who've been in abusive situations. This last relationship I was in - while I lovely him dearly and wanted to be with him forever, he was abusive and I just had to draw a line in the sand. So it's over permanently.

I have made arrangements with a friend of mine to be notified if I do end up dead here and he agreed to come here to my house and make sure it gets cleaned up and then find a new home for my pets. At the rate I've been drinking, and especially in the past couple of weeks, I thought it apropos to line this up.

I think I can regain control slowly but surely if I just don't drink. I'm not having any physical withdrawal right now (and am most grateful), but of course the anxiety over all the bad thoughts persists. Thanks for sharing.

[The New Me]

Coming off a two week bender

Present,

Being abused by the men you love is one of the most painfull experiences I ever had. I damages your self esteem at the core level. And - if you didn't have much of it to begin with, you may end up practically destroyed. This relationship took so much out of me that I am just beginning to rebuild myself.
Oh, I feel for you.
If you want to know the books that helped me, I would be glad to share.
But, three months later, I am glad this man is gone from my life. And I am tackling the AL issue as well.
The first weeks were horrible - I did not eat for days.
Changed, let the guy abuse someone else, for he will . This is who they are - you did not caused it and cannot chnge it.
You may not feel that yet, but I am glad you are out. I could never tackle my drinking if I was still with this guy.
Did you two drink together? You do not have to answer any questions, by the way.
Be good to yourself..

[Anjicia]

Coming off a two week bender

Hi changed i can relate so much to your situation. I too am a binge drinker and i live alone. I'm just over a 2 week binge of 2 bottles of wine a night. I also suffer anixety and the wine temporarly relieved this only to come back the next day. Al makes this worse so the cycle begins again. I'm also unemployed and hope to look for a job when i get al under control. I havn't been in a relationship in quite a while so i get quite lonely a trigger for most of us 2 drink. I don't have many friends in my area also but family nearby which are supportive of me. The i have an al problem but i hide much of it from them because of shame guilt etc. I have also gone a couple of days without showering etc when drinking. I'm back on day 1 again also. Big hug to you and keep going to your women's groups as getting talking and sharing is good therapy. The anxiety and sleepless nights when get better as you the al out of ur system. I find AA meetings help also so i intend goin back to them a couple of days a week. Best of luck in your recovery. We don't need abusive partners in our life.

[brightlite]

Coming off a two week bender

Changed

Hugs to you. Although this is an older thread, I hope you are doing much better. Abusive relationships can take so much out of you. No one deserves to be verbally, mentally or physically abused. Move on and take care of yourself.

[Changed1]

Coming off a two week bender

Firefox;677888 wrote: Hi changed i can relate so much to your situation. I too am a binge drinker and i live alone. I'm just over a 2 week binge of 2 bottles of wine a night. I also suffer anixety and the wine temporarly relieved this only to come back the next day. Al makes this worse so the cycle begins again. I'm also unemployed and hope to look for a job when i get al under control. I havn't been in a relationship in quite a while so i get quite lonely a trigger for most of us 2 drink. I don't have many friends in my area also but family nearby which are supportive of me. The i have an al problem but i hide much of it from them because of shame guilt etc. I have also gone a couple of days without showering etc when drinking. I'm back on day 1 again also. Big hug to you and keep going to your women's groups as getting talking and sharing is good therapy. The anxiety and sleepless nights when get better as you the al out of ur system. I find AA meetings help also so i intend goin back to them a couple of days a week. Best of luck in your recovery. We don't need abusive partners in our life.

Hi Firefox! I am sorry to hear you're coming off a two week binge like I was, but it sure beats the alternative to keep on drinking. It really is hard being lonely and unemployed and having wine to take the edge off. It's hard not to pick up a glass of wine and just make it all go away.

As for me, I've had a few drinks since that two week binge, but nothing like that. The person who set it off - the abusive guy - he called me last night and I told him I am taking 90 days for me. He was like...well, what have you been doing this whole time? Well, the truth is I have been recovering from him and the two week binge and have slipped into a depressive place. I have no intentions of calling or seeing him in these 90 days. Meanwhile, I go to a women's group tomorrow a.m. that deals with these situations. I also take meds for the depression and after seeing my shrink this a.m., I will be at full dosage in another couple of weeks. At that dose I forgot I had wine in the house. I am hoping for another result like that this time around too.

I am glad that you are going to be pursuing the AF life now. We can't undo things, but today and going forward we can do our best to turn our lives around. :l