OMG
There are many ways out. You can do this. I was beginning to think I'd never be sober. I was thinking I was damaged beyond repair, body and mind. But with the help and support of this site and the people on it, and lots of googling and learning, reading, and considering different ideas, I made a plan - and I revised it a few times - and then something clicked - I got angry at ALcohol and at myself and I WANTED a life .. a real life .. a happy life. Other people have it, why can't I? I can. YOU can.
I was drinking from breakfast until bedtime .. and a few times got up in the middle of the night and had one, just to keep the shakes away and so I could get back to sleep. It had gone way beyond a "fun buzz" and into "I can't physically function without alcohol." ... I scared myself to the point that I knew I had to STOP. I'm 44 and female, btw. I functioned well. I have a job, a family, a house, etc. I drank in secret and no one knew I had more than "a couple" in the evening. I was/am often alone and I drank mostly alone. I spent $20-$25 a day on rum or vodka. Every single day, until June 2/09 (except for last Wednesday - but I fought a nasty hangover on Thursday and got back on track, thank goodness).
Stick with us here. Read as much as you can. In the beginning, I just started reading.. the boards, everything I could. At the time, I still didn't "get it", but I know I wanted it. Eventually, something clicked and I knew I was ready. I hated what I had become. Sounds like you are as angry at AL and yourself as I was .. sounds like you want to know what it's like to have a normal life ... sounds like you want to find a way to do it.
Arm yourself with vitamins, supplements, good food, water water water, Milk Thistle for your liver, L-glutamine for cravings ... consider meds if you think you need them.
I don't know how much you drink, but detox / withdrawal can be not only scary but very dangerous. Listen to your body carefully if you decide to do it on your own.
I tapered down on my own first. If you'd like to read about how it went for me, here is a link to what I wrote about it as I was going through it... https://www.mywayout.org/community/f9...ggy-34156.html
You are here and you WANT to get better. That is Step 1. Step 2 is to make a plan, learn, try .. and keep on trying. Alcohol doesn't have to control us. There are ways to stop it. Let's do this.
There are many ways out. You can do this. I was beginning to think I'd never be sober. I was thinking I was damaged beyond repair, body and mind. But with the help and support of this site and the people on it, and lots of googling and learning, reading, and considering different ideas, I made a plan - and I revised it a few times - and then something clicked - I got angry at ALcohol and at myself and I WANTED a life .. a real life .. a happy life. Other people have it, why can't I? I can. YOU can.
I was drinking from breakfast until bedtime .. and a few times got up in the middle of the night and had one, just to keep the shakes away and so I could get back to sleep. It had gone way beyond a "fun buzz" and into "I can't physically function without alcohol." ... I scared myself to the point that I knew I had to STOP. I'm 44 and female, btw. I functioned well. I have a job, a family, a house, etc. I drank in secret and no one knew I had more than "a couple" in the evening. I was/am often alone and I drank mostly alone. I spent $20-$25 a day on rum or vodka. Every single day, until June 2/09 (except for last Wednesday - but I fought a nasty hangover on Thursday and got back on track, thank goodness).
Stick with us here. Read as much as you can. In the beginning, I just started reading.. the boards, everything I could. At the time, I still didn't "get it", but I know I wanted it. Eventually, something clicked and I knew I was ready. I hated what I had become. Sounds like you are as angry at AL and yourself as I was .. sounds like you want to know what it's like to have a normal life ... sounds like you want to find a way to do it.
Arm yourself with vitamins, supplements, good food, water water water, Milk Thistle for your liver, L-glutamine for cravings ... consider meds if you think you need them.
I don't know how much you drink, but detox / withdrawal can be not only scary but very dangerous. Listen to your body carefully if you decide to do it on your own.
I tapered down on my own first. If you'd like to read about how it went for me, here is a link to what I wrote about it as I was going through it... https://www.mywayout.org/community/f9...ggy-34156.html
You are here and you WANT to get better. That is Step 1. Step 2 is to make a plan, learn, try .. and keep on trying. Alcohol doesn't have to control us. There are ways to stop it. Let's do this.
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